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AIBU?

in thinking the teacher shouldn't have clipped my 7 year old son around the back of his head in class

107 replies

pingu2209 · 15/03/2013 18:03

My son was being a little sod, no doubt, but should she really have clipped him around the back of the head.

He told me that he quietly cried into his school work after it had happened.

However, when I queried with the teacher this afternoon she said that it really wasn't hard at all and barely brushed him. She also said that his behaviour didn't improve either.

I'm not sure what I'm thinking really. Teachers used to clip me, I had board rubbers thrown at me etc. It didnt' do me any harm.

OP posts:

Report

Mrsrobertduvall · 15/03/2013 20:02

This is a very odd thread.

toomanyfionas · 15/03/2013 20:08

Of course she shouldn't have. You seem to have it all sorted though.

LynetteScavo · 15/03/2013 20:16

Hmmmm....you are being so much more relaxed than I would be.

I take it you really like this particular teacher.

GloriaPritchett · 15/03/2013 20:18

What?!

whimsicalmess · 15/03/2013 21:23

I mean you know your son and all that,but be careful. Some teachers will take your complacency as a green light for more firm discipline . I had one teacher an older woman who grab hard, hit me over the head with a violin stick one (late 90s) last I heard a child was excluded cause they broke her nose frantically trying to Get her off them (7yrs old) I know that s scaremongering just a warning.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 15/03/2013 22:02

On the otherhand false allegations by pupils can be extremely damaging to a teachers career. If it were my DS I would ask him again if he was really hit hard and cried quietly. Explain that the teacher dismissed it as nothing so if he is telling the truth you will need to take it further, with the first port of call being the teacher in question to say her story is different to your DS.

maddening · 15/03/2013 22:34

Thenebulus - I think if I were a teacher I would want cctv in my classroom - these sort of allegations can do damage and it is your word against theirs - at least with video you have backup - even if allegations are proved false the damage is done.

I know legally it could never happen.

rhondajean · 15/03/2013 22:38

I don't get Holly's post at all?

The pupil had to have major surgery? Holly was more worried that the pupil said she had been nice to her than that she ignored a child in severe pain?

Have I dropped into an alternative universe????

fluffypillow · 15/03/2013 22:56

I was about that too rhondajean

Glad it wasn't just me! How very odd.

schoolgovernor · 15/03/2013 23:05

Whimsical - things were very different in the 90's.
Op - you know what to do. You spoke to the teacher. If you're happy with her explanation then that's the end of it. If not you need to escalate it to the Head. Children can be great at embroidering the truth though...
I think what Holly meant was that she had a pupil who told her she had period pains. It became apparent that it wasn't that bad as the girl had a laugh and trotted off into class. Subsequently it turned out the child was seriously ill, but there is no Holly had any reason to know that. The other part of the story is that the child told a complete lie about an imaginary situation that could have got Holly suspended and investigated for inappropriate behaviour. Fortunately CCTV proved the lie. An example of how children sometimes exaggerate/lie.

rhondajean · 15/03/2013 23:28

It's a bit of a poor example on this thread... Child says I'm I'll, I say no go to class, child has major surgery...

I'd be more occupied with thinking how I had missed the signals if it was me.

Then again I get royally fucked off with the type of profiling holly does at the start of her post.

It's EXTREMELY bizarre and I found it disturbing. Perhaps if the child has not been seriously ill when she returned her to class I'd take a different view

Anyway sorry op we digress.

mumnosbest · 15/03/2013 23:30

odd behaviour from a teacher in this day and age. i certainly wouldn't clip a pupil even gently in jest. i would also be a bit narked if my little sod ds 8yrs was clipped around the head.

AmberLeaf · 15/03/2013 23:45

Im finding this a bit confusing too.

Did the teacher actually admit to hitting you son?

You're are clearly not talking a punch to the back to the head, more of an open handed slap?

Bad day on her part/bad day on his part is irrelevant really, corporal punishment was made illegal in 1986 wasn't it?

I always back any sanctions/punishments etc imposed by schools if my children have behaved badly, I have good relationships with their teachers and wouldn't seek to undermine them, BUT I would not be happy about something like this.

But I also wouldn't hit my own child around the head either.

tethersend · 15/03/2013 23:54

How hard the teacher hit him and whether he was upset or not are not the issues- the teacher absolutely should not have done this, and she is putting herself at risk by doing so.

How could she be certain that your DS was not physically abused at home? She was really, really stupid to have done this; she's left herself open to serious allegations, and was lucky that your DS's reaction was not to hit back.

I think you are right to call her on it, but it sounds as if she does not understand why she cannot use this as a behaviour management strategy, which would concern me.

bluer · 16/03/2013 09:33

No teacher should be hitting any child however I have tapped a shoulder to get attention on task or just gently placed a hand on back to bring them back to the moment. I wonder whether this may be the case?
Oh and Holly I wouldn't be scared to put an arm round an ill child or hug a crying child...it its political correctness gone mad...there is nothing in the professional code that says this sort of contact is inappropriate. Obviously you've got to be careful for your own sake but a child crying after finding out someone had died or after being bullied needs compassion and care. I guess its all about your relationship with your pupils.

kelda · 16/03/2013 09:36

I think you have handled the situation very well OP.

LandofTute · 16/03/2013 09:45

If she lightly brushed him on the back of the head then i think you should let it go. I don't think you should ruin her career over it. I doubt it will happen again. She said that his behaviour didn't improve after it, which contradicts the quietly crying into his schoolwork thing.

hackmum · 16/03/2013 11:04

These days I think sacking is usually automatic if a teacher hits a child. And if it's serious, then there will be a criminal prosecution too.

I have no idea, obviously, if the teacher hit the OP's DS or not. But clearly, if she did, she wouldn't admit to it.

BTW, is this a genuine thread or a thread about a thread or something? I have a feeling I'm missing something important.

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/03/2013 11:35

Well done OP, fantastically handled.

Bluer
"I guess its all about your relationship with your pupils."

What a pompous response

bluer · 16/03/2013 11:43

Why thank you very much
All I meant was if you respect the kids and they respect you!

hackmum · 16/03/2013 11:46

rhondajean - I was also baffled by Holly's post. In her position, I would be mortified that I had sent a child back to class when she was seriously ill. Holly only seems to be upset that the child claimed she had comforted her and put her arm around her, which actually would have been a nice, kind thing to do. Holly for some reason seems to think it would have been a disciplinary offence. Couldn't make head nor tail of it.

letseatgrandma · 16/03/2013 11:48

I'm confused-did the teacher admit to hitting the child?

I'm a ks1 teacher and have, on occasion, waved my arms around to make a point and a child has been nearer than expected and my hand has bumped them, but of course I have apologised profusely-it was clearly an accident. Was this? The teacher would be immediately dismissed if not-you just cannot hit children at school these days!

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/03/2013 11:54

but its not about the relationship/respect between you and the children.

Its about the people that see what you do and report it for being inappropriate, can you assure me that the Head, SLT, TAs, SENCO, parents, cleaners, janitorial staff and other pupils feel the same way that you do.

ScottyDoc · 16/03/2013 12:06

A seven year old should be behaving himself in class, that's a fact. We aren't talking about a four year old here. Perhaps if teachers (who already do a very difficult and trying job as it is) were allowed to give a light clip then the general behaviour of disruptive children might improve. There's only so much Montessori Unconditional Parenting 'talking' and 'reasoning' you can do with some kids unfortunately.

OP I think you handled it well none the less but I'd be concentrating on improving your sons behaviour with the support of the teacher.

toffeelolly · 16/03/2013 12:07

Teacher was well in the wrong, nobody is allowed to hit your child, and also it was around the back of head does not matter if it was a smack or tap it should never have happened, and this comming from a teacher Disgrace. I would never hit or tap my child around head so a teacher should not have. If she was reported she would be in trouble. As for teacher's having a tough job if they can not handle the pressure or keeping there hand's to themself's they should not be in the job!

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