People taking ridiculous risks with their dc in supermarket trolleys

[wherewasi]

Just done the supermarket run, as always I find I have to avert my eyes and bite my tongue at the sight of so many tiny children standing up in the trolley while it's being pushed round the shop or hanging off the side.

I have seen so many accidents where the trolley gets shunted and the child falls over/off and hurts themselves - bangs their head, bites their tongue, scrapes themselves on the metal. Why do parents do this? Presumably they take the normal precautions in other areas - car seats, road safety awareness, advising dc to take care in the playground or running round the house?

Even saw a really tiny one today slumped in one of the shallow trolleys with his head lolling over the edge, just at the right level to bang it on a shelf.

AIBU or OTT to cringe about this?

[ChippingInLovesSpring]

Northern - my comment was directed to sparkling in answer to her question, so no I didn't feel I needed to make it clear to anyone else what I was talking about.

It has nothing to do with 'my right to pointlessly endanger my children' what a ridiculous comment. It is simply that I don't think it is a risk when I do it and I know what I and the children are able to do - you make your decisions, I make mine - no need for the nasty comments.

[YouTheCat]

Special needs aside, how come so many children too big for the trolley seats are not able to walk next to parents safely?

Is this a new thing? I know it was impossible to take my ds around a supermarket once he was too big for the seat as he is autistic and supermarkets send him into total meltdown because of the noise and lighting. His twin sister was able to walk sensibly next to me though from about age 3.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

YouTheCat - DS2 is only just two and only just under the weight limit for trolley seats (50th centile). I think it's a pretty big ask for a slightly fatter child of the same age to walk nicely round the whole shop.

Which is why I'm planning to go when he is at playschool once he is too big for the trolley. But not everyone has that luxury.

And online shopping is shit.

[Meglet]

DS is 6 and sometimes hangs off the edge of the trolley. It's safer than having him wandering off or bumping into people. He has been known to 'help' and push the trolley but I get ratty and he ends up bumping into things / people.

DD is 4 and still sits in the trolley seat if I do a big shop. I dread the day she doesn't fit it. My nerves will be shredded when she is free to roam the supermarket.

[NorthernLurker]

Not thinking something is a risk is not the same as it being risk free or even low risk. Nobody thinks their child will choose the moment to lean out a bit too far whilst you're deciding between types of pasta but the risk IS there. The supermarkets know it's there - which is why you'll be told not to do this in person and by signage and labelling.

[YouTheCat]

There was no online shopping when mine were small. But, having said that, I think the trolley seats were more generous back then.

Maybe supermarkets should make the seats bigger?

[Schooldidi]

I let dd2 stand in the trolley most weeks. It's never really occured to me that people might judge me on it. She's 3, she fits in the normal trolley seat, she sometimes sits in the seat, sometimes she prefers to stand in the big section, sometimes she walks with me. She is aware that she needs to hold on tight and make sure her fingers are out of the way of other trolleys.

I would rate the risk of letting her stand in the trolley as less than letting her ride her bike, which seems acceptable yet has accounted for a number of grazed knees. She has had far more problems walking beside me because people don't always notice her, or she stops unpredictably (as 3 year olds do sometimes) and ends up being bashed by a trolley.

[TheChaoGoesMu]

Well I've never been told by staff to take dc out of the trolley. In fact one staff member kindly held the trolley still so I could put dc in recently. No signs up either.

It would be useful if the seats were bigger YouTheCat.

[Sparklingbrook]

When DS1 was little (he's 13) there were trolleys at Tesco with a Little Tikes car attached to the front. They were great.

[TheChaoGoesMu]

Our tescos had one of those but its vanished. That would be amazing.

[GirlOutNumbered]

I had DS2 in the front of the trolley and must have pushed off a bit hard. He smacked his head in the metal bar bit and I felt like a cunt.
Won't do it again!

[DontSHOUTTTTTT]

I don't like kids being in the trolley. I think it can be dangerous and I really dislike it from a hygiene point of view. I never let my kids do it.

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

Gosh. I let DD (13 months) stand in the end of the trolley all the time. Big trolley, in the little bottle compartment. She's not tall enough to come even remotely close to falling out, she likes looking around, and people coo at how cute she looks. I gave up putting her in the seat when she cried, arched her back, thrashed a bit and damn nearly fell out.

Maybe the people looking at her and smiling are secretly judging.

[lozster]

Any risk assessment considers the likelihood that an event will occur and the impact of the event if it does occur. Child falling from a trolley may well be unlikely however it is likely to have a severe outcome if it does. I actually don't think it is that unlikely either - kids climb and pull themselves (hence surely cot sides adjusting/removing a side when the child is big enough to pull themselves). In short, a trolley simply isn't designed to be used in this way and the instructions tell you this. Some parents always think they know better and it's not a great lesson for the child. An equivalent is when Ive seen parents putting their kids in jacuzzis for example at health clubs then arguing with the staff when the no children rule is pointed out to them.

[NorthernLurker]

'people coo at how cute she looks. I gave up putting her in the seat when she cried, arched her back, thrashed a bit and damn nearly fell out'

So that's your answer to a unhappy baby, as a presumably responsible parent? Put her somewhere not designed for her, beyond your arms reach? Look, just think about that because she is going to grow and get stronger and even more able to lever herself out.

[Theironfistofarkus]

If you have more than 2 small Dc then it is much easier to shop if they are all contained. Sometimes they all run around in different directions and they can be slippery little eels. Standing in trolley probably not ideal but better than losing one. And trolley surfing is fun!

[DitaVonCheese]

Of course it has a benefit, it's good for their balance skills

[wonkylegs]

My sister fell out of a trolley when she was about 3.5 and ended up in hospital with lots of stitches & concussion. It was serious and with it in mind I've never let DS stand up in the trolley.
I remember it well because I was gutted that my brother (because he was making a huge fuss) & my sister (because she was waiting for an ambulance) got toys from the ASDA manager and I got nothing because I was being quiet & good & looking after my baby brother I'm not in any way still bitter about that

[olivertheoctopus]

I have never seen a kid get hurt due to standing in a trolley. Perhaps OP is a tad risk adverse. I can hear the helicopter blades whirring...

[wherewasi]

I let DD (13 months) stand in the end of the trolley all the time...she likes looking around, and people coo at how cute she looks.

God that's sad. A tiny child relies on its parent to care for them and protect them but this parent decides it's ok to take unacceptable risks because people think it looks 'cute'.

[lozster]

I'm bemused at why people think that never having seen an accident occur means that something is low risk. As a kid in the 70s I never saw a child go through a windscreen of a car either but I'm still buying a car seat for my baby to be. Several people on here have mentioned their own or other people's accidents that have occurred - do they not count? A child died riding a trolley in B&Q as mentioned up thread.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

It is risky.

But the alternative if you have a "runner" is not risk free and probably more likely if less severe (eg chasing the runner down the aisle, maybe having to leave behind a younger sibling in the seat every single shop vs a low likelihood of an injury as a "one off")

I squeeze DS2 (the runner) into the seat or get him to help push (and try not to crash into other shoppers) but I can understand why people balance the risks differently. I can't hold his hand and push the trolley one handed.

On the whole, I shop online.

[JenaiMorris]

Ds tipped a full trolley over once, hanging off the side - shopping everywhere, him underneath.

Thankfully all that happened was that he was very shocked and I got to say 'I told you so'.

Basically, children shouldn't be riding in or on anything other than the seats.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

When I was about 3 I fell of the side of a trolley in Kwik Save, I still remember it even though I didn't seriously injure myself.

My ex though, he also fell out of one when he was small but he actually fractured his skull. :( He's suffered terribly with migranes his entire life and thinks that is the cause.

I don't think it is worth the risk.

[Theironfistofarkus]

Ps I have a confession to make. I still trolley surf myself (not with DC standing in trolley or indeed anywhere in the vicinity).