to get quite irritated with people who claim to have a 'phobia' of something when they really don't?

[extremepie]

Inspired by a spider thread on another part of the site [bugrin]

Ok, I know that a phobia is somewhat subjective and affects everyone differently but it really gets on my nerves when people claim that they 'have a phobia' of something when what they really mean is 'I'm a bit scared of X' or 'I really don't like X'.

It isn't the same thing!

For example, I have a friend who claims to have a 'spider phobia' - she says she finds it hard to put a glass over them and take them outside, she gets all itchy afterwards.

Compare that to me who has an 'actual' phobia of spiders - recently I was in hysterical tears because there was a HUGE spider in the kitchen and DH had gone out. I could not deal with it myself, I couldn't even go near it, I phoned my friend at 11pm and begged him to get out of bed and remove it because I didn't know what else to do. When that didn't work I put a frantic message on facebook to everyone who knew me to come and help me, I was desperate!

I just think that for every person who claims to have a phobia of something who doesn't really it makes people less, I dunno, tolerant and understanding of people who genuinely do.

Like people who would scare you 'for a laugh', thinking its funny to trap you in a room with 'X' or shove 'X' in your face and then being all 'oh, I didn't think you'd react that badly' when you have a panic attack!

AIBU?

Myshootfly me too. l think that although it is so statistically unlikely to get eaten by a shark it is just so horrific that even the slightest miniscule chance of it is just too much.
A poor man got eaten off the North Island of NZ a few weeks ago and we had just arrived there the day before. l think it was the first shark attack in living memory there or for a very very long time,tens of decades or whatever, but they weren't sure they actually shot the shark or sharks that did it as they found no bodies (they managed to retrieve the poor mans body) - guess what - people were still swimming along that stretch of coast the next day although the actual surrounding beach was closed for three days - l was like this > .

I'm afraid of echoes and there appears to be one in here.

A true phobia is an irrational fear that affects your ability to lead a normal day to day life. Someone with a fear of cats who can't leave the house in case the neighbour's cat is sitting on the wall has a 'proper' phobia. If someone can't go near a spider but can still live in a big house in the country with lots of spiders in it, (like my stepMIL) then they don't have a phobia, they are simply afraid of spiders.

I agree with what others have said though - that doesn't diminish the fact that people are afraid of all sorts of stuff to differing degrees, so I think the OP is being a little unreasonable to get irritated by them.

I am phobic of moths, I am also phobic of caves.

Put a moth in my room and I don't like it, I run about, I have a tantrum, if alone I shoo moth out, my skin crawls. It's irrational, it is fear, I am phobic. But it doesn't affect my day to day life.

Put me anywhere near a cave, mention a cave, suggest we go to a cave and I will probably stab you. I have nightmares about caves. I WORRY about caves. I have major anxiety (now) about the thought or suggestion or hint of a cave. I feel sick. If a cave is on TV I WILL be sick. I am phobic. It does affect my day to day life, randomly, but is on the mild end of extreme.

Both statement are true.

It is not a competition, but a sliding scale. Off to another thread before I'm sick.

I have massive sympathy for people who suffer majorly extreme phobias, seeing as one of mine is pretty mild and the other seems just daft. But they are both phobias.

I could not go pot holing. Ever. But I manage to avoid it.

I hate moths-in the house I have to shut the door on them. Outside, moths are fine. It's the flapping round my head I don't like.

I have a phobia of spiders (ooh, even typing the word gives me goose bumps!) but since having ds, as others have said, I've made a huge effort to address my fear a little, lest it be passed onto him. I know exactly what treatment I'd require to overcome my fear (it's my job to do it with others!) but NO WAY am I putting myself through that

Dh bought me a spider catcher for Xmas (!) and thinks I should just be able to 'get over' it if I try hard enough good job he doesn't do what I do for a living...

That said, my mum has a phobia of balloons (I know) and it is a full blown panic attack phobia, but no more a phobia than mine so OP I think you AB a bit U

I'm with Lynette.... I would leave my dc if there were rodents. I'd be gone out of the house like the wind. I've no problem with a spider though

I'm terrified of heights. I have a physical reaction to them and cannot overcome it. It's horrible when I can't go on stuff with the dc like rides or certain bridges etc. I've tried many times to do things and imagine I can overcome it but It doesn't work.
I've had to get off things mid go and the dc are mortified.
So I do pull a face when people say they have a phobia of heights and then abseil down a building g for charity.
I would literally die of a heart attack if I did that.

I have got a bit of a thing about spaghetti,can't eat it and struggle to be at table when others are eating
my it.we never ever have spat bol .it looks like worms, but I can man it if I have to e.g restaurant Tec.not a phobia.

So, if a proper phobia is something where you have absolutely no control and it is a serious affliction, I can understand how people can be terrified of non lethal or life threatening things. I don't understand how someone can be just frightened of spiders in the UK, where they can't kill you, or even do you much damage.

Zola If a phobia had any rational basis, it wouldn't be a phobia.

I know someone who has absolute terror at walking under a ladder. She knows it's irrational, but she just can't control her reaction. I reckon most phobias are set in childhood, eg something happens to a small child that really terrifies them because they haven't yet developed enough to be able to process their fear in a way that minimises what happened as an adult would.

Atually, thinking about it, the "phobia" that pisses me off the most is the one about needles.

There are people about who really do have that phobia, but so many people use it as an excuse when asked if they'd donate blood, for example, that it trivialises it. Then those who DO have this for real are often not believed because so many use it as an excuse not to do certain things.

I have many many many.... one of the weirdest is a phone phobia.

i absolutely freak out at the phone. have to have one ( a mobile) for emergencies but only EVER use texts.

even got soemone else to do my answermessage, yet people still dont leave text messages.

the rare times ive HAd to phone people (official or emergency stuff) i have to have a stiff drink first, count 1-mississippi-2-mississippi- etc, and steel myself. then my voice comes over so twittery and shaky no one can understand what im saying anyway!

i jsut think if its important theyll leave a message and an email/text number.

i have afriend whos got a phobia of heights and didnt tell me when we went out and i parked in a multi-storey carpark. poor thing.

Whether they are truly phobias or not, I have serious issues with both heights and small, enclosed spaces. I had to have an MRI and took diazepam for it and still had to work really, really hard to keep from panicking throughout. Even the thought of something like potholeing/caving makes me feel ill. I dislike lifts for this reason, but the crappiness of my health has meant that I have had to get used to them because the stairs really are not an alternative in so many situations.

I have a horrible physical reaction to heights too. I get vertigo and shakey and tearful. H doesn't understand that I really, really struggle to climb up our stepladder. I cannot use the top two rungs on it at all. He got very annoyed at me while we were doing some decorating about this. I couldn't even hold the ladder (or watch) when he was using it at the top of the stairs. I can cross most bridges, but I often feel panicky and have to distract myself. And I worry irrationally about the children on them (but I hide this from them and H because it's not something I want to pass on).

I dislike spiders (completely irrationally) but it's nowhere near as bad or problematic. I did have to go to the ther side of the room when they brought out the tarantulas in an animal handling session and H was annoyed that I wouldn't come closer and even hold it. I actually couldn't have.

Wow, I am completely useless. Aren't I?

With regards to women having phobias possibly as a mechanism for rescue (by men), it's more likely that women experience a stronger sense of 'disgust' than men which develops in girls in adolescence but less strongly in boys. Disgust plays a role in many animal phobias such as spiders.

It is not fully understood why it develops but is suspected to be biological.

Therefore it's not necessarily social conditioning leading women to run screaming from spiders waiting to be rescued by big strong men, although there is a degree of social learning that goes on.

A phobia is defined as such if the fear affects your daily life for a period of at least 6 months and is treatable on the NHS. They broadly fit established themes (mainly animals, nature, blood/injury/injection and dental) but button phobia is also relatively common. About 6% of the population fit the criteria for

OK I don't like dogs, am terrified of them. I cannot pass a dog that's unattended, at all. I won't go to the park on my own because of dogs.

If I do have to have a dog encounter, say, pass a dog on the pavement not on a lead then my heart races, mouth goes dry, sweaty palms. Then after it's all over I have to have a sit down.

Am I allowed to call it a phobia?

(sorry) ...phobia at any one time and phobias don't go away on their own.

CBT is effective for phobia so if you are struggling with one ask your gp for a referral.

Here endeth the phobia lesson :)

I have issues with phones too. I hate phoning people. I have to psych myself up to phone anyone (except H, usually, but that's on as I have to do it so often). This includes phoning utility companies and such like. And I don't answer the phone to unfamiliar numbers if I can help it. Weirdly, I'm not particularly introverted; I just don't like phoning people. No idea why.

I can phone people though. And I wouldn't say I was 'scared' of it. I just have issues with it. I think it's that I really worry about imposing myself on people. (And that will be related to my really crappy childhood and toxic family).

I think I am just short of a snake phobia. Walking across a grassy field in summer is terrifying but I kind of make myself do it, I regularly have snake nightmares and any close encounters leave me petrified.

I would never go to a doctor or seek a 'cure' for it because I know they would make me hold a snake which is totally out of the question. Also I know everything there is to know about adders so that I think I can avoid where they will be or what to do.

I am desperately trying not to pass this fear onto my children because I know it came from my mother.

Is this a phobia?

I don't know New. Sparkling Cat brings back grass snakes in the summer. I can cope with them on the lawn, at a distance but don't think I could touch them.

The phone thing is a form of social anxiety and it is quite common. CBT is very effective at treating it

tak you've found me out! thats the thing i actually didnt want to say, of my many many phobias. but hey, you said it.

yes, social phobia. big time. ive kind of shared this before, i ONLY go out and interact with others for DCs sake. otherwise, i was ok before I became a mum, but time and age and stuff, im getting worse each day.

Are you getting any treatment marj?

Snakes for me. Totally irrational and uncontrollable reaction. Can't look at pictures of them, watch them on tv, and even realistic toys make me burst ino tears. Saw one last year in the road and freaked out completely, ran screaming in the other direction. Can't control my reaction at all. If I had to rescue my kids from a snake I honestly don't think I could, and that scares me.