I'll try and keep this as brief as possible.
It was my birthday at the weekend. My DH is best man at his friends wedding next month and therefore took charge of stag party duties. He organised a day out at the coast leaving early morning on my birthday and coming home the following day in the afternoon. Although he organised it to fall on my birthday, I understood that getting a date so all the grooms friends could attend and I didn't make a fuss at all.
So birthday morning comes around and yet again, no present (he hasn't 'had the money' to buy me one for about 5years). I was kind of expecting it however I suppose my hopes were raised as I thought because he was off for the day he would have made an effort this year. He didnt. He got up, got dressed and left just after 7am....and that was the last I heard from him. He didnt text or call all day. Maybe I should have texted him but I suppose I was expecting him to since it was my birthday. My SILs and some friends came round for a glass of wine that night, most of whom had DPs out on this stag, and they were all (without exception) receiving texts and phonecalls throughout the night.
So it comes down to this really, AIBU to be upset that despite me not making a fuss over his date choice for the day out and lack of present again he didn't think to text or phone to see if I was having a nice day, to check if our 5DC were ok, to wish me a good night (he knew friends were coming round). AIBU to feel really hurt that my friends were all receiving texts and I had to sit there and laugh it off? He thinks I'm overreacting and asking too much of him and "nothing he does will ever be good enough". I feel that's his way of turning around on me, but he does have the gift of making me doubt myself.
That was actually really long, sorry. We just have problems and I feel like the lack of effort sums up why. He doesn't agree, he thinks I expect too much of him.
So AIBU?? 
AIBU?
DH, My Birthday and The Stag Night
Justtheonemore · 11/04/2013 07:57
If my OH had done that his life would have been a misery on his return, but he wouldn't. We've also been together 13 years and He's another non-doer of birthdays, but knows i do. I'd have got a kiss and a happy b'day before he left, a card from him and dd that they might have made, a phone call through the day, and he'd have probably left a couple of bottles of cava with the girls. Skint is no excuse, A big kiss and brew in bed to acknowledge the day is free, a text to ask if you're having a good time with the girls is pennies and I get the feeling you'd have been happy with that.
To be honest he doesn't sound like a keeper babe- you deserve more, we all do, you need to let him know this kind of selfish behaviour isn't normal in a relationship and you need to understand that too.
Think about your future and how you want it to be and like Fozzie said choose a path which is good for you. good luck and lots of love 
I'm not going to tell you to leave him-this can only be your decision, only you and he know whats going on in your relationship.
But, I am really saddened that you seem to think so little of yourself that you continue to put up with a lonely relationship. You aren't trapped, leaving a relationship like that is tough (believe me I've done it) it's the hardest thing in the world to walk away from what you know, but your choice is simple, stay and accept the relationship as it is (it's v v unlikely to change) or walk away, it would be hard but it does get better. 5 years after leaving a loveless miserable relationship (similar to yours) I've met the love of my life and am married with a baby on the way. It was hard , but well well worth all those tears and scary lonely nights.
You deserve better, but only you can decide which path is best to follow 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
OP, this reminds me of my father and my parent's relationship.
Forty odd years they were married and in that time I have never seen [or heard of] my DF buying DM a birthday present or organising any form of celebration for her. Nothing. Not even a bunch of service station carnations or a home cooked spaghetti bolagnaise.
And this goes for wedding anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine's Day... you get the picture.
Many reasons for this; he can't see the value in it, has little empathy for the fact that his DW might value a gift or small acknowledgement of her worth to him, he is a bit tight with money anyway, felt resentful towards DW and like hell he was going to do something nice for her...
DPs finally got divorced this year. This issue is one of many small 'drip drip drip' of longstanding resentments that finally got the better of a 40 year union.
OP you're not being demanding or oversensitive. It is not great that your DH did not even think to ring or text you whilst away. As you saw before you with your friend's DHs, partners usually contact each other at least once when they are away overnight. It is completely normal and natural, just to say hi and check that each other are okay. It is because they love and care about each other and want to demonstrate this.
It is soul destroying to have partner who does not care about or observe these small niceties that oil the wheels of a harmonious relationship.
It is especially upsetting when a choice is made not to observe a partner's birthday, the one day of the year when it should be all about them and their nearest and dearest are meant to give a shit.
and 
for you OP.
Please don't end up like my DM, 40 years of disregard and disrespect [on both sides tbf] ending in a bitter and acrimonious ending.
Perhaps try and speak to your DH about how this made you feel. If he still doesn't get it would he consider couple counselling so the issue can be explored in more depth between you. If he won't consider counselling I'm not sure how you can move forward from here tbh...
But good luck OP
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should read final post before writing nearly that same thing...
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