teenage daughter 16yrs old travelling to Portugal with friend.

[toots7]

Hi everyone I am new to this, iam divorced over 10yrs have a beautiful 16 year old daughter who wants to go to Portugal to stay with relatives, by the way my daughter lives with her mum I have her every 2 weeks for the weekend. I don't have a problem with my daughter going to Portugal, even though of course I will be worried. The problem is someone has told my daughter it would be an adventure to go by coach stopping off at Paris for a few hours then catching another coach to end the journey in Portugal. At 16 year old I would prefer her to go directly by airline with a friend as mentioned. For some strange reason her mum doesn't seem to mind how she travels and seems unconcerned. Please help me Portugal will be worry enough, , but the thought of my daughter and her 16yr old friend negotiating the route scares me witless. AM I RIGHT OR WRONG TO DEMAND THAT SHE CAN GO.......BUT ONLY BY AIRLINE???.........Many Thanks.

[CarpeVinum]

Oh god the bus is crap!

Pre Sleazyjet I came to live in Italy on the London-Milan bus.

What a fecking NIGHTMARE!

My bum hurt, my legs were all half dead and pins and needley. Snoring, farting people kept me awake all night. The service stations had crap expensive ineeible food and don't even adk me about the coffee. Liquid shit at the price of melted gold.

That was 18 years ago and I can still remember all the details of uncomfortable, interminible and mind boggling boring the jouney was. We arrived in Milan at 6am to add insult to injury. I am just not built to be putside when the birds start squarking.

It buggered up my sleep patterns for two weeks cos I crashed by 11am and didn't wake up again until midnight.

Fuck Paris. It just isn't worth the horriblenss of the bus.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Skybore, you're travel experiences sound eerily similar to mine.
I did almost the same as you did, and ds has done the whole T in the park thing.
The old Yugoslavia strikes a chord, it was on the way to Greece.

[awaynboilyurheid]

I agreesecret would def not allow my 16 year old go on her own and I have daughters older than that have been to Paris with them in recent years and they get a lot of attention even with mum in tow! so def not , however you would need to convince her that its her idea not to want to go by bus and not you putting her off, in some way could'nt you make out airline travel more glamorous more likely to see celebs at airport than on a bus etc that might appeal more to 16 year old good luck !

[complexnumber]

I think the OP seems to be getting a really hard time here from some posters.

(Is it because he isn't a mum?)

[Lueji]

If she is going with a friend, I would let her go, but it would depend on their maturity.

I hope she enjoys Portugal. :) biased

[Gerrof]

at the thought of the Irish guy with the big willy.

[secretscwirrels]

TSC which Irish guy? How big? How do you know?

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Liam Neeson?

[Skybore]

Ha! I just got it, was called taken with Liam Neeson right?

Toots7, you say her mum doesn't seem to mind how she travels and seems unconcerned. I think that outwardly to some I might also seem unconcerned when my DD's travel but I do worry and I am concerned. But I trust them to make the right decisions too, and credit them with common sense.

That said, age is just a number and I don't know your daughter. Through my work I've met some very immature 18 and 19 year olds, havent we all?

If my kids get pickpocketed, well, so would I if I'd been in their place because that's bad luck whatever measures you try to take. It's how they deal with the consequences that matters, whether it's stolen wallet, lost passport, missed flight/train/bus, get lost, get chatted up, and so on.

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

Let her go. It's Europe, not the back of beyond! What's the worst that can happen? She misses a connecting bus and gets the next one? She needs to spend the night in Paris and so finds a hotel? I think it's great that your daughter is so confident and independent that she wants to do this. You should be proud of her.

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

5foot5 - just to show the other side of the debate, I've lived and worked all over the world, London, Madrid, the US, India, went off on a gap year to the far east at 18 - you get the picture. I have never been mugged, never had my passport stolen, never been abducted.

This is Paris - not Kabul, not Johannesburg! Stop scare mongering! Agreed, you've been unlucky but this is not the experience of the vast majority of people.

[hellsbells76]

I don't think it's got anything to do with him 'not being a mum' - I've certainly seen plenty of overprotective mothers get similar short shrift or worse on here (remember the one who wouldn't let her teenage DS get the bus to a diving club in the same town?)

[AmberLeaf]

I agree complexnumber.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I think whenever she does something like this for the first time it is going to be worrying for you. If she is a mature sensible 16 year old I would let her do it, but still worry that is the lot of a parent. Actually Paris is probably one of the least bad places to start think of my own trip behind the iron curtain to Moscow and then overnight sleeper train the St Petersburg (or Leingrad as it was then) at the age of 16.
I first travelled to Paris alone on the old Victoria to Paris boat train so changing at Newhaven and Dieppe when I was 13. I'm sure my parents were terrified.

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

Have you and she researched the route? Why not do this together and look at where there might be problems and discuss those and how to deal with them?

Talking through the details will help you and her actually quantify the journey and may help her decide whether she wants to travel by coach.

[exoticfruits]

I wouldn't call a coach trip in Europe, with one change, a more exciting adventure, secretswirrels, my reasoning for doing it was that she would be confident with the more exciting adventures she can have, as an adult in just over 12 months time.

[cees]

Judging by what I'd get up at 16 and with a friend in tow, er no not a hope would my daughter be allowed to get the coach. Direct flight would be her only option in this house.
YANBU

[BMW6]

Going against the majority here - I'd go for the direct flight. I'd be worried to death otherwise.

[mylot]

Depends on her. I would have been able to change coaches and stay out of trouble. Some wouldn't.

[Slipshodsibyl]

It's reasonable to request that she waits another year or so to travel independently . Suggest to her that the two of you visit Paris for a weekend together? My daughters have grown up in a number if countries and travel to and from boarding school but I wouldn't be happy with this just yet, even though she will probably be fine.

[jollygoose]

my mate and I won a short break in Paris when I was 16, we went by train and had wonderful time. We stayed in the attic of a guest house where I saw a bidet for the first time, however was unable to use it as the landlady kept all her pats of butter around the inside rim. We weremost amused.

[exoticfruits]

It isn't about you BMW6. If everyone took that view their DCs would never do anything- they would be safe, but it isn't a life.