To let my kids play football in the road?

[sandyballs]

It's a quiet road and they are 12 so not little. I've told them to keep the ball low and avoid parked cars and I've watched them and they do. They're also good at looking out for cars coming.

They told me tonight that a neighbour freaked out at them saying how dangerous it was and to get out the road. She has much younger kids. I'm just pleased weather is nicer, evenings are lighter and they're outside and not on some kind of screen. AIBU?

[chaime]

Off-topic, but I'm quite judgmental of people who tarmac/pave over their gardens to create parking space as I once saw a documentary about how this is one contributing factor to increasing flooding in this country (there is less soil to absorb rainwater).

But then if we park our cars on the road, we're taking up valuable playing space for our children!

One can't win :(

[EmmelineGoulden]

AmI presumably you actually drive that car on the road when it isn't parked on your drive, so you make the environment those children live in more dangerous to them. The OP mentions that the neighbour who told the kids off went on about how "dangerous" it was.

I'm not advocating that kids should be able to kick balls around with impunity and that it doesn't matter if they hit someone's car or window. They need to take care. Just as you need to when you are driving.

[EmmelineGoulden]

Mutt people managed for years without cars, so by your logic everyone who drives is also using an I'm alright jack argument.

I agree the park sounds on the face of it like a better place to be. But walking or cycling most short to medium distances is a "better" method of transport than driving. It doesn't mean everyone should have to do it.

The space kids used to be able to use has been severely encroached upon by our car culture. Getting annoyed at the kids is a really selfish and arrogant response to their situation. No wonder this country has such a bad reputation for childhood happiness.

[anastaisia]

I agree with Emmeline. I'd rather my car got scratched or bumped than kids weren't allowed to play in our street. It's just a car. A tool for getting between places. I'd hate it to impact on children's quality of life by preventing them from using the shared space outside their own houses.

[AmIthatSpringy]

my car hasn't been damaged driving though,it's damaged sitting on my property. That's my objection, nothing to do with safety.

Still, it's nice to know that I'm arrogant for not expecting 12 year olds to play either in their own gardens or in one if the many play areas around.

[EmmelineGoulden]

Mutt the same is true of driving. It doesn't matter how much care people take, people still get hurt and killed by cars. Bit more serious than a dent or a broken window though. Nevertheless, car drivers a not being unreasonable driving, and kids aren't being unreasonable playing.

[anastaisia]

I don't place NO value on my car. I value it because it allows me to get to work and take camping holidays with my children. I spend money to keep it running and time keeping it clean.

I don't think it remaining in an undamaged state takes priority over children being able to use the space we all have to share. If I felt very strongly about it being protected I wouldn't leave it parked there.

[EduCated]

Surely walking to the park to play football is even better exercise an will stop a 'nation of obesity' more than just lazily strolling outside to play?

[ihearsounds]

Its not just dents and scratches that balls cause. Balls can also break things. Why is it fair for others to have to replace broken plant pots and windows?

Yes as I child we played on the street. But even then we weren't allowed to play ball games. Instead we had to go an play in the park.

People rely on their cars for a number of reasons, including use for work. We have a couple of private taxi drivers who live on this road. They need their car for work. They need their cars to be clean to pick up their customers. You don't know why people need their cars. Why they need them is unimportant. What is important is that other peoples property should be respected.

[AmIthatSpringy]

Genuine question for anastasia then, as I'm trying to understand the alternative viewpoint.

Supposing you were the parent of a child (12 or so) who was playing in the street outside my house, booted the ball and knocked off my wing mirror of the car parked in the driveway of my house.

Would you believe that it was my problem and should come out of my pocket as I didn't make enough of an effort to protect it?

[TheRealFellatio]

Children of twelve are old enough to walk to the park and are too big to be booting footballs in the confined space of a residential street. People will get hit by balls, cars and windows and plants will get hit by balls, children will get hit by cars.

Once boys are over the age of around 8 or 9 they can boot a ball pretty hard. I just don't think it's very fair on your neighbours and there will eventually be a row over it.

[EduCated]

My grandparents have very fond memories of playing on building sites, in abandoned houses and round the railway tracks. But oddly, no-one seems too bothered that we don't let children play there any more.

I mean, surely, the builders just need to be a bit more considerate, don't they?

[anastaisia]

I'd expect that the majority of people would exercise common sense? Like they might if a neighbour scraped their car reversing out of the street (far more likely on our road than the children damaging it).

As the parent I'd make my child help to fix the problem but I'd help them with that. As the car owner I'd understand that accidents happen. As a person living in the street I'd be quite happy to tell any children playing out to watch out for cars/property if they seemed to be going a bit wild. As I said, what I wouldn't expect is that the cars being there take priority over the children using the space. It's their space too and in many areas just going to the park isn't the answer.

[ihearsounds]

Think after reading this, I am going to gather the local children, a ball or two and lead them to the motorway so they can play football. After all, children should have priority of the roads, as it's their space as well. The park closest to me, isn't usable, has the teens in there.

[Iamsparklyknickers]

I think this thread is being derailed by the car argument. I agree we have become over reliant and that there are too many on the roads but that's a much bigger argument and one that isn't really pertinent to the OP. You shouldn't have to worry about your property being damaged by your neighbours.

FWIW I think there are degrees of playing - normal shouty, laughter - ok. Shrieking, roaring(!), swearing, running over neighbours property and damaging stuff - not ok. You can guess which one I live by .

I don't just worry about the car, I worry about my windows and garden. The kids here have no problem using everyones front garden as hiding spaces or booting a football full force across the cul-de-sac. It's not acceptable, but not one of the parents seem to be keeping enough of an eye on their kids to tell them not to do it. I've come home to a child crouching down beside my porch hiding while they're playing their version of hide and seek/dodgeball

I grew up in a cul-de-sac and we weren't allowed to play ball games or ride bikes there - that's what the park or back garden was for. We also would have had our arses handed to us for using the neighbours front gardens as our playground. The 'good old days' involved a lot of clips round the ear from random adults if they spotted kids getting out of line.

I also watched as two childhood friends were killed in incidents involving cars right there in the cul-de-sac (one was stationary btw) so they're not safe just because you can see your kids out the window and you think they're sensible - it's not enough when you chuck in all the varients that are beyond your control and that a sensible child is still a child and doesn't have the best risk assessment skills yet.

[AmIthatSpringy]

Ha, I'll remember that next time MY garden gets trampled, or I have to pay for repairs - bearing in mind that money I spend on that has to come from some other part of my living expenses, to the detriment of MY children.

Common sense!

It's their space too!

[BegoniaBampot]

i grew up in cul de sac with a big grass area in the middle.it was bliss for kids. we did play football although they put a no ball games sign in but it made a good football post. we played out for hours on bikes, roller skates, tennis on the road, our own mimi olympics. when we did leave the street there was no nearby park. just a fast flowing river, train tracks and woods. guess the parents felt playing in our street was the lesser of two evils. kids just seem an inconvience these days.

[anastaisia]

"The kids here have no problem using everyones front garden as hiding spaces or booting a football full force across the cul-de-sac. It's not acceptable, but not one of the parents seem to be keeping enough of an eye on their kids to tell them not to do it."

"I'll remember that next time MY garden gets trampled"

When I first responded I was replying to a series of posts specifically about cars. I don't think it's okay for children to play without respecting other people's property. They shouldn't be running around people's gardens without permission or playing in ways that mean damage is likely rather than accidental. And so it's obviously important that there's a level of supervision if they need it!

But I don't think that's the same thing as them always having to go somewhere else to play because of the potential for accidental damage to property.

[Yonididnaedaethat]

The kids should play with a ball at the park.

A few years ago while I was at work, my DD was playing with her friend on our driveway with a ball........she kicked it too high and it cracked someone's car windscreen . So I basically had worked a full week to replace that windscreen.

[expatinscotland]

The road is for vehicle transport, anastacia, not for children to play. It is shared space only in the sense that it is to be shared with other road users, not as a playground or a park.

[expatinscotland]

'As the car owner I'd understand that accidents happen.'

And pay for it out of your own pocket? Right.

The park is there for a reason - for pedestrians to use including for play. It's the reason the council doesn't just flog it all off and build more roads.