To charge my employer for these childcare costs?

[DixieD]

I started a PT job about 6 months ago. It was always clear I was looking for PT as I had young kids. I work half seven to four to get home in the evenings to let the childminder go. This has been the arrangement since the beginning and everyone is happy with it.
DH works long hours, while I get home for 5 he is rarely home before 8. This is the nature of his job, it can't be helped. There have been a couple of occasions due to Board meetings that I have had to work later and DH has stepped in those evenings. Otherwise if I need to work later I've brought the laptop home and worked after the kids go to bed.
Anyway my boss needs me to go to the Milan office for a day. He wants me there for a full day so I need to go for two nights. I am happy to go. However there is no way DH can finish early both nights, so childminder will be minding the kids for extra hours one evening. Obviously I will have to pay her for this.
My question is would IBU to charge this as an expense of travelling? It is the fact I am abroad for two nights that I am incurring it. I think I've a case. DH thinks it cheeky. What do you think? AIBU?

[SimoneDeBeaver]

Yes, but Dixie you're still missing the point: YOUR DH SHOULD BE PAYING HALF OF ANY CHILDCARE COSTS, whichever hours he and you are working, for whatever amount.

So it would not be reasonable of you to claim the full costs from your employer.

But it seems anyway that it's your employer being cheeky here, so you absolutely should challenge him/her on these hours not being paid.

[Mintyy]

I haven't read the whole thread, I've read about half of it. I'm surprised to find myself one of a very few who think that the extra childcare is a legitimate expense to claim. Op is only incurring this cost because she is being asked to work outside her contracted hours.

[Saski]

If you're a professional who is expected to travel, it's inappropriate to request childcare costs resulting from travel- that's your problem to sort out. This is a part of a salary negotiation.

I think it undermines your credibility to talk these kinds of things in the workplace.

[Somethingtothinkabout]

Since when was sitting in a hotel room in a different city/country for 2nights considered "working extra hours"? You're not actually working outside of normal office hours, your just not at home, there's a big difference.

I spent 9 months working in a different place every week, never got a penny extra for it, when I was lying in a hotel room or out for drinks with my colleagues after guyapm.u "working", much as I hated every minute of it

If travel was a possibility in your role then when you took the job then you just need to suck it up.

[Somethingtothinkabout]

you're*

[Somethingtothinkabout]

after, I wasn't working*

Meh, I give up on typing!

[hugoagogo]

Something The op is being asked to work on her day off, she's not asking to be paid for her non working hours.

In fact if I have understood correctly; she isn't even asking to be paid for her extra work hours, merely considering asking for the extra childcare costs incurred whilst she is away to be paid by her employer.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

It's not clear that she is working on her day off, hugo

[jamaisjedors]

Will be interested to hear the outcome.

This issue comes up a lot for me because I travel quite a lot for my job which everyone thinks must be great, but I am often seriously out of pocket due to extra childcare.

DH and I share pick-ups/drop-offs, if I'm not there our childcare costs double.

Would LOVE to work in a job where travel meant overtime or time in lieu...

[Hissy]

The travel us during her 3 working days a week. The hours, clearly not. Op normally works between 7 and 4, so that she can be home for childcare.

Tbh, I would very tempted to raise this. It is as much an expense of her business trip as a tsxi to the airport.

[Stepissue]

I don't work Fridays. I recently was asked to work a Friday because of a special 'thing' happening at work. My dd is in nursery mon - thurs but not on a Friday as she is at home with me.

I asked my work to pay the £40 nursery fee for that Friday as otherwise I was paying £40 to work. They agreed.

Would that be considered cheeky?

[Gintonic]

Wow I can't believe how many people think this is "cheeky".

My DH has claimed for costs of childcare when he was away due to an emergency at work. His company didn't bat an eyelid, it's peanuts to them, especially if it results in winning a new contract.

The op is already being very flexible, a decent employer would recognise this and meet her halfway by ensuring she is not out of pocket.

You will not be seen as "cheeky" if you raise this in the right way. Everywhere I have worked I have come across people who really take the mick with expenses, claiming ridiculous and totally unjustified things, I am sure op's employer will have had way more unreasonable requests.

[MerryCouthyMows]

Why can't your DH take flexi time that day? Are your DC's under 5yo? Why SHOULDN'T he ask for time off to cover while you are away?

Why is the childcare (and any associated extra costs incurred through you being away while your DH is at work) all out of YOUR salary?

Why can't your DH ask to go into work early that day in order to leave early and be home for the childminder?

Why can't your DH cover half of the extra childcare costs, or even a percentage based on the relative proportion of yours and his earnings?

Are the childcare costs all coming out of your salary in the first place?

If so, why? The children have two parents. If your DH brings in 70% of the household income, and you bring in 30%, then surely he should pay 70% of any and all childcare costs, and you should pay 30%?

I can't understand why people don't work it out like that.

Even though my ex and I aren't together, he has agreed that if I was ever in a position medically where I was able to go back to work PT (certainly not able right now), he would pay a percentage if the childcare costs relative to our respective incomes - though I would get TC's, we would split the portion left over, and he would pay it as additional maintenance.

Childcare when both parents work should be the financial responsibility of BOTH parents, split according to their earnings. Both parents have a financial responsibility towards their DC's.

Shit like this angers me. It often seems to be that childcare costs are left to be paid out of the income of the Mother, even if she is the lower earner. Why do do many women let men put all that financial responsibility on them?

It's bad enough that childcare costs when both parents work aren't added to maintenance when they are no longer in a relationship - if it was, there would be a significant reduction in the amount of Tax Credits that needed to be paid out - but when you ARE actually in a relationship? WTF?!

A man's job is no more important than a woman's job, even if that man is a CEO working FT and the woman is working in a supermarket PT. they are equally important to those people.

I just wouldn't put up with it, tbh!

[DixieD]

Merry My DH is taking some time to cover childcare. As i said in my OP he is leaving early one of the nights I am away. He is just not able to do it two evenings running due to work commitments.
Our finances are completely joint. Everything gets paid into a joint account. I manage the money, and DH never queries it. So he pays his fair share of childcare. It is all family money. If anything I have more access to it than him. I have no idea why my situation would upset you so much. I have never implied that DH does not do his fair share financially or otherwise. I think he is being fair that when I am away two nights he (and his employer) covers one night through him leaving early (when he is paid for working long hours), and the other is covered by childcare, which we both pay for. My question was whether it was reasonable to ask if my employer should cover that childcare since it has arisen solely because I am been sent away.

Thanks for all your replies. Replies have convinced me that both DH and I had a point. I may have a case but it could be viewed as cheeky. I think in the interest of banking some goodwill and as it is (hopefully) just a one off, we will pay the childminder ourselves and revisit if it happens again.

[spiffysquiffyspiggy]

Merry, you have a point about splitting childcare costs for periods when both parents are due to be at work according to their contacts. It is time outside of that norm that us being debated. The family do have childcare arrangements for that time, the OP. If it was the other way round and the childcare was provided by her dh and they asked him to work outside of his agreed hours then I'd say her husband's employer should be approached. I agree with you that childcare costs should not be only the woman's problem- it is one of my pet hates but this issue is something slightly different.

OP, if thus is a situation that is likely to happen again then ask now. It's much easier when it is a new situation than when it has become an established pattern.

[ChunkyPickle]

I'm with spiffy - if it's likely to happen again you should raise the issue now. I don't think that you're being cheeky at all - when I or DP is sent abroad for work we are paid a daily amount of 'subsistence' to cover extra expenses incurred while away from home (laundry, having to eat out etc.). To me, extra childcare is also one of those expenses.

Travel for work is rarely a pleasure, and I do think that the level of disruption it causes to your life needs to be compensated for.