I've seen on Mumsnet that at school age children's parties there are often parents turning up with uninvited siblings because of childcare issues. My DS is 20 months, so I'm not there yet, but if a child can spend all day at school, why would parents need to stay because of childcare issues? Surely it's up to the organising parents to ensure they feel comfortable with the adult:child ratio (asking their friends to help out if necessary)?
I don't recall my brother ever coming to a party I was invited to, with my mother, a single parent, unless the hosts were good family friends and wanted my mother there to help out and/or my brother there as he was friends with the birthday girl's little brother (and this was usually reciprocated when one of us had a birthday).
Is it unreasonable these days to drop off and pick up, or will I be expected to hang around, with DH looking after the other child (or vice versa)?
I'm not talking about SN children.
AIBU?
To not understand parents at children's parties?
cantreachmytoes · 18/06/2013 08:39
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LOL well first up, "school age" for me meant age 5+, because we didn't start school until then. Forgot about Reception. Only mentioned school age because it means the children have been apart from their parents before. Can see now its not as simple as that!
In my early years we lived in a small and very rural village. I guess it puts a rather specific context to it given that that means all the parents know each other (not necessarily like though!). We also didn't have the option of soft play, because it didn't exist there.
We (amongst my family and friends) didn't have big parties. We were allowed a biggie for our 5th birthdays, but otherwise it was 4-5 friends max and doing something. There were some classmates who did big parties but a handful of the host's friends would help out (friends who had an invited kid).
I was a very confident 5 year old but can see that not everyone was the same. As we were a small community though, there wouldn't have been invitees who weren't in our class at school. In a bigger setting (which I'm in and will be in), I can now see why people stay - "soft" play sounds more dangerous than other play!
I'm glad that there are people who do drop and run, where feasible, because although I want my children to have fun with friends, invite and be invited, I honestly cannot picture myself regularly attending children's parties, whether helping out, or looking bored!
No doubt I'll be back in a few years moaning that I have no weekends because I'm always attending birthday parties with one or both DCs!
DS (age 4) is nearly always involved in some sort of bumped head incident at parties, so I usually hang about to mop up the blood.
Everyone stayed at his last big party when he turned three. I invited siblings of his friends and, in two cases, cousins who were visiting the invited children once I realised they were visiting, and did enough sandwiches and bits for parents to tuck into after the children had had first pick.
Then at the end everyone told me how lovely and unusual that was as they normally fling the children from a moving car and drive off before they get asked to help, or lurk on the sidelines trying to steal sausage rolls from the smaller ones when they aren't looking because they are starving. 
I could have halved the food budget and cake demand if only I had known, but nobody told me.
Depends on the party, I wouldn't stay to a house party unless asked to or I was really good friends with the parents.
Soft play or village hall party with more than about 6 or 8 children I would.
Had a weird experience with DS1's party though, it was bowling then food in Frankie and Bennys.
There were 8 children, DH and I and all the other parents stayed. When it the time came for us to go next door to Frankie and Bennys we bought the parents a drink at the bowling place and expected them to carry on chatting.
Instead they came and stood behind their children while we were all eating our starter, it unnerving and they were taking up loads of space. One Mum had her sister and teenage niece and a double buggy and she got really suspicious when her son and DS needed the toilet and DH said he would take them.
Eventually the waitress said they had to all get a table and eat or go outside. The suspicious Mum kept sending the niece in to check on us 
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