To ask why do people 'loud parent'

[ElevenCent]

This woman from my NCT group does it all the time with her DS when we all meet for coffee and it's just ridiculous. She literally verbalises every thing they do with a question at the end and some sort of lesson. Eg mummy can't find her phone in her handbag can she James? Phone, James, PHONE. We ring daddy on the phone don't we? / Mummy is going to get you a rice cake, isn't she James? But we only have three left don't we, till we get to the shops. One, two, three. Shops. SHOPS.

I do engage with DD, naturally, but nowhere near on this level!

Sorry, I know this isn't a new topic, but it is so ridiculous. A couple of times I've echoed it with "what is mummy going to do tonight DD, drink gin, that's right, GIN. What does mummy like with her gin? Tonic, that's
right isn't it DD? But she might need to have it neat tonight, isn't that right?" however she is usually too absorbed in explaining to him why coffee is hot, HOT, and why it is sometimes in a mug MUG, sometimes in a cup CUP and why only mummies MUM-MIES drink coffee and not babies BABIES and why and why and why and why and why

[WidowWadman]

I'm guilty of this, however you wouldn't understand what I was doing, as I do it in German - anything I can do to increase their exposure to their second language. I also sometimes, especially when they were really small, didn't realise I was doing it - which led me to 'loud-parent' an empty shopping trolley (for the baby was at home with her dad)

[Bobbybird40]

I used to take the young un to a soft play centre every sat AM. I. Was often one of the only blokes in there. There was a lot of .... affected behaviour which came as a bit of a shock tbh. Not sure why women do it and don't buy a lot of the nonsense on here that it is for the child's benefit. There is little or no solid evidence that constant talking to your child - especially in a loud and show-offy voice - makes one iota of difference in terms of their language development. OP - you are correct in your observation.

[HecateWhoopass]

My first conversation with my second was the morning after he was born, when I was getting him dressed and explaining to him what socks were for.

Woman in the bed opposite, burst into tears and wailed ooooohhh, you're showing him what socks are (or something along those lines )

Truly hadn't been for her benefit. I don't think I'd even noticed her. I was just wrapped up in my baby.

[Bobbybird40]

Doing it in German - oh give me strength!!!

[PoppyWearer]

I used to talk to myself the cat before the DCs were born. I'm another loon who talks to empty shopping trollies. Not loud parenting, just plain old madness

[changeforthebetter]

I would rather hear a loud parent burbling on about Lin-gwee-knee than loud he said/she said, boasting about wealth or ability.

Parent engages with child - not so bad. I used to take the DDs to a poncey dance and movement thing and one mum was very loud but can't say it really bothered me.

In the greater scheme of things etc...

[MerryCouthyMows]

Again, I was advised by speech therapists to talk about EVERYTHING we do, clearly and over exaggerated, in order to increase my DC's exposure to language.

And I also have 3 with ASD's, and again, I need to explain clearly, continuously, what we are doing, what will be coming next.

And 2 of those 3 DC's ALSO have hearing problems, and Auditory Processing Disorder, and, yet again, I have been advised to talk clearly, at a volume they can hear, and enunciating carefully, in order to help them hear. And the 3rd one of those DC's is waiting to get a dx of APD.

There ARE very good reasons why SOME 'Loud' parents are doing this.

OK, the lady in the OP is going overboard, and is probably rather annoying, as it DOES seem like she is doing too much, BUT surely it is better that she is talking to her DS than she ignored him and never spoke to him?

[WidowWadman]

Bobby - oh, does raising my children bilingual, so that they don't only learn their dad's but also my mother tongue make me extra wanky?

[mrsjay]

sometimes I have to plead and beg some of the parents I work with to look and see their children as little people never mind loud parent them

as somebody else said in the grand scheme of things it is nothing to blether nonsense loudly to a child

[elizaregina]

"There is little or no solid evidence that constant talking to your child - especially in a loud and show-offy voice - makes one iota of difference in terms of their language development."

[mrsjay]

oh, does raising my children bilingual, so that they don't only learn their dad's but also my mother tongue make me extra wanky?

sorry that made me laugh,

[mrsjay]

There is little or no solid evidence that constant talking to your child - especially in a loud and show-offy voice - makes one iota of difference in terms of their language development. OP - you are correct in your observation.

urm yeah there is

[Bobbybird40]

McMahon - you are EVEN DOING IT HERE

[Bobbybird40]

Mrsjay - no there isn't. Non scientific. There is just an assumption.

[elizaregina]

"Doing it in German - oh give me strength!!! "

Yes give me strenghth, DH is a fluent German speaker and I would LOVE him to have spoken to our child in German but he doesnt. Such a waste!

[elizaregina]

Bobby could you show us this please where you have your info from.

Do you have any children with delays or autism etc?

[hazeyjane]

Bobby, if a child has a speech delay/disorder, then speaking in simple clear sentences, and sometimes using exaggerated tones is what a speech and language therapist will advise. At least that is what ds's SALT advises, and that is the way she and all the key workers in ds's sn nursery talk to the children there, along with using Makaton.

I love the idea that talking to your child in the language that one or both of the parents uses is wanky!

[WidowWadman]

Bobby - do you have a source to back up your claim? How much have you read about first language acquisition?

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

I am a proud and Loud parent - in terms of talking a lot to DS from when he was a baby rather than volume. Don't care. I also had the rule of never dumbing down language for him (acky, ta) so I now have a 4YO who peppers his language with four syllable words. (preens)

As for MC smugness, I live in an area that has a large Japanese population. We eat sushi. I wasn't aware that it was considered precious or pretentious to do so. We shop at Waitrose. Linguini is just a type of pasta eaten by most people in this country. I personally can't abide ever so 'umble reverse snobbery about things that are perfectly normal.

[Francagoestohollywood]

Yanbu.
One thing is talking to babies, another is to turn them into paedagogic esperiments.

[Francagoestohollywood]

It's linguine, btw.

[WidowWadman]

isn't it 'experiments'?

[Francagoestohollywood]

Of course it is, it's the TABLET, isn't it.

[elizaregina]

what tablet have you taken Franca?


Bobby we are waiting for this amazing research.

[drmummmsy]

I've been a single parent for the last 8 years - if I didn't talk to dd I'd go spare!