to be so bothered by reborn dolls and this ebay situation?

[grumblinalong]

I suppose deep down I know aibu, different strokes and all that but my immediate reaction is kind of just to recoil.

I had no idea about reborn dolls until the thread on here the other day. I clicked on the YouTube link and for some reason it bothered me. Don't know why. Couldn't read any more of the thread. Anyway got over it in a second and didn't give it much thought until I have just discovered that I have sold my lovely silver cross pram and car seat, on eBay, for one of these dolls.

The bidder is collecting by bus and I asked if they we're bringing their baby or pregnant because there's quite a lot of kit to carry and I was worried they wouldn't manage. It's for her reborn she replied. I'm annoyed cos I've scrubbed the blasted thing thinking a human baby was going in it and I feel odd about the doll thing. My newborns went in that pram and car seat so I feel attached to it a bit. Maybe this is what's wrong with me, been sterilised so no more newborns for me. Am I weird for being bothered by these dolls? Come on MN, kick my arse (grin)

[wanderingcloud]

I'm another who simply cannot get my head around it AT ALL.

And like you OP, I would feel really funny handing over baby things to someone who had no intention of using them for a baby.

But I accept that IABU to feel that way.

[quoteunquote]

putting aside the concept that the reborn baby thing is taking advantage of vulnerable adults,

Just try to think of your pram bring some comfort to fellow human.

Many years ago, I worked in a community which was set up for adults with special needs, a sort of mini village,farm,craft work shops, all set up on Steiner principles, some of the lovely residents really loved having a doll(baby), and taking their baby for walks in a proper buggy,total joy, it's not harming anyone , it's making someone happy, and that can only be a very good thing.

I find them really creepy and just make me think of dead babies, but if it makes someone happy, and doesn't hurt anyone, why worry.

[LittleChimneyDroppings]

Wow, I wouldn't give a teeny tiny rats arse what she wanted the pram for. She's paying for it, so whats the problem. And personally I think those dolls are quite beautiful.

[grumblinalong]

quoteunquote you are right. If it helps then who am I to judge. People have much more destructive habits. Thanks for the relatively gentle kicking by MN standards everyone.

[GirlOutNumbered]

I just googled them too, never heard of the.pm. Must admit the picture on Wikipedia freaked me out. Not sure why.

However Yabu. I would expect the pram to be clean if I had just bought it from someone!

[mrsbunnylove]

i couldn't be bothered with a reborn doll but i don't think its a problem that other people want them. i discovered loads of my internet acquaintance (sp?) have weirdo doll habits, like having dolls they take out and photograph in random places.

[EldritchCleavage]

Why on earth are they called 'reborn' dolls?

[mrswoz]

At the risk of sounding a bit greedy - I have found that buyers on eBay wanting baby items to use with reborns, are often willing to pay over the odds to get the pram/crib/clothing they really like!

I had some baby shoes to sell, were fetching 99p in the baby clothes category, yet selling for £6-8 in reborn clothing. Which category do you think I listed them in?

As far as I can see the ladies treat these dolls as a hobby, and as long as they've paid for their items I don't think it matters what they use them for.

[pigletmania]

Yabvu those reborn dolls give comfort to those who have lost a baby or who cannot have children. If it helps teir grieving process so be it. The woman paid for the items so they are hers, you don't know her hatry so cannot judge

[pigletmania]

Her history

[LynetteScavo]

I've known about re-borns for sometime, and have come to the conclusion (feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong) that people who engage with re-borns and some deep seated need (and have psychological problems which are - happily- being met), and can understand why they pay over the odds for equipment.

I can also see your side. I would rather my baby stuff went to a relative than someone I didn't know. Silly..relative may not need hand-me-downs..total stranger may be in dire need.

[bumhead]

I know a lady who collects these dolls.
She had 2 stillborn babies, one after another
She ended up with a hysterectomy and so has these dolls as some kind of way of coping with the grief. Sort of the babies that can't be taken from her. I think there is often that void that these babies fulfil for some of these collectors.

For those of you getting het up because you feel these dolls take the piss out of 'real mothers' with all the work that entails, just thank god you are in that position. For some women they would do anything to be in your position and are just dealing with their emptiness in a way that helps them.
FFS it's not hurting you is it?

[Softlysoftly]

Am I the only one that is glad it's a doll?
Because no mother should be buying a 2nd hand car seat for a real baby. In fact I
Think ebay should ban the sale of them.

Having said that I hate the dolls but watching the documentary on them what stood out was the grandma having a replica of the grandchild who moved away made and how totally broken heated she was when her dh said he couldn't hack it as it looked dead :( feels like the company is abusing these people's pain.

[bumhead]

ps YABU

[Softlysoftly]

*hearted

[grumblinalong]

piglet It's quite offensive that you think people whose babies have died would feel the need to replace them with dolls. These dolls would never be a 'replacement' for real DC's and the lives they should have lead. Think I might have to step away from this thread now.

[bumhead]

No-one said they were a 'replacement' for a real DC, I think for those ladies who have a reborn and have lost a baby, these dolls just fulfil a part of their grieving process. I have lost a baby and I don't feel the need for one of these dolls but those ladies are not me. Everyone is different.
Having been in that situation I wouldn't begrudge anyone something that helps them deal with their pain.

[RobinSparkles]

Thanks for that tip MrsWoz! I have a Moses basket that I need to flog :o.

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

The two people I know who have them have lost children and had the dolls made with the same colouring as their babies had.

I have lost two children and its not what I would choose to do, but its true that some Mothers find a little comfort in having a doll made to symbolise their baby.

In the same way that I display photos and find comfort in my childrens teddy bears and clothes they wore some people find that comfort in these dolls.

I really don't think piglets post was offensive at all.

[RobinSparkles]

Piglet never said that the dolls were a replacement! She said that the dolls were probably a comfort and helped the grieving process. You are putting words in her mouth!

[RobinSparkles]

That was to Grumblingalong.

[GuffSmuggler]

At least she's not buying it for her dogs. There used to be a woman near where I lived who pushed her small dogs around in a pram all dressed up pretending they were babies!!

[Getoutofmygumboot]

I understand how you feel, I have my silver cross up for sale but I am very attached to it as dd is pfb.

Those dolls are freaky and I would be a bit and about it, but it's not up to me what someone else uses it for, an I'm sure I would get over it.

[apostropheuse]

YABVU

It's absolutely none of your business what she does with an item she now owns.

She's paid you the money so once she picks up the pram it's got nothing to do with you what happens to it. If she wants to put it into her garden and grow plants in it, or give it to the local children to make a go-kart out of, it's her business.

I can't understand people who get attached to inanimate objects. I really can't. For this reason I also think that the reborn dolls are totally bizarre and yes they do freak me out too!