To let my eleven month old get up at 9.30pm for a play downstairs

[KD0706]

So, DD has always been a great sleeper. She settled at 7pm, woke once or twice in the night for a feed and slept till 7.30-8ish.

But the past month or so, she's still been settling well at 7pm, but waking at 9.30-10ish and taking 1-1 1/2 hours to settle back to sleep.

Last night, fed up of pacing my bedroom floor for an hour each evening, I brought her downstairs. She had a little play, we had a little cuddle. Then I took her upstairs at about 11pm, gave her a feed and she slept through till 5.30am.

Best nights sleep I've had in weeks (since she's been unsettled in the evenings she's also been waking lots in the night).

So, thoughts on whether it's just mental to let her play at this time of night in exchange for a decent nights sleep. (I'm also considering giving her porridge or similar at this time to see if I can get even longer sleep out of her)

[Tee2072]

I did that. My 3.8 year old now sleeps 7 - 7.

Bullshit you're setting it up for a lifetime. There is no lifetime setting anything up at that age.

Do what feels right. Ignore the bullshit artists who think they know everything.

[Kiwiinkits]

I'm not implying that the only time you have sex is 9.30pm BTW. My point was rather that 9.30-11pm is nice, quiet, baby and child free zone. And it's nice to keep that a little bit sacred.

[Kiwiinkits]

[I do know everything]

[KD0706]

No worries fluffy.

I know what you mean about an unbroken night.

But at the moment I feel I have a choice between an hour or more of shush pat, room pacing etc in the late evening followed by two-three hourly wake ups, or an hour of baby being downstairs followed by a full six hours sleep.

Will see how tonight goes. If she happily sits with us for a while then has a good nights sleep, I think I'll stick with that for a while.

[YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue]

I used to take them downstairs, it was just a phase. Better than getting all stressy upstairs. It soon passed.

[RobinSparkles]

I used to do it with DD2. We didn't take her downstairs often (only because we tend to go upstairs to watch TV in bed) but she would come to sit in bed with us and cuddle etc until she started rubbing her eyes then it was off to bed for her.

She's brilliant now. She's almost 2 and sleeps from 7.30pm till 7.30 am .

[KD0706]

Bit of x posts there.

My first thought was something along the lines of 'I can have sex at other times you know'!!

I do understand what you're saying.

The nap issue is that I have an older daughter who I need to transport to activities. If DD2 falls asleep at the wrong time she just has a short nap then won't fall asleep at proper nap time. Historically that hasn't affected night time sleep.

I hear what you say about 9.30-11 being a nice baby free time but currently it's not. I'm not doing any of the lovely activities you've listed. I'm paving the floor and shushing and patting and getting frustrated. I've persevered with it for weeks and I'm kind of coming to the end of my tether.

I am listening to people's opinions, please don't think I'm dismissing anything. I'm still humming it over but leaning towards the 'lazy' version

[KD0706]

That was to kiwiinkits btw

[Kiwiinkits]

"I feel I have a choice between an hour or more of shush pat, room pacing etc in the late evening followed by two-three hourly wake ups, or an hour of baby being downstairs followed by a full six hours sleep."

Don't want to thrash the point, but you actually have another choice here.
Get her up at the same time in the morning, structure a midday sleep, put her to bed at a consistent time at night. A lot easier than shush pat room pacing etc. Also a lot easier than baby entertaining in your precious evening time.

FFS you're turning me into an evangelical Gina Ford!

[Hulababy]

Do what feels right for you and your child.
There is no real right or wrong. The babies haven't read the rule books you see - they just do what they want.

It won't last for ever either. More social hours will come with time.

[dashoflime]

I'm reading this with interest.

My DS is 6 months and sleeps from midnight to 8 am. He just falls asleep at the breast and I put him down, then go to sleep myself.

I sometimes wonder about setting a bedtime, but it seems crazy to try to force him to sleep when he's not sleepy- especially when overall we are all getting a full night.

[Kiwiinkits]

YY I understand about the transport to activities thing. We have the same problem, the short naps in the carseat threatening to f** up the longer nap. Much much easier to have a routine for a first baby than a second, isn't it.

[Hulababy]

I never went for the whole routine thing tbh much though! We just went with the flow. DD is 10y now and appears to be able to sleep on her own okay, and for the full recommended length of time.

[KD0706]

Gina kiwi
I acknowledge your point. I am probably too lazy to enforce a wake up time. If she sleeps in then I'm usually really chuffed and have to do the same.

She has her midday nap the vast majority of the time but if she falls asleep in the car when taking her sister eg to playgroup then naps do go awry.

Acht, I'm just making excuses here aren't I!! I guess maybe I'm too lazy for enforced routine. Will ponder on it.

[Viviennemary]

I'd try to avoid this if possible apart from a one off ifshe really couldn't settle. Because if you do it as a matter of routine she will get into that sleep pattern of waking at 9.30 for a nice play downstairs. I'd change the routine a little so she goes to bed a bit later.

[Egusta]

I agree about babies not reading the books. DS (2 years and7 months) goes to bed at 8.15, and has done since he was tiny. He then sleeps until well after 8 in the am. He naps during the day- 2.30-4.30-ish. He is usually hyper hyper (and leaping off the couch re-creating 'splash' at 7.30) then at 8.15 sayd 'to bed?' and goes. We have never had routine- this has just evolved.

We never worked on times, we just went with - whatever- and in the end whatever suited us.

[Startail]

Naps???

These are mysterious things that only DC1 have.

OK its a long time ago, but I don't recall DD2 ever taking a nap on week days from very very young. Well she slept on her full day at nursery, but never at home.

At 11.15 she looked sleepy at 11.30 we left to pick up her sister from pre-school.

Sister was much too interesting for any further interest in nap.

Then she'd BF to sleep at 9pm after aforementioned non going to bed big sister.

repeat until long after she started school.

A lucky sod, who's DCs went to bed said children got tired when they started school.

Mine are now at secondary and I'm still waiting.

[Startail]

went to bed at 6.30

[Egusta]

Startail i thank my lucky stars that Ds still naps! i work now mostly from home.... and do most of my conference calling from 3pm. :)

None of my friends with DCs his age still naps. [ssssh..... don't tell DS]

[catkind]

In my house trying to persuade babies to be asleep when they're not ready just results in them crying till the time they would have gone to sleep anyway, and then maybe being too het up from the crying to sleep. Def worth a try if it seems to work for you. I'd try not to interact too much at that time so it's clear it's still "night time" but let them play rather than try to keep them in a darkened room. I think there's every chance she'll naturally stop waking at that time next time the naps and bedtimes shift a bit.

Yes it's partly I'm too lazy for enforced routine. But also I don't really see the point, it feels to me that anything you try to enforce might be right on some days but on other days it will be fighting their natural rhythms. I can't go to sleep if I'm not tired, I don't see how I can expect my children to. The long term goal for me is for them to find sleep non-threatening, recognise when they're tired and be able to fall asleep easily and happily.

[VitoCorleone]

I do this with my 10 month old.

He goes to bed at 7 and usually wakes up about 9pm and wont go back to sleep so i let him have a little crawl about and play for an hour or so then feed him and put him back in bed.

He sleeps til about 7:30am - 8am.

[LouMae]

Why are people so obsessed with the 7-7? As a small baby, DS quickly settled into a 10pm-10am routine which I loved. He slept soundly and always has. I was only sadly forced to get him into an earlier routine when I went back to work. At 7, I let him stay up late in the holidays or weekends and he is always guaranteed to sleep a solid 11 hours from whenever he falls asleep, which is bloody brilliant cause i love lie ins! Why does it matter what time they get their sleep, if they get their sleep and it fits in with the family's routine?

[KD0706]

Well after all this umming and ah-ing madam hasn't stirred so far tonight.

I'm off to bed. No doubt as soon as my head hits the pillow DD will be bright and awake.

[Xmasbaby11]

I would accept she is up and not force her down, but maybe stay in the bedroom for quiet time. Don't bring her into a stimulating environment of lights and noise. It's not a good habit.

[stopgap]

I take the same approach with naps. My 18-month-old sleeps 6.30-6.30, but his naps are terrible. Sometimes he takes an hour nap, but mostly takes a single, half-hour nap all day. Rather than sit next to his crib and try to (uselessly) get him back to sleep, I just pop him in the carrier when he wakes and potter about until he's fully awake.