to be sad that my DD has now passed gender discrimination 101?

[ICBINEG]

My DD can now accurately pick out the boys and girls in her peer group (age 1-2). Presumably she has successfully identified that boys and girls are dressed differently/have their hair cut differently.

This is entirely due to adult imposed gender discrimination, as she a) isn't looking at them naked, b) can't possibly be detecting the very subtle actual differences in behaviour/appearance.

So lets hurry onto the next lesson:

Society expects girls and boys to behave differently and have different interests, strengths and weaknesses.

Before I could at least wonder if, when she saw in books that all the girls are doing different things to the boys, she might not realise which was which and specifically which group she was 'supposed' to be in. Now I know she will be learning exactly what is expected of her every time a tired old stereotype is rolled out.

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

I get the impression that OP will just about EXPLODE if her dd ends up liking "girl" stuff. Some girls will be trained to like pink stuff by parents who only buy pink but some girls will genuinely choose pink when they are given the option. We all had the same clothes growing up (blues, pinks, reds, all sorts). I preferred white and bright orange clothes, my sister always chose the pink ones. Who trained her to do that? She just liked the colour.

[Khaleese]

My god its a good thing.
My two year old couldn't work out if the tesco checkout lady was male or female.

He repeatedly asked me..is it a man or a women, at the top of his voice for five minuets. ( to be fair i couldn't tell)

I was mortified, really mortified.

You need to chill OP. my son wears heels and requested sparkly shoes at clarks last week. No i didn't indulge him. He's free to wear them at home but not out. Don't make your child a target.

[ICBINEG]

OKay so I posted a picture...and yes she is wearing blue...but she does have a red coat also....

So looks like a boy?

[ICBINEG]

My DD is just insistent that all women are 'mummies' .....men can be 'men' or 'daddies'

I always think about TTC threads on here and worry about her yelling 'a mummy' at all women....

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

Khalese you speak like a coward. Don't make your child a target indeed. What a crock of shit.

My Dd has short hair and wears "Boys" stuff a lot. She's not a target.

[ICBINEG]

Liek I said she has been sorting adults for a while...but new this week was 'boy' and 'girl' mostly directed at kids under 3 at soft play.

[ICBINEG]

yuck. So you are actively repressing your childs personality?

NICE.

[Megatron]

My DD wears what she wants. She mostly wears her brothers old football gear with wellies because she wants to. I don't try to make her 'look' like either gender but no one has ever thought she was a boy as she seems to have a very 'girlie' face.

I don't think that a toddler knowing which of her peers is a boy or girl means much at all to be honest and certainly don't think it means there is a lack of innocence.

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

Yeah, it's not the clothes that make her look like a boy. I would have thought that was a boy too had I not known because of her hair and her face. No clue why though but I think some children have boy faces and some have girls.

[southbank]

Oh ffs op,you are talking complete rubbish!
Who trains their daughters to like pink?
I have 3rd old twins,girl and boy.
Neither have been trained to like stereotypical boy or girl colours,toys,programmes or clothes.
We have a mix of pink,blue whatever at home
And guess what,my daughter loves pink.because she is 3,because it's pretty to her,it's not an issue!
My son loves blue,wrestling,spiderman and trains.that's also his own preference.
Both of them dress up in princess dresses because it's fun,and it's not an issue.
Both of them want to wear my lipstick and perfume-they are 3,they like what they like.

[catgirl1976]

My head just exploded :(

[ICBINEG]

southbank well what would you call dressing a child in nothing but pink for 2 years from birth?

How is that NOT training them to like pink?

[ICBINEG]

Her hair just grew that way...all I did was chop the mullet off when it reached epic proportions....she just doesn't apparently what to properly grow hair on the top of her head.

[Sparklyboots]

Who trains their daughters to like pink?

Nearly everyone they come into contact with. Those preferences are not freely-determined expressions of innate personality, and if you think they are... you might just be the least well read person I've come across today.

[Megatron]

I'm sorry but I just don't think you can 'train' a child to like a particular colour. DD wore mostly yellow and green when she was tiny. Her favourite colour is now red.

[Emilythornesbff]

mighttinge
You are correct.

Op, I think your daughter is likely to benefit fom your feminism
But differences are not a bad thing. (neccessarily)

[ElegantSufficiency]

Op, how is being able to tell a boy from a girl a liss of innocence?

[ICBINEG]

Do you people live in an alternative universe where fashion doesn't exist?

Suddenly every one just LOVES jeggings (or whatever). You do get that it isn't spontaneous but copying that makes this happen?

So as long as your DD knows she is a girl, and is exposed to lots and lots of media that tell her what girls look like then she is likely to come out matching the stereotype.

To say she made a free choice under these circumstances is...well....silly?

[southbank]

Well if I dressed my daughter in pink its because I liked it,it is possible to like pink and not have this whole fecking issue of gender discrimination,stereotype or anything else.
I LIKE PINK!

[UniqueAndAmazing]

i'm with you IC
i'm fed up with it.

i have no problem with a toddler knowing who is a boy or who is a girl (it helps with pronouns), but i don't want it to go into "boys do this, girls do this"

most adults can't tell if DD is a boy or a girl, she has very little hair and wears gender-neutral; shaped clothes most of the time.
what i mean is that she wears clothes that are practical for doing what babies/toddlers do.
there's no point putting tiny girls in dresses (or boys for that matter) because they really are very impractical most of the time.

[ICBINEG]

elegant because she will now be susceptible to all the advertising directed at girls (that emphasise love and flowers and friends and passive cutesyness over anything with action in it).

Before I could give her a mix of toys and let her get on with it...now I will be in direct battle with the whole universe to keep her mind open and all options available.

[GinAndSlimlinePlease]

I don't see the problem. I like dresses. I like pink.

If I had a girl I would dress her in pink, and in other colours too. And in a dress.

I don't see the problem.

If there is a problem, it's that more men/boys don't wear pink dresses

[OhDearieDearieMe]

I am for you OP. You must give yourself a proper banging non gender specific headache worrying about all this shite. As a matter of interest what would you be fretting about if you'd had a boy instead of a girl?

[Megatron]

OP I don't think you're interested in talking through other's views on this, which may be more similar to yours than you think or may be completely different. It seems you just want to tell everyone that you are right and they are wrong. I'm out. Shame, as it's an interesting topic.

[ElegantSufficiency]

I think u should save your energy for the real issues. and soon, they might not be theory, your own real dd will come home from school and quote some cool boy who was making disparaging remarks about girls. then u will have to roll up your sleeves and try and explain why that cool boy was wrong and not funny and why she shouldnt collude with the laughter. and that is presuming she will listen. she might walk off.
so i say save your energy for issues that might matter.