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AIBU?

...to tell my dog he's a stupid bl**dy animal???

35 replies

badbride · 08/05/2013 10:28

So, my mostly adorable little terrier has started eating random stuff while out on walks. First of all it was sticks, FGS. He'd have a good old nosh on them, then come home and yak up all the bits. On the stair carpet rather than the kitchen floor tiles, of course.

Trying to distract Dog with treats simply led to Dog learning to keep grabbing sticks and looking at me in a most insolent manner until I gave him more treats. Eventually solved the problem by running dementedly at Dog, bellowing "No!", sending him scuttling away from sticks (and me scaring small children).

Dog has now decided to eat grass. Dog is now serving up undigested foliage in a bile sauce where you are most likely to accidentally stand in it barefoot. Have tried offering dog water on his walks in case his grass-eating is caused by thirst. Dog doesn't want to know.

Came downstairs this morning to find Dog wearing his sad face because he had a 4-inch blade of grass poking out of his bumhole, which I then had to extract. Told Dog that he is a stupid bl**dy animal. DH says AIBU. Am I?

And if anyone has any ideas as to how to stop the idiotic beast from gobbling grass, I'd be very grateful.

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dayshiftdoris · 08/05/2013 17:40

Mine eats cat poo... it can't resist it... then it is terribly guilty as it knows it's wrong (she especially likes to snaffle fresh from the litter tray, leave a trail of litter, eat half and leave half on the rug).... commonly I don't catch her she just looks so wretched and shakes that I all I need to say is 'What have you done??' and she goes to her bed giving me the eyes...

(BTW she shakes at the brush, the hoover, the wind in the trees, raised voices, the washing machine yet chases cats, birds, tracks rabbits and squirrels, disappears over steep banks... terriers - I'll never understand them!)

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MummyPig24 · 08/05/2013 17:11

I don't think dogs can have taste buds judging by the things they eat! My in laws dog will eat anything he can get his chops on, mobile phones, remote controls, bras, sanitary pads

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badbride · 08/05/2013 13:11

Love the idea of the accessory ears and tail -- does Worral have different sets according to the season" Smile

Am glad Bad Dog isn't the only one who destroys things/ requires bum archaeology (excavation to reveal what has been eaten in the past). The eating side of things is new for him though: usually he only shreds the post/ shoes/ socks/ tax returns without actually swallowing them.

WHY??? though? Surely iPhone chargers/ gloves/ sticks can't taste nice?

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ToupOfRegDwight · 08/05/2013 12:46

My dog ate grass when he wasn't feeling too well. He also ate hair, string that was cut off of meat and a plastic bag once. I miss the daft bugger.

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theodorakisses · 08/05/2013 12:39

and don't worry, Worral has a stick on tail and ears thanks to year 3

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Manda472 · 08/05/2013 12:39

Haha bad bride. I never pulled anything out his bum again after that, just let nature take its course from now on Wink

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theodorakisses · 08/05/2013 12:39

Worral really likes wires, especially iPhone chargers. I am lucky not to be divorced and childless...and kittengirl especially likes homework, maybe because we found her at the school and she likes the smell but a bit embarrassing for headmaster husband who has to explain to the teachers why there are punctures in the diary...

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francesdrake · 08/05/2013 12:38

although to answer your original question, YANBU to tell your dog he's a monstrous pain in the arse. I frequently tell my dog she's a terrible drama farmer, the laziest hound ever, the bane of my life and the most beautiful dog in the world choochie paws slobber face and she seems to take it on the chin(s).

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badbride · 08/05/2013 12:29

OMG, theodora! Poor, poor puppy! How can people do such things? At least he's found a loving home now, though. Even so, the thought of what he must have gone through makes me Sad and very Angry

Still, am cheered up somewhat by the mental image of Manda pulling everlasting string out of her pooch's bum, while shouting "STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!!" Grin

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mouseymummy · 08/05/2013 12:27

I once had a major panic on with my outside dog, thought he had a really bad case of worms... Turned out the next door neighbours kids had been feeding him wipes and other very tasty things... They got a shock one day, we found a lovely bull mastiff wandering round the estate so we brought big dog in and put the random dog in the pen... The kids came round to feed ours and got barked at! They never did it again!!

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theodorakisses · 08/05/2013 12:08

Yes, Worral Mn Pitbull is a foster named by MN who at 10 weeks was thrown from a car window in Qatar with his ears and tail hacked off. He eats anything and everything (including old boy's tail) but I suppose you would after that start

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Manda472 · 08/05/2013 12:05

Our bulldog must have been eating something stringy at one point because i had to pull a long piece of string out of his butt hole......it was like the scene out of poltergeist, I had no idea what was going to pop through Grin

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ZebraOwl · 08/05/2013 11:54

Def worth a wee chat with the vet just to be sure I'd think OP.

MrsMook
My friend's grandmother's dog once demolished a whole box of Ferrero Rocher. And then covered the front lawn with the resultant sparkly poo. Bleurghk.

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badbride · 08/05/2013 11:24

Oh dear, theodora, hope dog is OK (you did mean a dog, right??)

Some of you guys deserve a medal for your dogbum foreign object midwifery Grin

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ExitPursuedByABear · 08/05/2013 11:21
Shock
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theodorakisses · 08/05/2013 11:18

Had to pull a small sock out of MN Worral's bum the other day, he screamed the house down.

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Leverette · 08/05/2013 11:10

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badbride · 08/05/2013 11:04

Good advice, plinky. Unfortunately, Dog is a primadonna when it comes to food and won't eat dry stuff unless it put it in one of his interactive toys (dog pyramid).

He will deign to eat home-made chicken and rice though. Will also steal wine from your glass if you're not careful!

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badbride · 08/05/2013 11:01

Thanks for the continuing responses. There is no obvious trigger for the behaviour: no food change, no change in bowel habits (bar the grassy bumhole!), Dog is alert and energetic, no obvious signs of worms (he is wormed regularly, but will worm again in case).

As folk have suggested, I think a trip to the vet may be a good idea. Dog is a bit of a chewer though, so hopefully he's just doing it for fun.

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mistlethrush · 08/05/2013 10:54

We had 2 collie crosses that used to eat grass to make themselves sick. However, our last dog used to eat grass like a cow, and not to make herself sick. She would just graze as she walked along - and yes, the consequences the other end are not fun.

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plinkyplonks · 08/05/2013 10:51

My dog only does it when she needs to be sick/has an upset stomach. Have you changed dog food lately? If this was my dog, I'd get her wormed - keep her on dry food with plenty of water and if it was still ongoing after that take her to the vet to make sure she was OK.

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MrsMook · 08/05/2013 10:51

My dog once proved that 16 KitKats and their wrappers can sucessfully move through the digestive system. On finding silver poo, I did wince at the thought of that exiting.

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francesdrake · 08/05/2013 10:46

My dog likes eating grass as a sort of salad bar addition to her main food, but she also eats it when she's got an upset stomach, to make herself sick. I agree that eating grass and sticks does sound a bit like your dog might be self-medicating for some sort of digestive reason? Could he be trying to bring up something he's eaten a while back that's got stuck? But it could equally be he just likes chomping away. I'd maybe mention it to your vet, to be on the safe side.

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ExitPursuedByABear · 08/05/2013 10:43

Yep. Done all of that. Toes in the grassy sick, and I had to extract grass from Bastardogs arse.

Minger

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Ladame · 08/05/2013 10:43

Mine ate my expensive birthday lipgloss yesterday out of my bag. Bits of sick with plastic tube in, coral slimy poo, but I must admit, he did look very pretty for a while as it stuck to his rubbery lips. He's a terrier too. (Hmmm, there's a thought .... make-up for dogs, might be a new business venture) Grin

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