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AIBU?

Dogs and babies

43 replies

DowntonTrout · 03/04/2013 20:09

My DD and her DH have a young/year old staffie.

DD is 26 weeks pregnant with her first baby.

We just had a conversation about her putting a travel cot in the living room with some sort of cover so that she can leave the baby in the room and the dog wont be able to get in the cot with it.

I said that she mustn't leave the baby in the room with the dog at all. A staffie could easily rip through the side of a travel cot and if it sees the baby moving and doesn't know what it is it could go for it. A cover wouldn't provide any protection.

She says the dog won't go for the baby. She KNOWS it wouldn't.

Firstly AIBU for interfering or giving my opinion anyway. Secondly AIBU about the dog? Personally I wouldn't leave a baby in a room with any dog. We are not on the best of terms and are only just beginning to rebuild our relationship, therefore I am already treading on eggshells and am hoping to be a non- judgemental and supportive grandmother.

OP posts:

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countrykitten · 04/04/2013 16:23

YANBU and I am a dog person with 5. Never,ever take that risk no matter what the breed - and Staffs get a bad rap as they are lovely family dogs if owned by lovely people (the same as all dogs really).

Ours are drooling, soppy, lazy beasts an I would not leave them alone with a child. Why would you?

Fairydogmother · 04/04/2013 16:07

I can only agree with the comments already mentioned. Staffys are generally amazing family dogs but no dog should ever be alone with any child.

I have 2 jack Russell's and I'm pregnant so we've started a programme of getting them used to being a bit more independent etc so a baby isn't so much of a shock to them. I found gates invaluable when I got the 2nd one too so would def advise looking at the high ones as already suggested

ClutchingPearls · 04/04/2013 16:04

I have 5 dogs and 3 DC. All my dogs are bomb proof, they wouldn't do anything. They all have reliable, placid and very tolerant natures. Anything could happen and they wouldn't bat an eyelid.

BUT I wouldn't be willing to guarantee that when a child is involved. No matter how sure I am, its not worth the risk.

All dogs and children split into different rooms if I need to go up stairs. If I'm taking the washing out the machine the dogs know to go into their room/outside without being told. Absolutely no reason why not to split them up, every reason to.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/04/2013 15:59

Children can hurt dogs, dogs can hurt children. Anyone who gambles with this is very foolish. FWIW Brittany Spears (allegedly, according to the tabloids) has had two dogs with broken legs at the hands of her children. It works both ways.

SneakyNinja · 04/04/2013 15:50

I wouldn't leave any animal alone with a baby. Especially one that could essentially be competing for the "baby role" as this one seems to have taken on.

maninawomansworld · 04/04/2013 15:37

Never leave ANY dog of ANY breed unsupervised with a child EVER.
No if's, no but's, NO EXCEPTIONS.

I breed and train gundogs so I know of what I speak.

SquirrelNuts · 03/04/2013 22:54

YANBU my dogs arent allowed upstairs in the playroom or in the living room whilst DCs are up, 1 of my dog is a small cocker she was 10 months old when my DS was born so she has grown up with him and loves both my DCs to pieces but i dont leave them alone together more because i dont trust my DCs not to hurt her

DowntonTrout · 03/04/2013 22:15

No not on the defensive, although I do have to be very careful of anything that might be perceived as a criticism.

I hope she will change her mind when the baby is born.

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Signet2012 · 03/04/2013 22:11

I would just leave it for now. The chances are once the baby is here she will be super vigilant and realise. If not then broach it again.

HoneyDragon · 03/04/2013 22:01

Thanks. I was rather hoping she was just on the defensive, but obviously not. It's not fair to but the burden of impeccable behaviour on the dog

I'm sure someone mentioned a joint sure start and dogs trust leaflet has been done. It may be worth trying to source one.

EuroShaggleton · 03/04/2013 21:48

I'm also a dog lover (grew up with 2) and I know that you never leave a dog alone with a baby.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 03/04/2013 21:44

DF has some of these for her high jumping Jack Russell and the baby. I never knew they existed before I saw one at hers.

MajaBiene · 03/04/2013 21:44

God, don't print out this thread!

I completely agree with you, but you have told her now - if your relationship is a bit rocky anyway then she probably didn't want to back down in front of you. I love my mum but once she starts banging on about DS needing a hat or whatever then I refuse to put one on him even if there's a chance she is right

You have sown the seeds with her now, hopefully she will rethink about the cot and the MW/HV will probably talk to her about safety too. If once the baby is born she actually does start leaving it alone with the dog then maybe push a bit harder then.

HelgatheHairy · 03/04/2013 21:43

downton sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you had, just some people on this thread have recommended telling your dd again.

Best case scenario is your dd is deliberately winding you up. You mentioned you were rebuilding your relationship - is there a possibility she might be telling you about the dog JUST to worry you? Or possibly as a sort of test to see if you'll let the matter drop?

From my POV with my mothers attitude to my dog I KNOW it would be the easiest way to wind her up, to tell her I was going to be letting the dog alone with the baby! (And the the way she goes on I've almost been tempted just to see her implode!)

Fairylea · 03/04/2013 21:36

Yanbu.

Print this thread off and show her.

She knows how the dog is with her. She doesn't know how it will be with babies. Or a baby in it's house.

And I'm another dog lover. Was brought up with 3 of them.

I would still never ever leave a dog with a baby, travel cot or not.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 03/04/2013 21:35

Sorry DowntonTrout I don't mean to make your fear any worse or be scaremongery - I guess I just wanted to validate your worry. Might she consider reading that family's story? I like that site a lot and have used it with my own DCs and my pupils (I'm a teacher).

DowntonTrout · 03/04/2013 21:34

Oh I haven't gone on, I just said "you won't leave the dog and baby in the room together will you, it could rip through the side of the cot, " which is when she said that her dog would never touch the baby.

But I will remind her, maybe after baby is born, not to leave him unsupervised. That's all I can do.

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HelgatheHairy · 03/04/2013 21:21

YANBU but if you go on and on about it you will alienate her. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant and my golden retriever is 11 months. They will NEVER be left together but my mother goes on and on about how I need to keep the dog outside (not going to happen). When I mentioned about changing my car so baby and dog can be carried in same car she started telling me about how I can't and the dog can never be in the car with the baby. I'm not planning on putting them in the back seat together!

DowntonTrout · 03/04/2013 21:02

Reading that made me go cold missBetsey.

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MumOfTheMoos · 03/04/2013 20:54

I have a staffie and a one year old. Staffies are known as the nanny dog and they are generally great with kids but I do not leave them together unsupervised. End of.

Like someone says above, it's easier to take the dig with you when you leave the room - so if I need to go into the utility room, moodog comes with me.

LittleRedDinosaur · 03/04/2013 20:53

Cross posts with missy moo- completely agree

LittleRedDinosaur · 03/04/2013 20:52

YANBU at all but I appreciate this is a tricky situation and you'll have to tread very carefully to avoid a big falling out. Difficult. Maybe she'll re-think this of her own accord once she has a baby & her priorities completely change? I wouldn't do anything drastic until then but I also love dogs and would never leave my DD alone with one

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MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 03/04/2013 20:51

You have said your piece now, don't ask her health visitor to talk to her, my mother (who I no longer talk to) called mine and told her I wasn't feeding ds and the health visitor was obliged to tell me what she had said.

She is only 26 weeks pregnant, she will more than likely change her mind when the baby is here, I said hundreds of things and made lots of plans when pregnant with my first, most of which I realised was a stupid idea when ds arrived.

If you nag her or continuously mention it you will alienate her. Wait and see what she decides when the baby is here before mentioning it again.

Signet2012 · 03/04/2013 20:48

Unfortunately I had to get my beloved dog PTS when dd was 3 months old. (Ill health not related to dd arrival in any way)

He was a bit of a bugger but I had pretty strong feelings that he wouldn't bite her, he may run over her to get to the door if she was on the floor but I was pretty confident he wouldn't bite her.

I NEVER left him in the same room as her. Not once. He left the room with me each time even if I just popped in to the kitchen for a second.

As confident as I felt I would never ever trust a dog with a baby. You can't. Hope she sees sense soon.

wibblyjelly · 03/04/2013 20:44

Yanbu. My dsis rehomed her dog a year before my ds was born. I've said to dh I'm happy that he was gone before ds was born, as there is no way I would be able to trust it around ds. I'm sure her dog is lovely, but it just takes a split second for something to go wrong.

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