to think parents should supervise their children in the playground if they don't play nicely.

[thedancingboro]

I was making sandcastles with my 2 year old DS. We had made three with a wall going between each. DS is patting the top of the bucket before lifing it, when a girl (about 3.5) comes and moves his hand and starts patting it. She then put her whole body between him and the bucket and lifts it off.

I bite my tongue.

She then lifts the bucket off, and throws it across the sandpit.

I say to her "if you would like to play, you are welcome to but you mustn't throw the bucket because it could hit another child"

I go and get the bucket, and sit back down. She breaks the sandcastle she has just hijacked DS making. I say:

"Oh dear. You have just broken it. We aren't breaking them - we are making a big sandcastle with walls and tunnels"

She then breaks two more castles (one with each hand).

I tell her that its not very nice, as DS has made those and he is only little so it takes him a long time. She says "so..... Im breaking them"

I ask her where her mummy is (both parents are the other end of the playground sunbathing), and say that maybe she should make some sandcastles with her mummy which she can break, rather than breaking other people's sandcastles.

She then throws sand in DSs face.

I tell her thats a really horrible thing to do and to go away to her mummy.

She goes off, and then returns with her father who tells me not to speak to her like that as she is only little. I ask like what exactly, she flattened DSs sandcastles, and then threw sand in his face. And I summed up what I had said to her (he could only be going on what the child said as he was way, way, way out of earshot).

He then asks if she said sorry, I said no, he told her to say sorry, she did, and then said to me "there you go" and walks away.. As he is walking away, he says to DP (who was sitting on the wall at the edge of the sandpit keeping out of it!) "if youve got something to say, say it". DP ignored him.

The mother then comes over with the child, and in a very loud voice keeps saying "no, we wont go near them, they dont know how to share". After the 4th time of her saying this, I tell her that her DD is welcome to come over if she plays nicely. Then I told her what she had done. She then says "did she say sorry" - I say yes when her father came over. The mother seemed satisfied with that.


DP said to me I am going to get into a lot of arguments if I expect children not to break sandcastles. Its not a problem if a 1 year old comes over and breaks them, but a 3.5 year old I think should know better. DS knows better. I make lovely sandcastles, with tunnels and bridges and walls, and he (and lots of other children that join in) love playing with his dinosaurs in the castles. I have always taught DS its nice to create things rather than destroy them, and he doesnt go around upsetting other children by breaking their sandcastles!!

So am I being unreasonable?!?!!!

[JackieTheFart]

YANBU, and I too get annoyed with all these I-am-more-pious-than-thou attitudes about children. Sometimes children behave appallingly, and if you can control your inner reactions every single time to not think 'cheeky sod!' then you are lying.

OP was surly just setting a scene with the sandcastles. Why is it ok to let another child destroy what your child has made without telling them not to? I wouldn't allow one of my children to destroy a sandcastle my other son had made without telling him it's a bit mean, so I don't see why a stranger shouldn't be told!

[AnnaRack]

I think the girl was attention-seeking after beibg basically ignored by her parents. Not to condone her behaviour , the sand throwing would have made me v angry and i would probably have left with my DC at that point. Well done for standing up to the rude parents, but it's probably best to walk away jf things turn nasty rather than end up having a row, threatening to call police etc