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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why this Mother was eye rolling over my comments to my DC.

128 replies

Goldenbear · 12/04/2013 14:17

I was at a supermarket this morning and was trying to choose some yogurts for my DC. DS picks up some that are laden with sugar. So I said, 'no not those they have too much sugar in them, what about these instead?'. Cue lots of eye rolling from a new Mother nearby. She picked up something more sugary for herself so I don't think she was in agreement with me. I'd seen her from the start pushing her newborn baby in a supermarket car seat style trolley, the baby was wailing and wailing and couldn't have been older than 2 weeks. When i first saw the newborn crying and crying i felt sorry for the baby but then remembered how difficult those first weeks were and so stopped judging. However, after the yoghurt judgment I did feel that she was hardly in a position to judge my 'preciousness', considering her very young baby was wailing the whole way around the shop and she wouldn't pick it up. I heard her say things to the 2 week old intermittently like, 'you're not having a good day today are you?'

I knew she was a new Mum because there was a nappy promotion on in the store and I heard her tell the shop assistant that the baby girl was her first.

AIBU in thinking you keep the eye rolling to yourself given the circumstances?

OP posts:

KitchenandJumble · 12/04/2013 18:46

I agree with other posters that some mutual judging was going on. You judged her, she judged you. Now you're even.

So she rolled her eyes. Hardly the crime of the century.

Or perhaps she wasn't even rolling her eyes at your comment. She might have been thinking of something else entirely, through her fog of exhaustion.

In any case, give her a break, why don't you? She's a brand new mother, probably massively sleep deprived and hormonal. Think of the sisterhood of motherhood. Or something like that.

Hissy · 12/04/2013 18:47

OP, your child is called Tarquin, or Ocado isn't it?

And you loud parented didn't you?

KitchenandJumble · 12/04/2013 18:48

Oh, and to all those who practice performance parenting. Please don't stop. You have provided me with so much free entertainment over the years. Long may it continue.

Ledkr · 12/04/2013 18:48

So because her two week old baby was crying around a supermarket she isn't in a position to judge you for not buying sugar laden yogurts
That doesn't even make sense sorry.
You sound a tax preoccupied with everyone else's business to be honest next time get on with your boring shopping.

soverylucky · 12/04/2013 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yellowtip · 12/04/2013 18:50

What on earth is the issue with judging? I love judging. I judge all the time.

DrGarnettsEasterMixture · 12/04/2013 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/04/2013 18:59

inside I'm judging

ZenNudist · 12/04/2013 19:02

I'm too focused on my own business in a supermarket to concern myself with what other people do. You clearly have too much time on your hands. Also sounds like you were stalking the poor woman.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/04/2013 19:04

I'll bet this wasn't a Waitrose?

JulieCarp · 12/04/2013 19:15

OP in 3 years time she will be hauling her toddler away from Peppa Pig yogurts and insisting that rice cakes are a nice snack - dont fret we have all judged when we had PFB and thought I will never do that and then we end up with teenagers who eat quavers for breakfast.

Not worth worrying about.

Original poster

Goldenbear · 12/04/2013 19:16

How does it sound like I was stalking her, I was trying to avoid her and her crying newborn? She was following me around, not with any intent just that we happened to be looking at similar things. I would have happily left her alone, if only she'd done the same and left me to my business.

I am sleep deprived and so well understand that slightly hazy feeling but it doesn't make me roll my eyes and nosey into peoples' conversations with their DC.

I have lots to do all of the time and a 'hobbie' but probably not as much of a 'life' as some on here I would imagine.

OP posts:

ConfusedPixie · 12/04/2013 19:20

You were both being judgey. Non-issue really! I'm not sure why you're so bothered about it. Thoguh the picking up chocolate mousse instead of a sugary yoghurt has me chuckling

seeker: You snurk at the rice cakes in the treat jar, but my 2yo charge loves rice cakes. I really don't know why but they are her favourite food item! I take them to work to snack on (used to have bread, now no gluten so I have rice cakes) and she will root through my bag to find them and hide them under the sofa for later if I don't stop her! "Pixie has rice cakes today, yeah? R can have rice cakes after lunch?" is the first thing she says to me in the morning

lljkk · 12/04/2013 19:20

I am ace at eye-rolling, terrific for winding teenagers up.

I can't help but thing that other mum in OP hadn't slept properly in previous 2 weeks and was probably on the verge of hysterical nervous breakdown over anything, including people who just cope better than she felt just then.

Chottie · 12/04/2013 19:23

I'm just surprised you posted about this actually :) .........

Toasttoppers · 12/04/2013 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IYoniWantToBeWithYou · 12/04/2013 19:24

It doesn't make you roll your eyes or nosy in on peoples conversations? But you admitted you were listening to her conversations and judging her first....

lydiamama · 12/04/2013 19:25

Just do not bother to pay attention to these things, you should forget everyones eyerolling faster than you can say one, two, three, or you will waste your life

Original poster

Goldenbear · 12/04/2013 19:30

It's not smug it's thinking out load that she heard. Not so much a loud proclaimation about the excessive sugar in the yoghurts, more a, 'There's quite a lot of sugar in those.' Is that really offensive, boastful- I don't get it? I'm questioning myself as in should I be getting this crap for them and then getting more crap for them in the cake aisle. Am I not very good at being a parent if I don't set them up with good idea of healthy foods and not so healthy foods.

OP posts:

JulieCarp · 12/04/2013 19:35

You are over thinking this - let it go. I mean that in a nice way OP.

Original poster

Goldenbear · 12/04/2013 19:36

I judged her when she came into the store after me as the baby was really wailing and I felt it needed to be picked up, then I had a word with myself and got away from the situation but i wasnt near her or looking at her or eye rollling. Next thing I know she was eye rolling at the yoghurts.

All the other things I overheard because we were next to each other when the shop assistant stopped us about the nappy promotion.

OP posts:

JulieCarp · 12/04/2013 19:40

Am I the only one who just gets on with their shopping

LadyBeagleEyes · 12/04/2013 19:42

No, not just you Julie.
I've clearly been using supermarkets wrong for years.

Original poster

Goldenbear · 12/04/2013 19:44

No you're right Julie- I am over thinking this.

OP posts:

Original poster

Goldenbear · 12/04/2013 19:47

sainsburys.

OP posts:

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