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to want to punch the woman behind me?

38 replies

floatyfloni · 07/05/2013 13:21

For eating so god damn loudly.

My two year old is eating his lunch more quietly than you.

I dont want to hear your baked beans going squish squash squelch you disgusting mare!

OP posts:

OnceUponAThyme · 07/05/2013 13:23

the more attention you give it, the louder it seems. try and ignore it as hard as it is.
or take her food off her and tell her to eat nicely Grin


HoHoHoNoYouDont · 07/05/2013 13:24

Turn around with a concerned look on your face and ask her if she's ok. If she looks at you puzzled just say you thought she was choking on her food with all the noise she was making Grin


helenthemadex · 07/05/2013 15:38

YANBU I cant stand people who make chomping noises its just ewwwwwwwww


BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 07/05/2013 15:46

I can't imagine how you can eat baked beans noisily. I mean crisps and apples etc sure...but baked beans???Confused


ToupOfRegDwight · 07/05/2013 15:48

I was on a bus last week with a woman who slurped an Alpen bar.


ToupOfRegDwight · 07/05/2013 15:49

Posted too soon.

YANBU. Some people sound like they should be living with cattle.


squoosh · 07/05/2013 15:51

Noisy eating makes me fizz with rage. Why did no one ever teach these savages table manners?

These chompers are always the sort to then use their paper napkin as a hankie and have a good post-scoff root around in their nostrils and then examine said napkin thoroughly.


Tee2072 · 07/05/2013 15:52

::waits for someone to comment on the violence in the title::


squoosh · 07/05/2013 15:55

Punching's too good for noisy eaters. Throw her to the lions!


Purplemonster · 07/05/2013 16:01

I work with someone who licks the inside of her yogurt pot with her tongue when she can't get any more out of it with a spoon. It makes me feel violent.


ouryve · 07/05/2013 16:03


My ex was a noisy eater. Vile pig.


puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 07/05/2013 16:03

Violent title!!!!


smoothieooo · 07/05/2013 16:04

I had to endure a 30 minute train journey the other day with a woman eating an orange in the most lip-smackingly, slurpy manner. It was hideous and no amount of glaring over my paper decreased the decibel level obviously I'm too much of a wuss to actually say anything


Talismanic · 07/05/2013 16:04

Ugh. My ex is a really noisy eater, not just the chomping and slurping but the little "nngh nngh mmnngh" noises he made too.

I cannot bear it. YANBU. Punch her for all of us.


ladyjadie · 07/05/2013 17:26

Ugh ugh UGH.. I HATE it!

My ex did it too, and shovelled food into his gob so no wonder!
I said something when the rose tinted earplugs fell out a couple of times, but he still did it! After a year he just got looks, and would say I was controlling. Well IF YOU JUST ATE WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT.


Talismanic I actually cringed reading your impression! Grin


Donnadoon · 07/05/2013 17:32

Erm I have to admit ... But I am a noisy eater... I can't help it really I can't
I don't do the napkin thing as mentioned up thread
I just forget myself and eat " like a cement mixer" the family say
If its any consolation I don't eat out in public, very rarely anyway


LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/05/2013 17:33

Someone on the bus today was eating cake with sticky icing.

Every time she picked it up, took a tiny bite, and sucked all five fingers one after the other, slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp. And then began again.

I wanted to bloody murder her.


pictish · 07/05/2013 17:38

Not the same...but sort of...

Went to a gig last night, and in my usual fashion stayed to the edge at the side so I could see. Three young lassies behind me...maybe 17/18? One was pressed right into my back and sang along utterly tunlessly at top volume throughout.

She was really gripping my shit and distracting me from the actual singer. I tried to tell myself not to be such a miserable hag, and that it's ok to sing at a gig....but honestly...they're not really a sing along sort of one else was singing...we were all there to listen.

Elbowed her in the tit a couple of times but she never noticed.


fdparis · 07/05/2013 17:39

Haate it. It borders on a phobia for me. Punching is far too mild.


Sparhawk · 07/05/2013 17:42

My DM's step-dad eats fucking loudly with his mouth open.

Makes me want to KILL small fluffy things. Angry


LittlePeaPod · 07/05/2013 17:42

Ohh that made my skin craw.. YANBU.... The other thing that annoys me and makes me feel sick is people who eat with their mouths open or people who talk with their mouths full.... Gross!


pictish · 07/05/2013 17:43

My dad grumbles and grizzles like a grizzly bear when he eats. GRRRRR!! Grrrrrr...grrrr.....GRR! Homnomnomnom..grrrr...nomnomnom...
It's embarrassing. People stare, and none of us can look one another in the eye, for fear of laughter.
He has no idea he's doing it.


Moominsarehippos · 07/05/2013 17:48

Once a the woman next to me on the bus ate a box of chicken. She crunched the bones and sluuuuurped. Then she ate an apple. All of it, core included.


VeganCow · 07/05/2013 19:08

Elbowed her in the tit a couple of times but she never noticed.

hahahahaha Grin


Moominsarehippos · 07/05/2013 19:48

My sister hums to herself when opresented with food (especially particularly yummy stuff). She does a little shoulder shimmy too. I'm sure she doesn't know (yet). She's approaching 50.

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