to ask for an elective ceseran even though theres no reason i cant have a normal delivery?

[ditsydoll]

There's absolutely no medical reason that I couldn't give birth. I have a wonderful almost 4yo DD and had a pretty good delivery with her.

However, this time round I'm terrified, not of the pain but of something happening to be during labour or birth.

I keep having nightmares about dying and leave my beautiful DD without a mum. It's really starting to get to me and its just making me miserable. I keep trying to forget about it and enjoy my pregnancy and DD but it's starting to consume me.

Tried talking to Dp and he thinks I'm being silly.

Help

[CloudsAndTrees]

YANBU. As long as you are going to pay for it yourself.

[tiredofwaitingforitalltochange]

Hospitals have systems in place to ensure no emergency case would have to wait- they run two theatres where I had my c/s. Set days for having planned c/s. And careful monitoring of women in labour, so if an emcs is needed that will be pre-empted. A planned c/s would be delayed for an emcs.

This is wishful thinking. Obstetrics is just about the most unpredictable area of medicine.

Of course hospitals have systems in place, but they are not bullet-proof, it's just not possible sadly.

Do you really think having elective sections on 'set days' makes a difference? Emergencies unfold any time and often concurrently. An elective C section means a theatre and a team not available for an emergency. I've been at meetings in the hospital I'm working at where 'near misses' have been discussed and one of the factors behind things going horribly wrong is having expert staff tied up in theatre with an elective section. If in the meantime another emergency section takes place and another woman's baby on the labour ward suddenly decompensates, the stat c section that woman needs is delayed for crucial minutes. Baby is born flat and goes to NICU. Or, less dramatically, that 'careful monitoring of women in labour' isn't as careful as it should be because there aren't enough staff out on the ward because they are in theatres. It happens, sorry.

There are plenty of clinical indications for elective C section but 'maternal choice' isn't one of them. We all know that maternity units are overstretched and it is beyond doubt that the increasing number of elective C sections for 'maternal choice' will at times end up compromising care of other mothers and babies - however good the systems are.

We've all paid our taxes but there is still a limited amount of resources to go round, even in the best units in the biggest hospitals. C sections for maternal choice that aren't indicated clinically are not the best use of those resources.

[doublecakeplease]

Tired - exactly what i mean! Unfortunately the guidelines people are referring to didn't come with an endless pot of free money or extra theatres or extra staff.

The lady who said she'd go to the back of the queue if an emergency came in - what if you were 5 minutes into your elective?

[PolkadotCircus]

An emergency c/s is a whole world away than a planned section.Both types of section are done often on riskier more complicated patients hence the slight bigger risk in the figures which are still fab in this country. A planed section is going to be hugely safer but the figures will still be counted as the same.

Again re cost the follow up care and reconstructive surgery needed for a lot of vb patients must cost billions and be a false economy to be frank if people are going to bleat about cost.

One of my sections was done by one of the best c/s consultants who has written a lot on the subject.All I cared about was my babies living,said consultant was of the opinion a c/ was safest for babies hands down.

Soo glad to hear about the NICE rules.Choice is available across the NHS and it annoys the hell out of me that women are treated like naughty little school girls when they want a choice over something as momentous as birth.The lack of true info re vb and the implications is appalling imvho -it's 2013 not 1813.

Op I hope you get what you want,try to get an appointment so you can start planning and enjoying the rest of your pregnancy.If you go for a C/s it is over in 20 mins,literally the minute you hear your baby cry they're stitching you up. I was amazed and loved both of mine.You can have skin to skin and it's a very calm atmosphere.Good luck!

[maddening]

II would look at dealing with the anxiety before deciding

[lollilou]

If you are in the uk and want an elective c-section but the nhs won't pay for it how much would it cost to go private? Not that I do, those days are long gone Just curious.

[DeeBeee]

I had an elective section with my only DC, it was a lovely civilised experience. I was up and about from the next day onwards. Can highly recommend it in my experience

[GirlOutNumbered]

I've had two, one emergency and one planned.

Recovery was fine, I was home the next day from planned one. It was a fabulous experience. Music on, chatting and joking with staff, baby relaxed and feed for forty minutes in recovery.

[PeneloPeePitstop]

Entirely your decision.

It seems to me though that if your fears are based around safety then natural delivery has fewer serious risks, as in life altering risks. You have to remember that whilst there is nothing 'wrong' in c sec in that it isn't inferior (have had 3 myself) it is still major abdominal surgery with all the risks that entails - blood loss, potential infection etc.

You need to think hard about the situation in a pragmatic way rather than having your emotions rule you on this. Perhaps counselling could help you with that thought process?

[Fanjounchained]

YANBU but maybe being a wee bit naive in your assumption that a planned CS will mean less complications and be safer.

I've been terrified of childbirth for as long as I can remember ( I put it down to seeing a documentary on c4 when I was a kid showing a woman giving birth, I had nightmares after it) I didn't ask for a CS with DS but spoke to the midwife and they tried to reassure me as much as possible. As it turned out, I ended up needing an emergency CS with DS1 which I found pretty traumatic. Although I was up and walking around easily enough afterwards (most of the midwifes didn't believe I'd had a CS until they saw the scar) I had a lot of complications afterwards with infections in my wound. With DD I was still scared of labour given my experience first time and was offered a section when it was confirmed she was lying the same way as DS. Whilst the delivery itself was far calmer I had lots of problems again with my wound and this time the infection spread into my womb. Feeling shit with two wee ones and barely being able to lift them isn't nice. I often wonder how things would have turned out if I'd tried for a natural birth with DD.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[hippoherostandinghere]

I will never be jealous of women who do child birth naturally. For me a VB was horrendous so I had a subsequent elective CS. That's what was best for me because my first birth led me to be terrified of child birth.

People will always debate what's worse but you'll never get your answer because its so different for every one. My CS was a walk in the park compared to my VB. you should see your consultant and ask the question only he can tell you if it's possible. Good luck.

[AbbyCat]

Yanbu. C/s are safer for babies but normal delieries are safer for mums. (Marginally). I wanted an el c/s for personal reasons with dc1 but went into labour at 37w and ended up with an emergency c/s anyway. Ha an elective c/s with dc2. It was a wonderful stress free experience. I loved it.

[AmberSocks]

abbycat that is such bollocks.what a stupid thing to say.

i personally believe those who never experience natural birth as it should be are missing out big time.

[Ragwort]

You can ask, but you might not get one. I asked for an ELCS but was refused, I ended up having an EMCS - I was delighted - absolutely no complications - but it must have cost the NHS a lot more than an agreeing to an ELCS in the first place.

And no, Amber, I absolutely do not feel I am missing out big time by not having experienced a 'natural' birth. Why do people get so evangelical about vaginal births?

[PolkadotCircus]

Pmsl errr several people I know don't say that,I won't list the reasons why in consideration of the op.

I've got 3 children and never even had a labour pain-ignorance is bliss!

[maddening]

Ps if you decide to go for vb or are refused elcs then maybe try the hypnobirth techniques - not in order to do hypnobirth but as the relaxation techniques use positive visualisation etc they kept me calm during a back to back labour with a larger baby.

Hope you have a lovely birth whichever way you go - once you're cuddling your newborn it won't matter how it happened.

[elliejjtiny]

I had the opposite problem to you, I wanted a homebirth but I was high risk and it wouldn't have been a good idea. I'd previously had a very traumatic miscarriage, then a homebirth, then an attempted homebirth with emergency transfer which was medically straightforward but emotionally traumatic). My midwife arranged for me to have an appointment with the supervisor of midwives. We went through my birth plan together and talked about my various fears. It made a huge difference and I had a lovely VB with DS3. Would you find something like that helpful?

[hackmum]

My feeling is YANBU - I think hospitals should do what the patient requests, and if you are happy having a c-section, then I see no reason why you shouldn't ask for one (though not so sure they will let you have one without a strong medical reason).

However, I would also suggest seeing if you could get treatment for your anxiety. I am very similar to you in that I worry hugely about everything and see danger everywhere. When my DD was 4 I had to go on a long plane journey for work and was terrified of the plane crashing and me leaving her behind. It's not great to live your life like that, so something like CBT might help.

Good luc,.

[valiumredhead]

Entirely your decision

Iirc you can't chose on the NHS, they don't let you unless there is a really sound medical reason unless I have that completely wrong. You can of course go privately.

Treatment for anxiety sounds more sensible an option than major surgery.

Best of luck x

[Wishihadabs]

Yanbu to think you might want an elcs. However having had 1straight forward birth you are about as low risk as it gets for a second. I believe (and am ready to be corrected) that you have the lowest rate of complications if you have a vaginal 2nd birth.

FWIW I was in and out in 6 hours with my second. Cannot believe a section could be more relaxed than that.

[MyDarlingClementine]

I was in for not much longer and yes the section was more relaxed because I felt safe.

[GirlOutNumbered]

Sorry amber that's hilarious... What bit about vaginal birth did I miss out on.

[hippoherostandinghere]

Amber how ridiculous, I Would rather be missing out big time than ever go through that horrendous experience that was a VB. Some people just don't do natural labour.