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AIBU?

Young children watching adults play games

62 replies

Lara2 · 03/02/2013 11:49

I'm prepared to be flamed but this is something that really gets to me. I teach Reception and on a regular basis over the last few years, most noticeably 3 times this week with 3 different children, I have found myself saying "If you're too little to play the game, you're too little to watch". These are 4 year olds who watch their parents play things like Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto etc. What the hell goes through parents' heads? These games have ratings for a reason - would they let them watch an 18 rated movie ( no, don't answer that!)? It does frustrate and upset me that I often have to pick up the pieces at work in the form of inappropriate play/behaviour or distressed children. I do mention it to parents but usually get brushed off with a casual comment and a look that clearly says that I should be minding my own business! But if I don't say anything, who will? I am very careful how I approach the subject, and certainly do it professionally and non-judgementally. AIBU?

OP posts:

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pollypandemonium · 06/02/2013 13:23

It's neglect which is a form of child abuse.

Ilovexmastime · 05/02/2013 09:04

YANBU. Why on earth would anyone think that it's ok for their kids to watch something so violent? I really don't get it.

diddl · 05/02/2013 07:33

I think that´s it-it comes across as children being blamed for something that is the parents fault.

I´m sure that that is just my reading of the wording of the OP.

diddl · 05/02/2013 07:28

I suppose I´m just thinking that parents who let their children see this sort of thing won´t take any notice if the child says "I don´t want to see this" and I have visions of them getting into trouble!

Obviously I don´t know them or the parents so am more than likely projecting.

Of course OP is better to say something rather than nothing in the hope that it will stop-and hopefully if necessary, then others are also being informed.

It´s a shame that anything has to be said to the children though-it should be enough to tell the adults.

Lara2 · 04/02/2013 21:04

I'm not daft enough to expect a 4 year old to police themselves! But a responsible adult clearly has to say something in those circumstances - how else is a child going to learn what's ok or not?

OP posts:

GogoGobo · 04/02/2013 20:59

Diddl, I just don't see your point! Do you want teachers to just stick to maths and English or actually play a decent role in a child's life? The OP isn't telling the child off, she is introducing an alternative viewpoint and there is a chance the child could say "MrsLara2 says we aren't allowed to watch this is we can't play it " and make the parents think!

pigletpower · 04/02/2013 20:50

diddl- I have seen your posts before and you don't strike me as naive or stupid. Of course a teacher is not expecting a young child to police themselves! But by not mentioning that it is not ok for young people to view violence then they are failing in their duty of care. I am a teacher and if I found myself in the same position as the OP, I would have reacted in the same way and also informed my CP collegue.To cover my own back if something more serious happened with the child and to protect the child themselves.

diddl · 04/02/2013 17:41

I don´t think anyone thinks that YABU for thinking that such young children shouldn´t be "exposed" to these things.

It´s the assumption that it is within their control or they are choosing to do it.

Maybe they do?

But it´s a big ask for a 4yr old to police themselves!

WorriedMummy73 · 04/02/2013 17:28

We're a bit of a computer game family! Myself and two eldest (11 and 8) love our Nintendo DS's and we also have a Wii. DP prefers more 'adult' games so we got him a PS3 for Christmas (2011), but it's now upstairs in our bedroom as I wasn't happy about the kids watching him playing CoD. Having said that, ds (8) recently casually mentioned the games he's been playing with his cousin (12) up the road - including Mortal Kombat, the most violent, 18-rated, fighting game I've ever seen. He is now NOT allowed to go in his cousin's house, but what are his cousin's Mum and SD (who, admittedly, is an absolute arse) thinking, letting a 12 year old play this type of game?

Also, it's Internet Awareness Week so school's are meant to be promoting this type of stupid behaviour, although a girl in DDs class was overheard saying to her friend in Assembly today 'they'd better not think they're getting me off Facebook' - she's 11...

Hobbitation · 04/02/2013 17:14

YANBU

Lara2 · 04/02/2013 17:13

diddl, it is my business - I teach these children and if a parent won't protect them then it's up to me to do it. If that means saying "No, you really shouldn't do that" to a child then so be it.
I did refer to our CP person at school,so it's not just me being an unreasonable teacher.

OP posts:

annie11 · 04/02/2013 01:02

Agreed, just don't understand how some people think it's ok...

A friend and her bf have been playing violent computer games and watching anime WITH their baby daughter pretty much from birth. Actually posing pictures of her on Facebook " aww dd watching wrestling with daddy, how cute! "

Oh and our sort of nephew ( husband's step bother's son) is allowed to play CoD. He's 10

Turns my stomach

Startail · 04/02/2013 00:46

*oopslateagain" our bowling ally had a vile game running it's blood killing someone intro right next to the party food tables"

Do people really think 6-8 year olds need to watch that with their tea.

pollypandemonium · 04/02/2013 00:17

Agree with you orangeandlemons - it's neglect.

orangeandlemons · 03/02/2013 20:37

I'm a teacher. This is a child protection issue IMO. They aren't allowed to view porn. Why are they allowed to view violence?

diddl · 03/02/2013 20:30

Well I would like to think that I know better than a teacher about what´s best for my child, that´s for sure!

Unfortunately for OP, parents who let their children see/watch these games aren´t likely to be interested in her opinion of their parenting, are they?

But I hold with what I say-that I wouldn´t like my child to be spoken to like that over something that perhaps they are not even choosing to do.

pigletpower · 03/02/2013 20:24

Diddl-You sound like every teachers nightmare! How dare the teacher possibly have your childrens care at heart?! You seem to be one of those pain in the arse 'armchair teachers'.Parents always know best huh?

MmeLindor · 03/02/2013 20:13

Ben 10 and Black Ops 2 are similar?

'Parents need to know that Call of Duty: Black Ops II is a gritty, extremely violent military first-person shooter set mostly in the near future. Players engage in graphic combat that involves constant killing using realistic weapons, with blood and gore pouring across the screen during more intense scenes. Cinematic sequences can be even more dramatic and graphic, with both soldiers and civilians dying in horrible ways. Players are cast in the role of good guys during most of the campaign, but they also take on the role of the game's villain in a couple of pivotal scenes, giving them opportunity to do evil. This M-rated game has frequent profanity and some sexual themes and drug use. Parents should also be aware that this game facilitates open voice communication.'

From this website (It is a US website, but good for looking up games and film reviews)

DS doesn't have a Ben 10 game but I doubt it contains 'gritty, extremely violent' scenes with 'blood and gore'.

YANBU. Why would anyone have a game like this on when a child is in the room?

NotEnoughTime · 03/02/2013 20:02

I second WhatAThingInYourLifeSaid.

JeffFaFa · 03/02/2013 20:00

YANBU my 6 year old came home from school really distressed as a girl told him she was going to get into his house at night stab him through the head and cut of the rest of the families heads when he was asleep.

Ds also frequently pretends to be a zombie and its certainly nothing he has picked up at home so much be school, can only imagine what some of these children must be viewing.

loofet · 03/02/2013 19:50

Yanbu. Those games are scary..

pollypandemonium · 03/02/2013 18:22

My dcs run in shame when I get the wii dance out.

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pollypandemonium · 03/02/2013 18:20

That's sweet whichisbest . I do wish schools would send out some fact sheets to parents about what their responsibility is to their offsprings mental well-being, preferably in large writing that they can stick on the telly and in nice male-friendly macho fonts (as opposed to comic sans which they usually do and no man takes seriously).

seeker · 03/02/2013 18:18

I can't get past the idea of an adult playing computer games anyway- I thought this was going to be about children being bored watching their dad play football or cricket........

SolidSnake · 03/02/2013 18:16

fuzzpig Me neither, my parents weren't really interested in what I was watching (great parenting, I know). I remember watching Crash (the one with James Spader) when I was 13 and I am still scarred!

But yes OP YANBU, coming from someone who plays a lot of video games

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