I was bullied by one girl in school, she was the classic bully, very popular. Pushed me into muddy puddles, stole my things and threw them into bins, physically attacked me as well as spreading quite vicious (for our age) rumours about me. She wasn't pleasant to many people outside her loyal pack of friends, but I seemed to be her main target. It was completely unprovoked, based solely on the fact that I looked and dressed differently. It damaged my school life quite considerably to the point where for the last two years I barely attended, and though I went back a couple of years later to retake them, it ruined my chances at passing my GCSEs. I was an anxious, depressed mess.
Fast forward to our mid-twenties and we still live in the same town. I see her regularly in town, and I avoid avoid avoid. I won't make eye contact, I won't acknowledge her presence. She was in the queue behind me the other day and I didn't even look in her direction, I just don't want to see her face. It's actually still quite painful to think of all that she put me through, for nothing, just for her enjoyment.
I went to a gig with an old friend recently, a rare night out for both of us. This woman was there too, because apparently in recent years she's gotten over her aversion to 'disgusting grungers who don't wash and wear goff makeup', and has married the drummer in a local band that was playing that night. The woman came over to us, and hugged my friend. I realised who it was and walked away without a word.
Friend defended her, in her words "She's alright now, she's really changed. We get on really well now." Now, this woman targeted my friend too, albeit not as severely as me, so I'm at a loss trying to understand why my friend would suddenly want this woman in her life. Yes, it happened years ago, but I just don't understand the need.
Friend thinks I am being completely unreasonable, and living in the past. I don't think I am, in fact I've gone long ways to put the past behind me and never think about those terrible years. I just don't feel the need to have the woman that tormented me for years, in my life. So it seems this woman is part of the same social circle now. Am I being unreasonable in not acknowledging her?
AIBU?
to still avoid the woman who bullied me in school?
Theicingontop · 08/03/2013 17:44
I was bullied at school by a group, horribly.
I married the lad that one of the Bully's really liked. She was horrified when she found out, several years later, that we were together. We are still together after nearly 3 decades.
I turned down the job application for one of the Bully's (I didn't know at the time it was her)
I stood across the court as a witness (I was on the right side, she was on the wrong (convicted) side) from another of the group of Bully's. I won.
Living life well really works 
I was bullied very badly at school by a few people but one girl was very vocal and VERY vicious about the fact that i didnt shave my legs (mum wouldnt allow me to) it was vicious.
DH actually used to be married to her sister as well as being her godfather. Just after we started dating when we realised we both knew her i remember DH saying "she was a right PITA at home as well
It's entirely up to you how you want to behave.
Is it right you're in your mid-twenties? I was bullied at school and once I got more confidence I dealt with it by jumping on anyone I thought was trying it on. And I was ruthless with old bullies who made the mistake of thinking I'd let bygones be bygones.
I now know that at least until my 20s I was too sensitive and aggressive. But you can't avoid that because horrible things have happened to you. And no, I don't regret blanking old bullies.
You're fine as you are and you'll get better as you get older and learn that there are lots of nice people in the world and you're worth knowing.
Good luck and fuck her
No I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'd not argue about it with your social circle because I genuinely believe she might have changed and you wont convince them. But who gives a crap if she has?! Your memory hasn't changed and I completely understand why it hurts to look at her 
To be fair, it is sad that you will spend your life feeling such active hate against her, I wonder if some therapy or NLP might help stop some of the negativity you must feel so often when you encounter her.
It's not worth having any more of your life taken up thinking about her.
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