To be furious that DH has unilaterally gone and spent £5,000 on motorbike lessons, gear, insurance and a new motorbike

[Fulhamup]

It's a classic mid life crisis. A propos of not much, DH decides that he needs a new hobby in which our DS, aged 6, might eventually be interested. I indulged him in getting motorbike lessons, thinking that we wouldn't go and buy a bike. I was wrong, he did and without consulting me or asking me about use of funds. We are both working but DH is having a tricky time at work and it could all go pear shaped. Naturally we have a big mortgage, plenty of outgoings, 2 DC. DH is 45 with plenty of grey hair and an otherwise generally sensible approach to life.

Not very good if you don't have that sort of cash spare to do without talking with your partner.

I am a fair weather biker now, I am waiting for it to get a little warmer! I remember the nights sitting in the bath trying to warm my thighs before going to bed!

Cheaper than an affair/divorce though

I indulged him in getting motorbike lessons, thinking that we wouldn't go and buy a bike. I was wrong, he did...

I'm sorry, but what made you think getting lessons would be the end of it? Do people have driving lessons so they can get a little pink card and only ever travel by bus or taxi? Does a student get a medical degree so they can go on to a career selling double glazing?

How did you conclude that taking motorbiking lessons would NOT conclude with him buying safety gear and a bike?

Dh rides a motorbike. Fantastically economical to run compared to a car, so the good news is that you will save money on petrol as he can use the bike for commuting to work, saving you both time and money. I think mostly parking for motorbikes is free.

Ach, my DH is buying a harley this weekend. such a cliche

But I know about it and its taken him 2 years to beat me down.
If I had done it out of our money without talking to me first, I would be out of the door and serving papers. He knows that.

If £5k is a significant sum of money to your family he was bang out of order to spend it without consulting you. I would be livid.

Even of you DO have the money, surely such a large purchase would be something you would expect your partner to discuss with you?!?

For me this issue would be less about the amount, more the whole what the actual fuck about having a conversation and joint discussion.

Am willing to bet that the OP has never in their married life trotted off and dropped 5k on anything, so why on earth would it be ok for the DH to do so?

And not wanting to discuss it in case he got 'hassle' is the behavior of a child, not a grown man with kids and a mortgage.

travailtotravel

You have my deepest sympathy.

OP

This is no what you want to hear but I think the little imps start at about 6

www.impsonline.com/

Go get yourself some leathers and some lessons. I did a 1 week course and passed.