To think this is not normal?

[TacticalWheelbarrow]

My step sister (but we are very close) has been in a relationship with a guy for three years now. They have been living together for 2. Her DP lived a fair bit away but only a 45 minute train journey, he moved away to live with her.

In those three years she has never met any of her DP's friends or family. He goes home to visit his family regularly for a weekend but never offers to take her. He also goes down there for Christmas, New Year and Easter but yet again never gives her an invite. When he is with his family he never picks up the phone to my sister and will call her back a few hours later.

My step sister has asked to meet his family but he always says no and gets very defensive. Apparently his family is wierd?
It's all really dodgy, when someone from back home calls him he takes the phone call and if step sister or anyone is in the room he walks away and has the phonecall in the bathroom out of earshot.
He never talks about his family and if step sister or her family and friends ask him about them he becomes very guarded.

He is 6 years older that my sister if that means anything.

Is my sister and I right in thinking this is bloomin weird?

[CackleCackle]

Properly gutted. I wanted to know what happened. Curse you unfinished zombie threads!

[NicknameIncomplete]

I think i have less than 23 people on my fb however some of them are family so not a fake account.

I agree that something is strange in your sisters situation.
He may just be embarrassed by his family(keeping up appearances anyone ) or as i and everyone else thinks he has kids and/or wife elsewhere.

[Tuonz]

Ffs Sika.

Does this shit ever work?
Try real advertising, if you want I can investigate some companies that can help, since you have been unable to uncover any yourself.
If I want a shitty photo of a guy carrying parcels behind some bins I'll take it myself. I have a fake tache and a huge newspaper.

[AllThatGlistens]

Oh for gods sake, stop raking up old threads to advertise your business! Reported.

[SybilRamkin]

Yeah, I've been lurking on this and was wondering whether it got resolved. Any update, OP?

[mosuzu]

What happened with this?

[Buddhagirl]

Private investors needed

[flippinada]

Exactly Spero. Wouldn't you have mentioned it at some point during a three year relationship?

Maybe he has got a crazy, awful family..although that begs the question of why he goes to see them regularly, if they're genuinely crazy and awful.

And how does he police the phone thing, what if they phone while he's out and stepsis picked up? Or they left a message on the answering machine and she got it?

Something definitely not adding up here.

[ImperialBlether]

Never mind your sister for a minute, OP - what's this about your own husband who you think could track you down on here? What's going on there?

[flippinada]

Yes, it's weird. He is hiding something from her.

[SillyBlueHat]

Any update OP?

[Spero]

So why won't he talk to her about it then?

Surely he can just say - sorry love, my family are weird and embarrassing and I just don't want to put you through it.

Its the fact that he won't deal with her obvious distress that is the worrying thing here, not the actual details about weird family/other woman/other kids.

[Fakebook]

This is going to be another one of those threads with an anti climax. Then everyone will disperse like ants when you take the cake away. I bet the man's family really are weird and he's embarrassed of them or they try to control him and so he keeps his distance.

[trashcanjunkie]

I hope she's ok....

[buildingmycorestrength]

TacticalWheelbarrow has not posted on MN to speak of since her last post on this thread. She might be in a deep situation with family, or she might have name changed. She may not come back.

But, man, I wish she would! I would love to know what was discovered, if anything.

[SoggySummer]

OP - have you decided what you want to do?? Are you going to say anything to your sister or delve some more or just leave it??

[piffpoff]

Damn you Wannabe/ Voice of reason, but some of us have no life really need to know.

[wannaBe]

I don't necessarily agree that 23 friends on fb equals a fake/dodgy account. Lots of people choose not to live their lives on fb or in fact don't have fb at all, that doesn't make them dodgy.

I do agree with whoever it was that said up thread that if you hire a private detective to find out about your partner then the relationship is over. If I were the partner I would probably hire the PI because I would want to know (as I said up thread). however, it is entirely possible that there could be an innocent explanation.

And while I think that checking on the internet etc is perfectly ok, for the op to be hiring a private detective would be overstepping a line - whoever it was who suggested that.

Ultimately, if the sister is happy in her relationship then is it really for someone else to try and prove that this man isn't who/what he says he is? I can understand why op's dh doesn't want her to be involved.

[eminemmerdale]

3 years . I'd be fuming and would have found out where they live and gone round there!!

[CoffeePleaseSir]

Blimey he sounds so dodgy, I agree something else is going on with this man, wife, kids, whatever but he definitely sounds like he has another life somewhere else

[lljkk]

I don't think OP should say anything to her sister (yet), there may be an explanation that still puts him in the clear morally.

[lljkk]

.

[Pendipidy]

You should tell your sister your suspicions . It isn't normal for a relationship.