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AIBU?

To ask 9yr old DS to put 2yr old DD to bed so often?

63 replies

NickNacks · 06/04/2013 19:54

He's the only one she doesn't scream the bloody house down for.

DD is very much a mummy's girl and when I put her to bed she screams and cries for me to come back and it takes a good 45 minutes to settle her.

With DH she is much the same, still cries for me and DH feels rejected when all she calls for is me when he's being so lovely to her.

DS1 takes her to bed and she's a completely different child. I do her teeth give her a kiss in the hall and he tucks her in, reads her story and leaves! I hear her cheerfully say 'Bye, DS!'

WIBU to ask him to do it a lot for the next few weeks? DH and I will still do it every few nights but if everyone is happy with this? I really don't know!

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KobayashiMaru · 07/04/2013 12:30

she didn't say it was a chore.

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MordecaiAndRigby · 07/04/2013 12:31

I'm sure the 9yr old much prefers this arrangement compared to listening to his sister bawling and having stressed out parents.

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MordecaiAndRigby · 07/04/2013 12:32

It's good bonding too.

As well as educational benefits with the reading out loud.

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mrsjay · 07/04/2013 12:32

they are not sitting on their arses he wants to do it it i s a nice thing for him to do no different from a child helping a younger sibling on with their coat or shoes or whatever, or is that lazy parenting too

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LittleEdie · 07/04/2013 12:34

Childcare if they were on their own in the house with the child - no. Childcare with the parents in another room - why not?

shellbu the way you say that makes you sound a bit nasty.

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mrsjay · 07/04/2013 12:34

It's good bonding too.

As well as educational benefits with the reading out loud.

that I do think children can be quite self centered sometimes and think the world revolves around them

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McNewPants2013 · 07/04/2013 12:34

Bedtime in this house feels a chore. I have gave up reading stories ect when both my little darlings are jumping about.

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WorraLiberty · 07/04/2013 12:36

DS loves doing it

2yr old is happy

You're happy

Your DH is happy

How can you be unreasonable?

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NickNacks · 07/04/2013 12:37

Thank you for all the responses.

I had a chat with DS last night (as I was seeing him to bed!) about his thoughts on the situation. Did he mind and was he happy doing it etc. he said he loves doing it, it makes him happy that she likes him taking her to bed and best of all, he likes reading the books in her room as otherwise he wouldn't get a chance to. I reiterated to him (as I do almost every night!) that if every he didn't want to he only had to say and dad or I would do it, no problem.

I won't be paying him. We don't pay our children to do any chores, they get treats and spending money where necessary but it isn't directly linked to chores. I believe helping out with chores such as laying table, emptying dishwasher, tidying up should be done by everyone age appropriately, not because they get paid.

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mrsjay · 07/04/2013 12:40

what a lovely son you have nicknacks his sister is lucky to have him

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LittleEdie · 07/04/2013 12:41

Aaah, that's nice .

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AcrylicPlexiglass · 07/04/2013 12:42

Fully agree with those who have said that as long it is perceived by him as a pleasure rather than an obligation it is a win-win situation. As a mum to teens and a toddler, I do think that such things can easily turn sour, sadly, but unless and until it does go for it! I find my teens are rather fair weather friends to their much littler sister- they find her adorable and hilarious some of the time but run a mile when toddler bossiness and tantrums appear. I think that's as it should be really.

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ChristmasJubilee · 07/04/2013 12:59

My ds2 (15) sometimes (about once a week) puts his little brother (6) to bed. He does his shower, pyjamas, teeth and story. He has been doing it for about 3 years. He also, occasionally, picks him up from after school club, takes him to the park or watches him whilst I pop out. He has babysat but was paid for that.

Ds2 gets £10 a week as opposed to ds1's £5 as ds1 (mild s/n's) does not help around the house. He also adds little extras to my shopping list which the others don't. Given the choice ds2 would choose to spend all his time on his computer not to do it but would prefer to look after his brother to doing house work or walking the dog.

I don't think it is unreasonably to expect children, if able, to help around the house.