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AIBU?

to want to cry my heart out at...

34 replies

InTheNightGarden · 04/02/2013 02:38

Having such STUPIDLY sore nips!!!

Only had my baby Saturday so milks not even properly come in yet but my god they are sooo sore and almost look blistered after I feed!

Soo close to just giving up but Id feel like a failure if I did!

Totally don't know what to do and the midwife at the hosp seemed to think "attachment and position" were perfect....so why does it sting so much and why are they so bloody sore :(

OUCHHHHHHHHHHH :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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Teafairy · 06/02/2013 14:33

I could have written this when I had DD1!! In the hospital they were convinced she was attached properly and that 'some pain' is normal...i'd never done it before, so didn't feel I could argue that it just didn't feel right. I didn't want to sound like a wuss, it was really painful so stupidly kept quiet, after all, they kept telling me she was on properly and I was convinced they knew better. By the time I got home my nipples were cracked and bleeding and I cried every time I fed her. My midwife took one look and told me to stop trying and express for a few days until i'd healed , then the local breast feeding support person came out and spent some time with me, she spotted that DD wasn't attached properly, she just looked like she was thanks to her 'extra rolls' as she put it, once i'd healed, I was able to get her back attached really well and then she BF until nearly 2 when she decided she'd had enough...so there is hope! Smile I also second nipple cream!! Lansinoh was really good for me!

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SocialClimber · 06/02/2013 14:21

10 second rule. Hurts like a bastard.

It will get better. Keep going. X

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MummytoKatie · 06/02/2013 13:55

Agree with the Lansinoh suggestion. Put it on both sides after every feed. (Even if you are only feeding on one side.)

Also find something that tells you the benefits of each day of feeding. At this stage every day makes a difference and I can remember staring at the chart and thinking "only 2 more feeds and I'll have made it to 4 days and that means.."

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ArtsMumma · 06/02/2013 00:18

Im so glad you got sorted out with some lansinoh and a good specialist. Don't let anyone tell you that the natural way comes naturally- it doesn't! You have to work at it, I wish someone had told me before I started feeding my baby that it wouldn't just happen magically. Regarding the thrush, if you had it downstairs, get someone to check you and baby over. You can pass it back and forth to eachother over and over and it can be hard to detect. Keep up the good work, you have a fantastic attitude! x

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InTheNightGarden · 05/02/2013 02:05

*hear, not heard! ... defiantly time to get some sleep clearly!

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InTheNightGarden · 05/02/2013 02:04

jojobump I love your phrase, you can't fail because it's not a test! I will be saying this to myself in my head regularly :) and to others if I heard them struggling to feed too!!

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InTheNightGarden · 05/02/2013 02:02

Thank you sooo much ladies!

I got in such a tizz last night I rang the hv this morning and she sent over this lovely lady who was an infant feeding specialist, she had a feel and look for tongue tie but said there is no obvious sign of him having it unless it's a minor one but that won't be picked up until he's abit older/bigger. Also the latch wasn't right, he was only taking a small amount of my nipple in his mouth and drawing it to the roof of his mouth which was making them bleed! (Fingers crossed this will stop now) I've got lansinoh, the best advise I was given and it was by you lovely ladies!

Ones so sore that I'm having to express it and cup feed him it but the other I'm still attaching him too! Who knew feeding your baby the most natural way there is was so technical and hard!

It is still stupidly painful but I'm getting through the pain by counting, by the time I'm at 40 the pain isn't so bad!

Also now wondering about thrush as I had and properly still have that "down below" from pregnancy but the docs couldn't and wouldn't really do much for it till after he was born and after I've breastfed so I wonder if I've passed it to him and then back to my boobiesssss! I'll go to the docs and quirey this too!

For now I'm sticking at it the best I can, looking at my little boys face now I can't go giving up in him!!!

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ArtsMumma · 04/02/2013 15:24

I sympathise! I was in such agony with sore nips after my son was born that my mum had to hold him to feed while I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. I told my health visitor and showed her my nips. She looked in ds' mouth and was able to tell me we both had thrush. There was nothing thrushy to see on my breasts but ds' mouth had a white coating. The pain was unreal, truly horrible. I was given gel to put in baby's mouth and on my nips and it took a while to clear up (lots of fresh air and sunlight on my boobs and a very strict hot washing routine as well) but I was SOOOO glad I continued to feed. Get checked for thrush and ask for your positioning and latch etc to be checked by the health visitor or by other bf mums at a bf support group. Lansinoh is great and cabbage leaves help relieve achy breasts too. I had cracked, bleeding, swollen, deformed nips and the doctor was shocked to see them but I got through it and fed for 2 years. If you cant get through it, then dont let anyone make you feel like you have failed. Your baby needs a happy Mummy more than anything else. Good luck, and feel free to get in touch if you do find out it is thrush, there are lots of things you can do to help it clear up.

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SilverSixpence · 04/02/2013 15:09

How are you doing Inthenightgarden?

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McNewPants2013 · 04/02/2013 08:30

Congratulation on the birth Thanks

Take it easy on yourself breast feeding is best but your emotional well being is more important.

It may get better but if you make the decision to bottle feed, then in no way you are a failure.

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nillynoon · 04/02/2013 08:20

Lansing, lots of it. Jelonet or mam nipple pads. Let the air get to your nipples and rub breastmilk in to them after a feed. Search YouTube for 'the flipple' or exaggerated latch, that technique saved my nipples!

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JollyRedGiant · 04/02/2013 07:27

Do not use nipple shields this early on unless you are advised to do so by someone knowledgeable who has observed you feeding.

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JollyRedGiant · 04/02/2013 07:25

kellymom.com/ this website is amazing.

If you have a local NCT or La Leche League they will likely be more knowledgeable about BFing than a lot of midwives.

Remember, it gets better.

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fuzzypicklehead · 04/02/2013 07:22

It will also improve when your milk is in proper flow. During the early days, babies just suckle forever to get the colostrum and stimulate flow. Once your milk is in:
--baby is full up in a much shorter time, so your boobs get a rest.
--you get a nice rush of happy hormones during letdown that eases the pain.

Cold cabbage leaves were quite helpful then too.

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Fairypants · 04/02/2013 06:56

I remember it being very painful for the first few days and I really had to steel myself before every feed. It came as a surprise because nct and mw were so keen to encourage bfing that they forgot to mention the pain. It does go in a few days, it just takes a while for your nipples to get used to it.
It is normal to hurt in the early days but does get better.

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MerryCouthyMows · 04/02/2013 06:55

Get your baby checked for tongue tie. NOT by a midwife or HV, they may well miss it if it is a posterior tongue tie.

As soon as I read your OP, it took me back to the early days trying to feed DS2, and then DS3.

I had DD and DS1 to compare it to, so I KNEW it wasn't right.

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ScillyCow · 04/02/2013 06:45

could be thrush.

Canasten on my nipples, washed off before every feed, sorted me out.

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BlameItOnTheBogey · 04/02/2013 06:07

This is what I mean. YOu can buy it in boots.

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BlameItOnTheBogey · 04/02/2013 06:06

Jelonet is your friend. Go to the chemist, buy some. After each feed, cut a piece to size and place it on your nipple with some nipple cream. Take it off again before next feed. My amazing midwife recommended this and I wonder whey everyone doesn't know about it. It literally saved my breast feeding relationship.

Goo luck.

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Arachnophobe · 04/02/2013 05:53

Good Luck and well done it really will get easier I agree all advice above re:tongue tie/positioning/take painkillers etc. Nipple shields helped me when they were in a bad way and letting the air to them in between. Nine months later I only bf during night now as he has six teeth wince

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FadBook · 04/02/2013 05:42

Have you taken painkillers?? New mums always forget that part. You can take paracetamol and ibruprofen, it'll take the edge off the pain.

Def get checked for TT

Def get yourself down a BF cafe to drink tea and get some RL support

Also remember, only one poor latch can do a lot of damage, so get correct positioning and latch each time. Take your time and if it doesn't feel right, take DC off and start again.

And finally, YADNBU to cry. Cry away! It fuckin hurts when nipples are like that but it does and can get better. The BF Boards may help but RL support is important in the early days.

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SilverSixpence · 04/02/2013 05:18

Definitely use nipple shields, they helped me get through the worst of the pain and let my nipples heal a bit.

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SilverSixpence · 04/02/2013 05:17

I'm just a few days further along the road. I was in agony, nipples bleeding with every feed. Posted on here and some lovely mumsnetters suggested tongue tie. I did some reading and checked dd myself before taking her to a bf clinic where it was confirmed. I got it snipped the next day and we are now nearly pain free after only 2-3 days!

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SilverSixpence · 04/02/2013 05:13

I'm just a few da

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BuntyCollocks · 04/02/2013 04:00

Echoing advice about checking for tongue tie. Google exaggerated latch as well. It's so tough - no one warns you. I'm sat here feeding my 5 week old and it's been a shit, rough journey, but we're almost on the other side. Good luck.

Also, as I've been told - if it looks right, but feels wrong, it's not right!

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