To be a Non-Driver that doesn't expect lifts.

[usualsuspect]

Or am I a rarity?it would seem so reading all the moaning about giving people lifts threads on MN ATM.

[seeker]

I don't think any of the non drivers have said that they think drivers are mean for not offering lifts. It's paranoid drivers who think that in the very act of not having a car means someone is demanding a lift 30 miles out of the drivers way!

[Maebe]

I don't think anyone on this thread has said that drivers are mean for not offering lifts?

I agree with stickemup - driving is seen as the default position nowadays, which is why non-drivers are sometimes seen as a bit odd. Even the 'I live in London' explanation is seen as a cliche, even though it's more hassle than it's worth to have a car in most of London, and I barely knew anyone who did own one the whole time we lived there (especially the places where 20-somethings tend to live in London: Islington, Balham, those sorts of places).

Personally I get a little frustrated sometimes that the default is to do something that costs so much money to learn to do, and to continue doing, when there are perfectly other reasonable ways of getting around.

I've found often that it's the long-term drivers who haven't had to use public transport or walk a fair distance for a while that think you must want a lift because they couldn't imagine walking 30 minutes to meet someone for coffee. I'm not implying they're lazy or anything, just that as they haven't had to do it, they see it as something less pleasurable or more onerous than it is to someone who is used to it.

[seeker]

Nope. Never. I have been driving for 30 years. I have never felt anyone was "using me for my car"

[Domjolly]

I lost a friend like this i started driving and she suddley expected me to help do her weekly shop told my anutie i got up myself since i started driving
She baiscally stopped coming to my home once i started driving expecting me to always pick her up and drop her home

[dexter73]

When do you think it became the default then? I was only saying that 40 years ago it was the norm to have a car where I lived.

[dexter73]

I have no idea what you are on about now, so no you didn't make a good point!

[usualsuspect]

Hardly anyone had a car where I grew up.It certainly wasn't the norm.I am quite old though.

[GrowSomeCress]

I, as a non-driver, am sick to the back teeth of constantly being pestered by various people about when I'm going to learn to drive, why I'm not, how I cope, etc, as if it's some sort of deficiency

[OliviaMumsnet]

Ahem.

[Purple2012]

Also, I had a car for over 20 years. I don't have any stories of non drivers expecting me to ferry them around.

[DameMargotFountain]

hide your keys, people, looks like Olivia wants a lift

[Callycat]

InMySpareTime, I have experienced that. I find it a bit embarrassing to be offered lifts - it is usually well-meant, but I'm a grown up who doesn't need help to get around. But drivers can be like Mrs bloody Doyle in their persistence. I like walking, darn it!

[usualsuspect]

I should have kept a tighter reign on my thread.

Sorry Olivia, I got distracted by Emmerdale.

[usualsuspect]

rein?

[Whatdoiknowanyway]

My DDs both drive but we live 5mins from the tube and so when going out for the evening they tend to use public transport.
Except their friends and their friends' parents insist on driving them home. It drives them bananas and it annoys me too, particularly when they were younger (16, 17 say). We live on a well lit, busy route from the tube station. There was absolutely no point in their dad or me hanging around to pick them up when it was quicker and easier for them to come home by tube.
But those parents judged us big time and that irked me.

[BrianButterfield]

I am sometimes amused when people get chips on their shoulders about not offering me a lift, when I didn't expect one, want one and wouldn't have accepted one anyway! I take ds on the train with me in the morning and walk a mile to drop him off at nursery opposite work. I like walking and the time with him so except in extreme weather I don't mind, and even then I get togged up and just grit my teeth and get through it. I might complain about being cold or snowed on but only to the same extent that drivers complain about road conditions. We just share the annoyances of our journeys, basically.

Anyway, once I got to nursery and was a bit damp. The nursery worker at the door commented on how it mustn't have been a nice walk, and I just said, as I tend to, that it was OK really, I don't have far to go now, I'm used to it etc. Just matter-of-fact, not martyrish. Another mum was there doing drop off too and she started going on about how she saw me every day, and she felt so sorry for me, and she would stop, really she would, but then there were pushchairs and car seats and it was too difficult.... all this to the nursery worker, not to me. Basically she felt guilty about it, and just had to make sure I knew that. I never even noticed her driving past me until that day!

[EchoBitch]

I'll give anyone a lift,i even pick up hitch hikers when i do long journeys.

I especially give lifts to mates from the pub when i haven'nt been drinking.

[EchoBitch]

And no,i don't ask for petrol money.