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AIBU?

in thinking the teacher shouldn't have clipped my 7 year old son around the back of his head in class

107 replies

pingu2209 · 15/03/2013 18:03

My son was being a little sod, no doubt, but should she really have clipped him around the back of the head.

He told me that he quietly cried into his school work after it had happened.

However, when I queried with the teacher this afternoon she said that it really wasn't hard at all and barely brushed him. She also said that his behaviour didn't improve either.

I'm not sure what I'm thinking really. Teachers used to clip me, I had board rubbers thrown at me etc. It didnt' do me any harm.

OP posts:

Report

Feenie · 16/03/2013 12:18

TheNebulousBoojum · 16/03/2013 12:19

CalamityKate · 16/03/2013 12:20

I'm baffled by Holly's post.

tethersend · 16/03/2013 12:21

"Perhaps if teachers (who already do a very difficult and trying job as it is) were allowed to give a light clip then the general behaviour of disruptive children might improve"

No, it wouldn't.

Feenie · 16/03/2013 12:23

Why thank you, Nebulous - hope you have a lovely restful weekend!

LizzieVereker · 16/03/2013 12:27

Grasps Feenie's hands in an attempt to offer support, and as an alternative to sitting on own hands.

OP, I think you've handled this with common sense and dignity.

Catchingmockingbirds · 16/03/2013 12:41

Im confused, I thought a 'clip around the head' meant a smack on the head. Does it mean something different?

SofaKing · 16/03/2013 13:02

My mum was a teacher and clipped a boy round the ear when he was hitting the girl in front of him.

He later alleged she had hit him hard enough to break a gold chain he was wearing - she did not, he broke it in the playground and was scared to tell his parents, so he lied. School were terrified his parents would take it further, so stopped employing my mum. Boy was 15.

Your child's teacher in unbelievably lucky you have not told anyone else at the school, she could potentially lose her job.

hackmum · 16/03/2013 13:03

You're right Catchingmockingbirds, it does mean a smack on the head, and if a teacher does it, it's a sackable offence. This is why I find it strange that the OP asked the teacher if she'd done it - the teacher is hardly going to say, "Yes, I gave him a good old whack," is she?

The fact that the teacher apparently said that it didn't improve the child's behaviour (well, duh) and that the OP then said that having board dusters thrown at her never did her any harm was what made me wonder if this was a wind-up.

LandofTute · 16/03/2013 13:52

Holly did nothing wrong.

*Me "is it maths now by any chance?"
Her (giggles) "yeah!"
Me: "you better scoot off to lesson before you get caught bunking again! and remember you have 40 years of this ahead of you" *

The girl thought she had a period pain and giggled at the suggestion she was laying it on thick to avoid maths and then scooted off to maths when told to go by Holly. Clearly at that point the pain wasn't that bad or she wouldn't have been giggling about it. Holly wasn't to know it was something more serious.

It sounds like the pupil thinks very highly of Holly and has a great relationship with her, even if she got a bit carried away in making up a story about Holly stroking her hair etc.

pingu2209 · 16/03/2013 13:56

No it is not a wind-up. I know teachers should not hit a child. I know that the teacher should not have even lightly with an open palm knocked the back of my child's head,which it seems it what happened. I personally call this a clip round the back of the head.

However, he was pushing her with his behaviour - he was giggling whilst another boy was pulling faces. He wasn't stopping giggling and she probably thought that it would stop him.

The teacher did not deny hitting him. She said it was very light and it didn't stop him giggling later in the class either.

I know that it isn't allowed. However, she isn't a bad teacher and I don't think it needs to be blown out of proportion. She doesn't have a reputation for doing these things and my son has never ever made any negative comments about her since he came to her class in September.

My son said it was very hard and made him cry etc. However, quite frankly I don't believe him. I believe his teacher. He knows I spoke to his teacher and my feedback to him was that he must not disrupt other people's learning and if the teacher tells him to stop doing something, then he must listen to her. Otherwise I will clip him round the back of the head when he gets home!

Of course if I didn't believe the teacher I would have escalated it up through the school. But I really don't think this is one of those times.

OP posts:

LandofTute · 16/03/2013 14:17

Good for you OP. It sounds like you have handled it in a very level headed way.

AmberLeaf · 16/03/2013 14:48

So you have just taught your son that if 'pushed' by someone it is ok to hit them.

Way to go.

Paintingrainbowskies · 16/03/2013 14:48

I'm shocked by this thread, there is no way I could let that go if I felt someone had hit my child (no matter how gently). It is illegal for one but totally unprofessional. If she thinks this is appropriate for typical 7 year old boy behaviour what on earth would be appropriate for something that seriously wound her up.

I would have had to ask for a meeting with the Head.

I do respect your calm approach to this but I can't understand letting it go.

Badvoc · 16/03/2013 14:54

What she did is illegal in the UK.
If she has already confirmed to you that she did in fact hit your child then she should lose her job.
End of.

Flobbadobs · 16/03/2013 14:56

You handled it well, but I really think the teacher needs to be alot more aware of the stupid thing that she did. You handled it quietly and with dignity, another parent may not if she has form for doing similar and she may well find herself being sacked or arrested.

serendipity16 · 16/03/2013 15:08

A teacher pushed my sister in the chest when she was in year 7.
My sister had heart surgery when she was a toddler which worried me, i was young myself so worried what being pushed so hard in the chest could have done to my sister.
I saw it happen and backed up my sister when my mum reported it to the school.
I don't know what happened to the teacher but she was there at the school for another year or two and never spoke to me again, luckily i wasn't in any of her classes.
That teacher is now an actress and has been in Corrie, Waterloo Road and recently in Eastenders.
I don't like the idea of teachers slapping or pushing children.

nevertoolate26 · 16/03/2013 15:15

My little one was always being disruptive in class. The teacher never hit her though. She was always given a number of punishments which included, sitting at another table, the last resort was sending her into another class.
If the teacher has ever poked her I would have taken it straight to the head.
One of the posters mentioned above that your son would now learn that it was ok to poke someone - she's right. What message is that sending to your son?
I have incredible respect for my DDs teacher as she knows how to punish and through it has worked well with her without labelling her as a trouble maker. My daughter adores her teacher. Do you think your son respects his?

Whatalotofpiffle · 16/03/2013 17:50

That's awful!! You should report her

flippinada · 16/03/2013 19:54

If a primary school teacher gets that wound up by 7 years old giggling and being stupid in class then she shouldn't be in the job.

I remember getting a "clip round the head" at first school when I was young. Glad it's illegal now.

thebody · 16/03/2013 20:32

Well I think that as a parent of a 'little sod' you handled this well.

You didn't immediately side with him and blame everyone else as so many stupid patents do which usually leads to child getting into bigger trouble and as ever parents blame everyone else except themselves, their stupid indulgent parenting and the kid.

Good on you.

However as a TA I think the teacher needs to work out more effective discipline strategies.

I am not actually sure where this no touching rubbish comes from? Teaching staff can of course touch children but not in appropriately or in a manner that could be construed as such.

mumnosbest · 17/03/2013 11:29

OP the teacher is NOT a good teacher if the only strategy she has is to hit your child. i have taught lots of children who i could happily have 'clipped' but never have because 1) its illegal 2) it wouldn't teach them anything and 3) it wouldn't help our relationship.

SnotMeReally · 17/03/2013 14:42

A 7 yo boy giggling at a friend pulling faces sounds TOTALLY normal to me - a teacher reacting by HITTING that child, does not - what about the boy doing the silly faces? Why was your son the one hit? Because he has a reputation already as a "little sod" ??

I would be taking this further - in fact, even if you dont want the teacher disciplined, it ought to go on record JUST IN CASE anything ever happens again, then presumably she would not get another chance. If you do nothing you cant very well wait for another incident and then try bringing this up then.

What if there have been other minor incidents like that you are unaware iof, and she has already had wanrings, and the school are just waiting for their chance to get rid?

zwischenzug · 17/03/2013 15:45

Congratulations OP, you appear to have handled this in a mature and common sense way, as opposed to listening to the advise of the majority of nutjobs on here who would clearly prefer the "Daily Mail name and shame and pursue £5,000,000 for injury to feelings and whiplash" approach.

Also this comment was funny... its the humiliation side too ... so a light tap that most of the kids probably missed is "humiliation" but having your name on the board and being verbally told off for all to hear it not. Good one.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 17/03/2013 15:49

Yes, being hit is more humiliating, because it involves power dynamics and is scary.

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