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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Creepy trespassing magical fucking fairies

61 replies

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 16/06/2013 07:02

Our property has no front fences between it and the neighbours on each side. Consequently we are all able to enter one another's property, chat between them, etc. Both neighbours, to our left and right, are single women with grown children. I have a very cordial relationship with one, and we will stop and chat if we are both in our front gardens. I find the other one more difficult, just because I think she's nosy and a gossip, but there is no enmity, I just tend to keep a distance. None of us actually ever come into each others garden, although it is possible to do so its not our norm.

DD1 is four, and will happily talk the ear off either of them.

Yesterday DD1 went into her little playhouse, which sits on our front deck, and came back excited that fairies had left her a present. A fairy book, and a sparkly little purse. So she took them with her - we were on our way out - and we talked about leaving the fairies a thank you note. She got home late and tired, so we tabled it to today.

This morning she gets up, checks the cubbyhouse, there's a fairy figurine. We go out again. On our return two hours later there's another little purse, filled with beads and kids jewelry.

I don't like this at all. I think its nosy neighbour, and I think its way out of line to be coming onto my property, setting up expectations in my kid without checking with me or DH,and she is obviously monitoring our movements since she knew we were out this morning (we do have to drive past her window, to be fair). DH thinks its sweet, I want it to stop.

OP posts:
jendot · 16/06/2013 09:55

I wouldn't think it creepy if it was a bloke doing it.....not all men are peados you know? What a stupid comment......

Dackyduddles · 16/06/2013 09:58

It's very cute.

It's also potentially grooming.

I have no advice just a small knot of fear over this one....

ChewingOnLifesGristle · 16/06/2013 10:04

Ah once or twice is niceSmile

All the time would be ott Confused But it hasn't reached 'all the time' proportions, so still well within that's a sweet thing to do range.

I'd prefer to fence off my own bit of garden though, if that were me.

Fakebook · 16/06/2013 10:05

It's very cute.

It's also potentially grooming.

Wtf? What a shit world we live in, where kind and generous actions are thought of as something evil and sinister.

I think it's sweet too OP, and my dd would have loved something like this. I tell her that fairies live in flowers and she believes me.

BrawToken · 16/06/2013 10:11

As my dd would say, I would be on it like car bonnet. This is not ok or sane behaviour. If she wanted to do this, the least she could do is ask you first. I think it is very weird and am amazed how any folk think it is ok.

Dancergirl · 16/06/2013 10:16

I can't believe the responses on this thread Shock

You have to ASK PERMISSION before leaving a child a (non edible) treat??

This could be GROOMING??

How lovely and how lucky you are OP to have neighbours who want to be friends with your Dd and want to be kind to her. If you think she's nosy and a gossip, that's YOUR problem.

So what if she's coming in to your property, she's not doing any harm is she? I don't imagine it's very far onto your property.

FFS, you'll be saying you have on of those 'no turning' signs on your driveway next.

I really don't see the problem here unless you are so controlling your dd can only talk to/engage with people YOU say are ok.

ChewingOnLifesGristle · 16/06/2013 10:18

'she is obviously monitoring our movements since she knew we were out this morning'

Is she? Really?? What with binoculars and a spreadsheet.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 16/06/2013 10:19

Op yanbu. It was a possibly sweet thing to do. Once. Over and over it becomes intrusive,overbearing and , yes, creepy that she is watching your movements!
I have an older neighbour who occasinally drops by a pair of gloves for DS in the winter, and once brought him some Lucozade when he was poorly, but she comes to the door, she chats to me. She doesn't creep by and leave things with notes for him.
Come to think of it, that would make me ragey..
Leave a note for the fairies, asking them to please check with you before coming onto your property and leaving presents for your child.

MadeOfStarDust · 16/06/2013 10:19

You would honestly find nothing wrong with a grown man sneaking into someone's garden, into a little girl's playhouse and leaving her presents.

The op does not KNOW for certain it is a "nice" neighbour... yes I would find it creepy...

500internalerror · 16/06/2013 10:22

I'd pretend to be out, then watch the playhouse through the blinds. Just to make sure it's the neighbour.

If it was a close friend, they would mention it to me not do it on the sly. And if it wasn't a close friend I'd be wondering why they were doing it.

But then, we don't live in a villagey type 'safe' community. So my instinct is to check everything out carefully. A sad sign of the times.

Tweasels · 16/06/2013 10:23

Fairies are paedophiles? Who knew.

ChewingOnLifesGristle · 16/06/2013 10:23

I thought it was a woman....Confused

500internalerror · 16/06/2013 10:24

Like others have said, it's the frequency that's disturbing - once is sweet, if its from a well meaning neighbour. 3 times in rapid succession is definitely OTT.

MrsHoarder · 16/06/2013 10:28

I thought grooming as well. If your dd is expecting fairs then out would be much easier to tempt her into the house/car of whoever is doing it.

Were none of you taught not to take presents from strangers? It removes a boundary and sets an expectation of owing.

Tweasels · 16/06/2013 10:34

The OP believes the fairy to be her neighbour.

If it is a stranger that's an entirely different matter.

Why don't you just ask the neighbour if it was her?

Dancergirl · 16/06/2013 10:34

sets an expectation

What rubbish! If a child is bought a present by ANYONE, you teach them to be appreciative of that present but not to EXPECT anything else.

This a different thing from accepting a present from a stranger. As far as the OPs dd is concerned the presents are from the fairies. The neighbour is hardly likely to say 'by the way OP's dd, did you like the presents I left you?'

This thread is so sad on so many levels.

Tweasels · 16/06/2013 10:38

It's the daily mail effect.

Fakebook · 16/06/2013 10:45

The person is not a stranger. It's a neighbour who the OP has known for years.

Absolutely ridiculous. The OP is getting her own feelings of the neighbour get in the way of this. She thinks the neighbour is nosey and a gossip. Thinks. It sounds like the neighbour is trying to reach out to the OP trying to show that she's not as cold as she thinks she is. she doesn't sound like a bad person to me at all. She does sound misunderstood.

Stellarpunk · 16/06/2013 10:57

Surely it IS an intrusion to enter someone's property without permission.

I would also tend to argue that the frequency is in itself odd. OP, has something, anything changed over the last few days? I find it strange that either neighbour with an established pattern of behaviour suddenly changes it.

I personally would have a chat with the neighbours either side.

Because, what if it isn't them?

Salmotrutta · 16/06/2013 11:06

I think I'd definitely be wanting to establish who did it.

Neighbour you know - quite sweet but maybe too much in a couple of days.

Someone you don't know - weird and not so sweet.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 16/06/2013 11:07

Dopeysheep, ha!

Its unlikely to be anyone else (than one of the two neighbours) given that a new present appeared after a two hour absence today, I think. Certainly not worrying about peados on every corner!

Fakebook, no I know she's nosy and gossipy, you can't not know that after ten years of living next to someone. There are tales I can tell, but they're not relevant because it might not be her, and I find it intrusive and odd no matter who it is.

She doesn't talk to DD much compared to the other neighbour, really, just very occasionally, so no idea why now. DD likes fairies - I mean, she's four - but they don't really feature in her conversation much.

OP posts:
MrsHoarder · 16/06/2013 11:09

Dancergirl I meant in the "as I've given you some sweets, you have to do me a favour" sense, not as a spoilt expectation. IDK its just that sets off alarm bells for me. Most child abuse is by an adult the child knows.

Salmotrutta · 16/06/2013 11:10

Why do you think it's Nosey Neighbour and not Other Neighbour?

KinkyDorito · 16/06/2013 11:14

I'm with dopey, sounds like real fairies to me. If it was with my DC, I'd see if they fancied sorting the garden whilst they were at it. Do fairies have lawnmowers?

cheerfulweather · 16/06/2013 11:14

I've seen 'grooming' mentioned at least twice as a possibility! Really?

OP, at the moment it is sweet, but see how long it continues. And perhaps ask the neighbours to find out who it is.