to be sad that my DD has now passed gender discrimination 101?

[ICBINEG]

My DD can now accurately pick out the boys and girls in her peer group (age 1-2). Presumably she has successfully identified that boys and girls are dressed differently/have their hair cut differently.

This is entirely due to adult imposed gender discrimination, as she a) isn't looking at them naked, b) can't possibly be detecting the very subtle actual differences in behaviour/appearance.

So lets hurry onto the next lesson:

Society expects girls and boys to behave differently and have different interests, strengths and weaknesses.

Before I could at least wonder if, when she saw in books that all the girls are doing different things to the boys, she might not realise which was which and specifically which group she was 'supposed' to be in. Now I know she will be learning exactly what is expected of her every time a tired old stereotype is rolled out.

[clippityclop]

Ha, that's what I meant really Wishwasanheiress!

[somewhereaclockisticking]

Just be annoyed when your dd goes to pre-school/school and is told that she shouldn't be wearing/liking that because it's for boys only - all my girls have been told at pre-school age by boys that they shouldn't be wearing blue and hey presto - they refuse to wear it because it's a boy's colour (just after I'd bought a beautiful sparkly coat) I then spent ages convincing dd3 that it's ok to dress in blue because Cinderella does.

[tomverlaine]

I don't know if DS knows the difference between boys and girls of his own age- he's never said anything - I know he plays with mainly two boys but i don't think thats because they are boys per se but because they like playing with the same things-cars/trains etc- which I think is nature rather than nurture. DS has had the gender neutral toys and the generally deemed "girl" toys such as dolls /kitchens etc but just isn't interested.
Dress is difficult with boys as to be honest the most practical clothes are gender neutral (eg trousers that any gender could wear)-I would be open to buy him pink/sparkly things if he expressed an interest but he hasn't he does have pink drink containers etc (they were cheap) and I think at times people have checked his gender.
I want him to be open to all options regardless of gender - eg not to dismiss something because its girly - but I think it is easier if you have a son rather than a daughter to be more casual about it as you are not as concerned maybe about the impact of gender discrimmination.

But I think you need to pick your battles - it doesn't matter if your DD can distinguish which of her friends are boys/girls but she should not make her choice of playmates based on this

[UniqueAndAmazing]

wishiwasanheiress - no, it doesn't mean that it's all she's got to worry about.

If posters would refrain from saying that, I would be grateful.
just because she's moaning about one thing doesn't mean that she hasn't got a million worries in her head.
ffs.

[blackcurrantjan]

OP I understand your concerns but I'm sure its just a natural stage in development. I was almost three when my DB was born and I remember watching my DM change him and asking what 'that' was. My DM said it was his willie and I asked did I have a willie when I was a baby, thinking it must be something only a baby had, to which my DM said 'No only boys have willies. This must have shocked me as it's one of my earliest memories. My point is that I was aware he was a boy before this I just didn't know why and my parents would not have gone in for stereotyping. I think toddlers probably just pick up the differences from hearing people refer to other children as him/her, son/daughter etc or as someone else said earlier, they start catagorizing at this age.

[Flobbadobs]

School run done thank god, it's wild out there!
ICBNEG the good news is that nursery workers aren't allowed to perpetuate gender stereotypes. It just shouldn't happen whether regarding the toys a child plays with or in their interactions with the children. A child should be free to play with anything regardless of gender.
Having thought about this on the way to school I think you're on a hiding to nothing if you are expecting the whole of society to change it's attitude towards this though, it's up to individuals to look at the way they raise their own children and their own expectations wrt gender.
Fwiw though, I do agree with you.

[Hulababy]

I grew up in the early 70s - you can definitely tell the girls and boys in all my class pictures, even very early ones. It is not true that all children wore generic clothes and had generic hair styles. In most photos the little girls still have longer hair tied up, often in a ribbon. There are many skirts around. Pink didn't appear much i grant you - but the clothes were very often distinguishable. Even where they wear trousers and dungarees it is is still very obvious.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

I saw a picture of my playgroup recently from 1973 when we were all about 2/3 and you could easily tell the girls from the boys. So it was no different then. It is very natrual as a parent to dress your child to enable him or her to fit in. I would not dress DS2 in a dress and grow his hair just so that noone could guess his true gender. Now if he wanted to do that himself at a later date that would be fine, but I wouldn't do it to him

[FunnysInLaJardin]

x posted Hula!

[pigletmania]

Gosh I should be worried as my 14 month old cannot discriminate between te genders, apparently at this age tey should be eating with cutlery and a bowl

[SoupDreggon]

How on earth is the fact that a 2 year old can tell boys/girls apart discrimination?

Unless it's because all the girls are made to sit out whilst the boys do stuff.

[southbank]

And btw no my son isn't as bothered about pink,not because he's discriminated against-which I really can't beleive you actually dared to suggest!
My children are treated differently because they are different people,different needs,different preferences all through free choice.
Our house is harmonious and we don't have the clearly quite stressful concern that our children are being force fed stereotyped shit that will someday affect their confidence,place in society,treatment of the opposite sex.
I also just went out to buy some Easter eggs for them,you would probably think I have chosen them based on sex however I know my son will just love his spiderman egg and my daughter will love her Minnie mouse egg.there really is no deeper issue for them.

[SoupDreggon]

I agree with Hula - I grew up in the 70s and girls didn't wear pink. It was still obvious who were girls though (and I was a tomboy with older brothers!)

[Robinredboobs]

I don't know if it's entirely true. I was watching a tv programme while my 2.5 year old was pottering around, on screen was an amazingly beautiful woman in full make up and a long satin gown. DD said, that's a man! I said no love, it's a woman. She insisted and got in a huff. Programme moved on and turned out the lady was in fact a transgender man..

She also clearly identifies little girls wearing "boyish" clothes or with short hair. I think that age group take no notice of clothes but study faces very carefully.

[AngiBolen]

www.flickr.com/photos/marshallaver/6818155439/

I think the bowl head haircut in the '70's had a lot to do with boys and girls looking similar.

[catgirl1976]

Was that hairstyle mandatory?

I know I had it :)

[southbank]

Lol Angi that could have been my school photo-I also had the obligatory haircut!

[LackaDAISYcal]

I think your DD looks like a boy because I think you are maybe trying a little bit too hard to not make her look like a girl and that makes me feel a little bit sad for her. And there will probably come a point when she wonders why you dressed her this way and she may even feel a little bit resentful of you for it.

By all means don't encourage the pink-out, but don't try and deny her her gender and the identity that comes with it, whether you like it or not.

[stressyBessy22]

girls have different faces to boys.I bet I could tell the sex of most 1and 2 yr old children based on just a face shot.

[Hulababy]

AngiBolan - I reckon on that photo there are 9 girls and 8 boys.

[SigmundFraude]

I think that the biggest problem your DD is going to face will be you questioning and analyzing every choice she makes.

So glad my Mum wasn't a feminist.

[Hulababy]

Both me and my brother had the haircut too :)

[stressyBessy22]

why do you want your Dc to be some gender-neutral weirdo being.You are going to screw your child up royally if you continue this way.
This is the society your child is going to grow up in , she is going to be very unhappy if she doesn't conform with even its most basic conventions

[squeakytoy]

Words almost fail me with the absurdity of the OP.

She is a little girl. You sound as though you are doing everything possible to force and push your own agenda of feminism onto the poor child. I get the impression that you actually want people to see your child and assume she is a boy, just to prove your bizarre point.

[Floggingmolly]

You've dressed her in blue and given her a crew cut...
You've fallen into the trap of trying so hard not to fall into one camp that you've gone too far and fallen into the other. No, she doesn't look gender neutral, she looks like a boy.
Why is that preferable to her looking like a girl (which she is)?????