To stop breastfeeding cold turkey

[gingertessa]

My DD is 6 months old and I've just gone back to work; I will be full time but am currently using annual leave to do a phased return. My plan was to switch her to bottles of formula in the day whilst she's at nursery, then bf morning and night. But after taking bottles of ebm with no issue for months, she suddenly became a complete bottle refuser. My DP tried and nursery staff have tried, but at best she'll take an ounce from the bottle; I think she's just waiting for me at the end of the day. The good news is that she's taken to solids really quickly and now eats three meals a day with sips of water from a cup. Meanwhile, I'm having to express at work for comfort, a situation I really don't want to be in as its inconvenient, and I've got a course coming up in May when I'll be away from DD for two nights. Also she's up several times a night still for feeds and the tiredness is crippling at work, if I wasn't bf at least DP could help with the night feeds.

I think it's time to stop breastfeeding, and the only way that seems open to me is to leave her with her Dad for a night and go cold turkey, seeing as trying to phase out gradually did not work. Logically I'm ready to stop but emotionally I'm finding it really tough, and it feels so cruel to stop abruptly. So tell me, AIBU to do this?

[Depressdgrace]

She's totally refusing everything thou

[BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil]

Can you express less and less to relieve to milk that’s there and counter the supply/demand to taper off- then freeze the ebm and use it in baby food? I used to use mine to make mashed sweet potato etc when weaning.

[Depressdgrace]

She just tips cups over and bangs them :(

[Depressdgrace]

Thanks I'm still expressing and mixing it with the formula. Just not physically feeding her. My hearts broke as she's destressed she doesn't no what's going on. But I know it's better for her. Thanks for your reply

[Cheerbear23]

Oh ha ha! Zombie alert!

[DoneLikeAKipper]

Don’t worry May is a long time away

Well not for the op, it was five and a half years ago now

[Cheerbear23]

"Unless you want a 25 yo screaming 'Bitty,

This doesn’t happen

Don’t worry May is a long time away

[DoneLikeAKipper]

Depressdgrace

It would probably be better to start a new thread, this one is rather old. What bottles are you using? Are you just using the ‘teat’ topped ones, or have you tried other types, possibly like this

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01591NZII/ref=asc_df_B01591NZII57873050/?hvlocphy=1007249&linkCode=df0&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310223050498&creative=22110&creativeASIN=B01591NZII&th=1&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=m&hvtargid=pla-384205370612&hvrand=4684139494131918723&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[Depressdgrace]

Did this work for you going cold turkey? I'm currently trying it. She has refused bottles and she's 8 months :(

[FierceBadIggi]

Concretelephant - well you were typing one-handed, not a fair fight!

[Beckamaw]

Another one who stopped completely at 6 months, due to medication. I have thyrotoxicosis - all meds could mess with DDs heart and thyroid. I was too ill to refuse the meds, unfortunately. I was gutted.

I expressed small amounts when necessary, usually in the bath. It took about 3 weeks to settle completely.
DD was fine about the whole thing, she wasn't keen on formula initially, but she coped admirably once the other option was unavailable.

Good luck, I hope it all goes fine for you.

[gingertessa]

I think my next step will be to stop feeding her in the daytime even when I'm with her, continuing morning and night feeds, and see how we go with that. We'll definitely try ebm from a cup as well. It's good to know that two nights apart doesn't necessarily mean the end of bf.

[Mosschopz]

I did it at six months. My DS wouldn't take from a cup or bottle and although it did feel harsh it was the only way we could move out of what had become a horrendous rut. We had 2 days max of stress before he got the hang and took to the bottle, knowing there was no alternative. I didn't get mastitis, cabbage and paracetamol sorted the painful boobs out and after a week we were in a new routine. An example of short term pain for long time gain. He's 2.6 now and fine.

[Suzieismyname]

dd2 was exclusively bf until nearly 6 months and then on one bedtime bottle of formula once she'd started on solids (formula replacing the expressed bottle she'd had since 2/3 months).
I had to spend 3 nights in hospital with appendicitis when she was about 7 months old. I fortunately managed to borrow an electric pump in the hospital so I could keep my supply going (I chucked the milk away). It dwindled to almost nothing by the third night but soon got back to normal once I got back home to DD2. We managed to keep going with the breastfeeding until she got to 12 months.
So you might be able to keep going after your trip away in May.

[WeAllHaveWings]

Agree with a lot of above.

I returned to work when ds was 6 mths. Continued to bf in morning and evening until 1 year.

Never expressed and boobs adjusted quickly and never felt overly full. Ds had formula from a tommy tippee cup during the day as never took to bottles.

Gave up abruptly after he gave me two nasty bites in the same day. Think he was more ready to give up than me as he never asked for it again. I found it hard cos I knew it would be my last time to bf ever.

Two nights apart? if you need to, express a little for relief morning and night. try dd on cups of either expressed milk or formula now. As ds only had one a day I used ready made cartons a room temp to save all the faffing about. If she doesn't take it before you go it's possible she'll take from your dh when she as no other option.

[Nicolaeus]

Oh and Ive spent a couple of nights away from him and sometimes DH puts him to bed if Im late back and its not been a problem for DS or DH or me. DS knows not to expect a Bf from DH so accepts formula, something he wont do from me in the evening.

[Nicolaeus]

I went back to work when DS was 6 months. He refused the many bottles we tried but did accept free-flowing sippy cups (bit messy for a few weeks but he did drink)

I never expressed just BF morning and evening and in the night. Sometimes at the weekend when I was desperate for him to nap. Of his own accord he dropped the morning feed around 8 months. He is now 18 months and still just has the evening feed (never asks for it at other times). We night weaned at 13 months without a single tear (much to my surprise)

[iamjustlurking]

Gave up reading all the posts, all I can offer is my experience. I had to go cold turkey with DD2 as I had reached the point I needed to stop BF she hadn't.

She survived she 15 now I survived and had another DC that I could reduce the feeds until stopping totally as I did with DC1.

Have to agree withJamie and wish we were all in the position to offer the "perfect" solution for our DC unfortunately real life isn't like that

[FrequentFlyerRandomDent]

Up to you really. Not an AIBU.

If you do go cold turkey, posters have mentioned risk of mastitis, however also keep in mind that your milk hormones will also suddenly drop.

This is sometimes associated with feeling down/blue. It is normal. So please do remember to be extra kind in yourself. Do speak to your HV if you feel really down.

I hope it all goes well, whatever you chose to do.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

What startail says. I work full time with a bottle-refusing 10mo DS - he started at nursery part-time when he was just over five months, taking the odd sip of expressed milk from a Tommee Tippee cup. He'd just wait for me for full feeds, with no ill-effects before he was weaned at six months, and now he just eats like a piggy at nursery and feeds from me during the night, with no need at all for me to express during the day especially since the little bugger won't take it anyway. It's honestly quite doable and a lovely thing to be able to continue doing when you have to spend so much time away from them If you go over to the Breast and Bottle Feeding board there would probably be better advice about going away for a couple of days, but I'm confident that would be absolutely maintainable too.

[Startail]

As for bottles DD would take juice from a cup and ate well, but bottles never not even off very skilled nurses.

[ilovecolinfirth]

Be careful. I've suffered mastitis several times and its awful.

My son refused the bottle and I stopped feeding him between 8am and 3pm, but offered him feeding cup through the day. He wouldn't take it at first, but after a week or two he would take it. I think it makes sense to ignore the bottle completely. My son barely bat an eyelid over not being given the breast. It's so much easier for them not to take the breast when they're getting solids.

Good luck. X

[Startail]

why stop, why not feed night and morning, work or no work.

BFing is amazingly adaptable, you can miss days, feed more, feed less honestly it isn't all or nothing.

DD2 wouldn't have let me stop at six months or even a year because she won't drink milk, formula or cows for anyone, aged 12 she still doesn't.

[sleeplessbunny]

Have you tried getting your DD to drink her milk from a tippee cup instead? My DD was a total bottle refuser but took to tippee cups well at around 6 months. It was a lifesaver for me, I was in a similar position to yours and I felt rather trapped by it. We ended up doing morning and night bfeeds until she was about 1 which was lovely.

[MummytoKatie]

Ignoring the whole bf - should you / shouldn't you thing - and the risk of mastitis I think it would hurt like hell so I wouldn't for that reason. When you first go back to work you need to be nice to yourself.

I had a bottle refuser. She started taking cups at about 7 / 8 months all of a sudden after refusing for ages.