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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think sister shouldn't have DC2 in a hospital an hour away?

124 replies

alwaysreallytired · 23/03/2013 21:25

My sister lives in Brisbane, Australia. Her 2nd baby is due in three weeks and I've just found out that they're planning on having their baby in a hospital an hour from their home, in Brisbane CBD. They have chosen this hospital over a nearer one, as they can have the baby's cord blood collected there, but not at the nearer hospital. She says that they have the kit to collect the cord blood and that her husband could do it anyway, so I don't understand why they can't just go to their nearest hospital and then just get her husband or a midwife to do it there.

I'm really worried that my sister might end up having the baby en-route and the baby or mother needing immediate medical attention. What if the baby needs help breathing? What if my sister has a haemorrhage?

I think my sister may be putting both her baby and herself at unnecessary risk by not going to their closest hospital. Am I being unreasonable to think this?

OP posts:
WafflyVersatile · 23/03/2013 23:15

Just leave home 30 minutes earlier. Smile

InVeryveryBadTaste · 23/03/2013 23:18

Oh and should have said that up here we have NO choice, its something i find amusing and otherwordly tbh, the fact that you could choose to pick a different hospital for whatever reason.

skaen · 23/03/2013 23:19

I live 5 miles from the hospital in Oxford. When DS decided he was on the way at 7am it took us an hour and a half to get there because the rush hour is so bloody awful. We all survived, although I didn't get long in the pool!

TraceyTrickster · 23/03/2013 23:23

I live in the suburbs of an Australian city- no greenery between me and the city hospital I was booked into. It was 40 mins away. it was chosen because it had the best facilities.

aldiwhore · 23/03/2013 23:25

YANBU to have an opinion.

YWBU to share it more than once and more than extremely politely and gently to your sister. YWBU to get offended if she tells you to STFU. YWBU to argue.

DrHolmes · 23/03/2013 23:26

YABU

birdofthenorth · 23/03/2013 23:31

Yabu as it is her choice but I do sympathise with your position as I am choosing the nearest hospital rather than the best hospital for DC2 just in case though now blumming glad I did as I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and have to attend weekly clinics which would take twice as long if travelling to the swanky new mat ward where I had DD

SirBoobAlot · 23/03/2013 23:33

YABU.

I chose to have DS at a hospital an hour away, although the closer one is twenty minutes drive. My reasons were not the same as your sisters, but legitimate.

You're worrying about her, understandably, but needlessly so.

yousankmybattleship · 23/03/2013 23:36

Your sister is a grown up and capable of making her own choices. YABU and should but out.

scarlettsmummy2 · 23/03/2013 23:38

Yabu. I had baby two in a hospital 45 mins away- we just left in plenty of time.

TidyDancer · 23/03/2013 23:52

My friend is having her second baby in a hospital just under an hour away. There are two closer to her. One she has a bad experience with when she had her DS and the other one currently has a maternity unit but is anticipating it will shut by the time she has here baby.

I think she's made a very sensible choice tbh.

TidyDancer · 23/03/2013 23:52

here her

lisianthus · 23/03/2013 23:56

I'm a bit puzzled. You are talking about your sister as if she is an irresponsible child and incapable of making rational choices about her own baby. At the same time, you said that the reason she has chosen this hospital is in order to donate cord blood, which is an AMAZING thing to do and can save lives. The hospital in which I gave birth to DC1 had posters all over the place begging people to consider donating.

She seems pretty sensible to me, and appears to have researched issues around her birth too, if she is donating cord blood. Why exactly are you worried? Is there an actual reason, or do you just not think of your sister as an adult for some reason?

YABU

Btw to others reading this thread, please consider donating cord blood. There are VERY few ways that stem cells can be obtained. This is one of them, and they are hugely valuable for medical research.

CocoKev · 24/03/2013 00:28

OP- I'm in Brisbane. I had a home birth with DS1 in the UK and, as home births aren't really an option here, had DS2 at a midwife- led unit 12 weeks ago.

Please don't worry- from what I've experienced maternity services here are excellent, advice is even handed and widely available and support is generally first rate. If your sister has chosen to go private she will have an obstetrician who will have signed off on her birth plan. If not she will probably have had GP and midwife support throughout her pregnancy.
All the best to your sister- Brisbane is a great place to have a young family.

SquinkieBunnies · 24/03/2013 01:00

YABU mine were born at a hospital an hour away as there is no hospital closer that did deliveries. She'll be fine, lots of people have to travel to the closest one that happens to be an hour away.

MidniteScribbler · 24/03/2013 01:07

I'm guessing she wants to have her baby at either the Royal Womens or the Mater, and quite frankly, I don't blame her. If I'd still been living in Brisbane when I had DS they would have been my only two choices. Brisbane roads are pretty good, and with the new tunnels and freeways now, travel time has been reduced. She'll be fine.

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 24/03/2013 05:58

What MidniteScribbler said.

newbiefrugalgal · 24/03/2013 06:30

I lived in London and with traffic it may as well have been an hour away.
Get over it.
Are you going to question every parenting decision they make??

JollyYellowGiant · 24/03/2013 06:35

We have two choices of hospital. Both 40-45 minutes in an ambulance with blue lights.

Gracelo · 24/03/2013 07:14

West coast Scotland. We have a hospital in town but it is tiny. There is a maternity unit but it is midwives only, there is no surgery team. If any problems are anticipated you have to go to Paisley or Glasgow for the delivery and that is about 1.5 hours depending on traffic. Any problem during delivery and it is ambulance or helicopter to Glasgow. Even tearing during delivery can mean that a new mother is taken to Glasgow for stitching up. It's even more complicated for women on the islands.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 24/03/2013 07:17

Dorset, I am only half an hour away but others I know are an hour away.

YABU,

and seems to me that no one agrees with you.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack · 24/03/2013 07:27

Try any of the Scottish islands. Shetland for example, if you are under a consultant he or she will be based in Aberdeen, which is a 45 minute flight away or a ferry trip Envy

DolomitesDonkey · 24/03/2013 07:29

Yabu and quite astoundingly ignorant - although I'm delighted you've been given a geography lesson and perhaps one day you'll leave the confines of the m25.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 24/03/2013 07:33

In all likelihood, labour will be slow. She'll start to have contractions and have plenty of time to get to the hospital. It's really not very common to go from 0 to baby in 10 minutes, so try not to worry.

In the event that things progress quickly, they will have the option to divert to the closer hospital.

Or even have the baby in the back of the car! Grin which will be a story to dine out on.

I am sure she will be fine, try not to worry. Most women have babies with no problem at all.

If during her pregnancy, there are issues, then I am sure the doctors will advise her to change her plans.

Catper33 · 24/03/2013 07:34

Not in the UK or Australia but somewhere pretty close to there. Our nearest hospital is 3.5 hour drive away so unless you want a midwife led home birth its really your only option. You accept that this is how it is and you plan accordingly. If there is a problem surely your sister could go to a nearer hospital if needed, but she has made her choice which should be respected.

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