DS, 13, is really, really bad with money. He gets £5/ month pocket money, his phone contract and youth club fees (about £6/ month) from us. The pocket money is no-strings attached and ge can "earn" more by doing extra chores (he never does.)
He spends it all on sweets and energy drinks after school. 
We're going to Florida in April so my DDs (younger than DS) both decided to save all of their xmas and birthday money for this. DS bought an x-box with his and has frittered away what was left.
My mum then gave them each $150 for the holiday -problem solved 
Now, DS has a 3 day trip to a theme park with school. I told him I would give him £20 and he would have to try to save or do some jobs for the rest. (Obviously he thinks £20 is far too little for 3 days, although DD was more than happy with the same amount for a week long ski-trip...)
I really want him to start learning the value of money and to be a bit more sensible.
Yesterday he smirked at me and said that Grandma is going to give him his spending money for the trip so he doesn't need to do any chores!
I am not impressed at all. Obviously my mother just thinks I'm being mean and unfair.
AIBU re pocket money? (Obviously I don't think I am but will stand corrected if everyone here tells me I am.)
Also how much pocket money is reasonable for a 13 year old on a 3 day school trip?
AIBU?
AIBU or is my mum, re pocket money for trip?
loopyluna · 16/03/2013 10:01
Bellavita your're right I don't have teenagers yet so may be I'm being unrealistic. However, I still think if meals are provided (different scenario if they're not) that £30 for 3 days would be sufficient, as they're only buying drinks and sweets etc. I admit though that I haven't been to a theme park in a while and I acknowledge I'd prefer my kids to have a "safety net" so to speak, in case of an emergency.
Just can't imagine if I gave £50, but with £20 of it being a buffer for an emergency I'd ever see the extra £20 again 
Patch, unfortunately that is the risk you take . I do not expect any money back. A couple of years ago DS1 (soon to be 16) went on a day trip to a theme park with school and I gave him £20. It was a warm day I wanted him to be able to get ice creams and drinks whenever he felt the need and I didn't see any change.
OP I buy all clothes/toiletries for mine. They just pay for their own top ups. DS1 gets £40 a month plus he keeps any change from his lunch money. DS2 (13) gets £25 per month but he also earns £35 a week from his paper round and he keeps any change from his lunch money too.
DS2 has just come back from skiing (feb half term with the school) he spent all of his money. £15 sterling each way for the ferry food/service station and ?75 euro spends for during the week. He used it all. When my school go skiing they have hot chocs/waffles during the day when they stop for a break.
I agree with With Mike, my children are not my employees,and I think things like adequate spending money for a school trip is a necessity, and i would always provide it.My dcs will do chores for extra money if its for something special though. I think the op INBU over the whole situation, but £5 a month will go nowhere, and no one wants to be the child standing outside the shop when everyone else is buying junk .
I really don't think it is fair to compare a teenagers needs and wants with those of younger siblings they will get there turn when the time comes.
YABU and a bit tight (if you can afford more) with pocket money. Even though you give him relative free reign with kindle apps and music, he isn't learning the value of money if he's not paying for it. He is 13. £20 a month would set him up to be able to budget and pay for any books or music he orders, and trips to the sweet shop etc.
YANBU to be pissed off with your mother though. If those are your rules she was being out of order to undermine you and is also doing your son a big un-favour by showing him that he can have what he wants.
FWIW though, we have a similar situation here with a friend of ours who has no children of his own and dotes on ours. He is a lovely kind man, but every time he comes round (most weeks, sometimes twice), he gives the DDs £10-£20 each. It's so generous, and the DDs always thank him and start mentally planning what to spend their money on. I however, take half away and stick it in their accounts which aren't for when they're older but for funds during the summer holidays etc, trips to theme parks, day trips or whatever (our friend does know this! I am not stealing their money, but really don't know what else to do with it!!). They are free to spend the other half on what they want. But now, when I give them a couple of quid here and there, although they are grateful, they probably don't see it as much money and are really not going to be very good savers as they think the next purchase will come in a few days time when they get some more money 
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