to feel insulted by this letter from the council and to go and "speak" to them about it?

[mateysmum]

OK Ladies, my first AIBU, but I have been stewing about this and want your wisdom please before I make an idiot of myself.
Background... I live in the UK with DS but DH lives and works abroad and has done for years. He is non resident for tax purposes and comes here every few weeks for a day or two. I am the sole owner of my home. Therefore I claim council tax allowance for a single person. I recently moved house and notified the council. On Sat I received a letter from them querying why if I am living singly am I paying council tax from a joint account. (never been queried at the old house). Then what got me going was the following questions:

1. What is your relationship to the joint bank account holder?
   
2. If this is a spouse are you still in a relationship and if not why do you continue to use a joint bank account?
   3)Where does the joint bank account holder live?
   
   Now I know that benefit fraud is common and that as a tax payer I should be grateful that the council are trying to stop people cheating the system, but I just found the whole tone insulting - especially ? 2. None of their business. It also asks me to reply straight away. If I wanted to cheat I could easily have paid from my personal account and no problems.
   
   So AIBU. Should I just meekly send a reply answering all their questions or do I politely let them know that their letter could be "improved"...
   
   TIA.

[ShellyBoobs]

Bridget that is beyond the pale.

You should be banned for that disgusting attack on OP, not just have your post deleted!

[Fairenuff]

He doesn't have to pay tax to a country he doesn't live in.

Neither do you Bridget

HTH

[mateysmum]

I would thank you not to use totally abusive language Bridget. I have reported your post to mumsnet towers.

I do not need to justify myself to people like you. Ever thought that the reason DH does not visit that often is because he works so hard he rarely has the time or opportunity.

[reluctantmover]

oh and Bridget, if you think what Mateysmum's husband is doing, are you aware than millions goes abroad every year in UK child benefit firstly to those no longer entitled to it (many former work permit holders and former students continue to draw it out of UK bank accounts as their fail to be honest and stop their claims when they leave the UK) and secondly to those who are entitled to it such as the children of EU migrant workers who remain in the other EU countries (often double claiming in the EU countries they live in, no way for the UK to check they are not double claiming) and finally to those "ghost" EU migrant workers' children who don't even exist but the UK has no means of checking they don't exist!!!! Oh and there is also a big scam on claiming working tax credit / child tax credit too with "ghost" EU migrant workers.

[MooMooSkit]

How frickin rude bridget! You sound like a rude yourself speaking to people like that for no good reason!

I think the reply seems fine btw and I do understand the letters do seem a bit eek, I had a similar one, when i was with my first husband (we are divorced now) we decided to live apart to see if it would get our marriage back on track but were still married and i was still using my married name and I had a letter asking about the circumstances, I just replied and they were fine about it, think they just need to investigate if things look funny and tbh it obviously did with me anyway, shame the living apart from a while never worked tho :D

[aldiwhore]

OP from where I'm standing you're being honest, you're draft letter is completely transparent and you are hiding nothing, therefore you should not ever be judged as someone who lies about their DH not living with them.

If you are honest you are doing nothing wrong.

Even if at first it seems unfair that YOU personally not only benefit from your DH's earnings that he pays no tax on, you also get to claim discounts because he's not there full time, it is completely above board and perfectly acceptable, seeing as you ARE the only adult living in your home!!


Bridget words fail.

[OliviaMumsnet]

Evening all
A handy link to our talk guidelines
Thanks

[mateysmum]

It's been an interesting day Ladies.

Off to bed now with a soothing book

night night

[ThingummyBob]

Night OP.

Fwiw I've just done some thinking and I have actually evaded tax in more than 17 countries that I have visited in my life. I've never paid a single penny in tax in any of them. I even had medical treatment in one of them, and I'm sure I once visted a public library in Spain

I feel so ashamed now I've realised, this thread has made me feel like scum

[TomDudgeon]

I share a bank account with my mum who lives in another country and guess what she visits sometimes. Thank fuck for the fact I live my dh so pay full council tax anyway otherwise according some people on this thread I would be in trouble

[Lockedout434]

Shellyboobs

Why so aggressive?
The op hasn't been rude or horrid. She is discussing this in a rational way as I hoped I was ( sorry about the goady perception, it was typed with humour that didn't obviously come over)
BUT

I do live with someone he works away at the moment I pay full wack.
The op isn't on her own her husband still visits her at her uk address , it's not as if he is never in the country or they are estranged. He also did pay 50% as it came out of their joint account.

In the instance I am paying some of the ops council tax as mine and yours would be cheaper if she didn't claim. ( pennies I know but the principle is there)

I will back out of this now as there are differences that won't be reconciled and Bridget has scared me.
I still think you should pay 100% (just in case you forgotton my point)

[IneedAsockamnesty]

The difference is locked is your dh is having a temporary absence the OP's so far has been 10 years and quite likely to last at least anther 15 years

[Lockedout434]

Sock how do you know that?
I understood that the dh was a md of a company and the op has come back to the uk so her child could go to an independent school here. Dh is or was looking to come back to the uk eventually. He visits regularly and is still a part of the family.
The op appears to be well off, educated and actually rather nice that's why I think she should pay 100%.

I am not a stalker promise just looked back at the back posts

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Because I asked the op how long it was likely to continue for and she told me. She has also stated how long it had already been the case for.

A minimum of 10 years without break is not the sort of temp arrangement that would not qualify for the discount.

It does not matter if he is part of the family nor does it matter how educated she is.

If you do not live in a house then you do not live in it.