To use my title

[ArtemisatBrauron]

I have a PhD and use my title - I was thinking of just using it at work but decided consistency was best and changed it with the bank etc as well. I've recently had several snide comments about it as well as a few family members and work colleagues who continue to address me/write to me as Mrs Brauron. I haven't corrected them because it seems rude, but it annoys me - AIBU?

[Goal]

Massively pretentious to call yourself dr when you have a phd.

[FierceBadIggi]

Well I think it's massively pretentious to call yourself Mrs just because you've bagged a man.

[MedicPeso]

Gosh, some of these posts are bizarre .

I have a PhD, therefore my title is Dr. I don't like Mrs, or even Ms particularly (why should I have a title that indicates my gender, or also my marital status?). It's easier to have 1 title and 1 name, for both work and non-work. And fuck it, I worked hard for it.

[ArtemisatBrauron]

goal why? I assume you think it's also massively pretentious to call yourself mrs when you're married?! The degree comes with the title!

[WorraLiberty]

Hahahahaha!

I can just imagine my Niece asking me to address her Christmas cards to 'Doctor'

She'd be the laughing stock of the family and told to get right over herself (not that she would dream of it anyway).

It's a Christmas card/personal letter FFS, not an official document!

[TheCollieDog]

*@Artemis YANBU, but you are making the error of thinking that other people are sane, rational beings like yourself. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to courtesy titles, you must choose between the following 4 evils:

1. Miss: hasn't bagged a man, poor dear; belongs to father
   
2. Mrs: has bagged a man, is therefore adult; belongs to husband
   
3. Ms: man-hating feminist, has probably bagged a woman; belongs in lunatic asylum
   
4. Dr: uppity bluestocking with ideas above her station; belongs in pillory
   
   As a holder of a doctorate, I've opted for (4). Don't expect family and friends to use it, or indeed to use any courtesy title at all. But if anyone gives me any crap about PhDs using their title being pretentious I assume they are just being reverse-snobs. Then massively out-snob them by pointing out that actually I haven't got a PhD, but a D.Phil (an Oxbridge PhD) grin*
   
   Brilliant, Artemisia ! I have the title I was born with, a title from marriage (but was widowed v young), a PhD and the title conferred by my job. I tend to use "Dr" as that's the title I've actually earned. And when one is asked "Mrs or Miss?" I do find when I say "Doctor, actually, but otherwise Ms" generally people will apologise in an embarrassed way.
   
   When my handbag was stolen & I had to replace all my credit cards ages ago, I then changed my title. But I didn't bother when I got my chair to get everything changed to Professor, because life's too short.
   
   But really, would a man with a PhD worry about this? I really, really doubt it.

[crashdoll]

For work, YANBU but for family and friend, you would be VERY U.

[badbride]

@Helspopje LOL, I was wondering when I'd get pulled up on that one. It is indeed an Oxford thing. But my undergrad degree was indeed from The Other Place, and was "incorporated" into the Oxford DPhil malarkey when I arrived, so I'm not totally lying.

[ImperialBlether]

I agree with you, Medic.

If you have a PhD, which, let's face it, you've had to work incredibly hard for, for many years, your title is "Dr."

Why is it pretentious to call yourself Dr and not Mrs?

It makes me laugh reading MN at times; all these women who want to be called Mrs when all they did was get married - a lot of women retain Mrs even when they divorce, such is the status symbol. Everyone on here values education when it comes to their own children, but when it comes to a stranger on the internet, they suddenly feel free to tell them they are being pretentious if they change their title.

[MechanicalTheatre]

If I had a phd, you'd better believe that I would be using "doctor" on every document available.

[MechanicalTheatre]

And with family as well! You'd be pissed off if someone wrote "Mrs" when you were "Miss" and depressingly vice versa, so if your title is "Doctor" why the hell not?

Nothing pretentious about it.

[TheCollieDog]

If I had a phd, you'd better believe that I would be using "doctor" on every document available.

Although I'd advise you never to use it with medicos -- most of whom are not actually real doctors, but have the MB/BS degrees, and are called 'doctor' as a courtesy title (unless they have a proper PhD, that is).

But they get a bit snitty if you say this to them ...

[Goal]

I don't give a shiney shite if people refer to me as miss, mrs or ms. By all means use Dr at work if it is relevant but day to day it is. Simply pretentious. Those who think it normal, do you list you qualifications after you sign a letter?

[MechanicalTheatre]

Sometimes I'm sorely tempted Goal. SORELY.

[ArtemisatBrauron]

mechanical ha [grins] there is a hilarious bit in Terry Pratchett's Unseen Academicals where a character insides on all their post nominal letters being used in a football chant about them

[Goal]

Really? Why? Do you think it will change people's opinion of you? My experience has always been that those who list and or use their quals in a non work environment are intellectually or socially insecure.

[badbride]

@Goal: Do I sign myself as "BadBride, MA (Cantab), DPhil (Oxon)"? No. But I don't sign myself as "BadBride, possessor of two X chromosomes, bagged a man and got him wedlocked to me" either.

I don't know any PhDs who introduce themselves as "Dr" in informal, social settings (to do so would be silly). I use it only if someone insists on a title, usually some branch of officialdom.

[MechanicalTheatre]

I wouldn't say I'm insecure, but I find the whole Mrs/Miss/Ms thing a faff, and to be able to sidestep that and just use Dr would be great.

Beyond that, I would be so proud of myself for having risen from obscurity that I would be over-joyed. Vulgar, perhaps, but when you come from a shit background, it's a bit of a thrill.

[MechanicalTheatre]

High five badbride, I like your thinking.

[DeepRedBetty]

I haven't aspired to the giddy heights of a doctorate. But I do put my MA after my name on extremely formal letters.

The only person I've ever sniggered at about using his title was a teacher at a friend's private school who had inherited a baronetcy and insisted on the boys calling him Sir FirstName.

[Goal]

Formal work letters or other letters I.e to the bank. Formal work letters fair enough IF the qual is related to your work, anything else very prentious IMO.

[badbride]

@TheCollieDog Given the scarcity of top-level female academics, I'd say life is in no way too short to get everything changed to "Professor". I'd be tempted to get my car pimped out with a new paint job with badass flames and PROFESSOR plastered down the sides. Ditto a bike, if you have one :)

[MedicPeso]

I agree with badbride, if someone asks for a title, or is likely to ask for a title, I use it. Because, um, it's my title.

I wouldn't say 'Hello, I'm Dr Peso' at a party, just as I wouldn't say 'Hello, I'm Ms / Mrs Peso'. I would say 'Hello, I'm Medic'.

I realise that my current username isn't helping me to make my point.

[ArtemisatBrauron]

goal I would never introduce myself as Dr in an informal situation, there's no need, but on forms, letters etc I will use it because it's my title. I don't see what is pretentious about it any more than a woman using mrs on the same documentation once she's married.

[Goal]

I think there s no need unless it's relevant, same with Mrs!