To ask son to shower every night?

[mrsgregorypeck]

I ask my son (11) to have a shower every night before a school day. This leads to lots of huffing and puffing and occasional temper tantrums.

To be fair, I remember my brothers at that age were required to have a bath every Sunday and only "a good wash" at the sink in between.

Have our perceptions changed of what constitutes acceptable levels of cleanliness or am I just being unreasonable?

[sweetestB]

I WASH my hair EVERY DAY, or every other day Ivo are you listening.?
I also don't drive, don't travel, buy local, and recycle/upcycle/re-use as much as I can.
And I absolutely hate waste and avoid it.
My dd is learning this very well.
But I won't give up my daily showers and fresh clothes.
It's essential for my well being and self esteem

But my husband is opposite
and I respect people are different and have different needs.

[irregularegular]

Well my 9 and 10 yr old only bath/shower twice a week. The hormones haven't kicked in yet and they really don't smell.!

DH and I do both shower every day. DS and DD know that they will need to when they are older. I'm monitoring the situation - I may change the routine when they go to secondary as a pre-emptive measure.

I know I didn't bathe daily as a child and I'm sure my friends didn't either. It does seem rather wasteful of water, energy and effort unless they are actually mucky, or just want to.

[Chopstheduck]

I think they all go through a phase of soap dodging. Mine have tried avoiding it altogether, pretending to have a shower by running it and not getting in, or diving in then straight back out without actually washing.

They can shower when they want, but they will shower once a day unless it is a pyjama day at the weekend or something. If they refuse to get in, they won't get dinner/bfast until they HAVE showered. A few times holding our noses when she walked in worked wonders for my eldest.

[HousewifeFromHeaven]

Meant to add

Showering everyday is quite acceptable. Fact

[HousewifeFromHeaven]

Of course no one wants their kids to be the 'smelly' one.

Some children don't have enough clothes so have to wear the same ones a lot. Not enough money to wash the clothes a lot.
Not enough money to have the water on a lot etc etc.

That combination will create a smell. Not showering everyday at 11 doesn't, especially if clean clothes are worn IMO.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

My DS walks 30 minutes to and from school , plays rugby and does PE twice a week.
I insist he baths or showers every day.
He's just getting into the teen hormone stage. His pits can get a bit whiffy at the end of the day.

I tell him no-one wants to be the smelly child

(Weekends and holidays he doesn't need to wash. He just smells 'little boy' when he's dossing about at home)

[tallwivglasses]

Ivor, do you never exercise or work up a sweat cleaning, carrying heavy shopping, etc? I don't have a car, most of my stuff is second hand and the last time I was in an aeroplane was 1986. There's other ways to tackle global warming, you know - so less hoiking of those windy-arsed judgy pants, please.

[IvorWindybottom]

People who shower everyday should be flogged,no need for it whatsoever,what a waste of water and power therefore a waste of money and it contributes to global warming
absolulty disgracefull

[Tarlia]

hides all face cloths from guests People actually use them for washing their bits?? Urg!

I'm with the shower once or even twice a day, fresh clothes every day camp. However we are only supposed to bath baby once per week on advice from specialists, as his skin is so bad (we do sneak in an extra shower). The poor thing gets so excited on bath days, long may this last!

[NotGoodNotBad]

I seem to remember having a weekly bath till mid-teens (we didn't even own a proper shower till then, just a rubber thing on the taps). I must have stunk.

From about age 10-11, if my kids don't have a shower every day (sometimes missing a day if they haven't done much), boy do I notice!

[MoodyDidIt]

no YANBU

my dc are only 3 and 6 and they have baths every 2 days. they usually make a fuss and say they don't want to (why do kids do this??) and soon i will start to get them to do it daily, prob in the next year or so

as others have said, i remember smelly kids at school and i never want my kids to be the smelly kid :o

also it sets them up for good habits into adulthood

[valiumredhead]

You can wring out flannels you know

[shemademedoit]

If my boys don't wash willingly every night, I ambush them with a handful of shampoo so they've no choice but to get in the shower

[DeafLeopard]

I also don't get how it can be easier to have a strip wash at the sink than have a shower.

I worked in a nursing home where we had to do bed baths for some residents, but it was easy to do intimate areas as they were lying down on a towel, and we would use three flannels for that one area, one to wet and soap, a second to get the majority of the soap off and then another to make sure that there was no soap left on the skin.

To stand at a sink and do that would make an awful lot of water on the floor.

[valiumredhead]

Wash cloths go straight in the laundry basket in this house

[sweetestB]

Ok thanks for the clarification. So where the wash cloth goes after the wash? I find showers so relaxing, much more even than baths, but I might try the sink wash and see how it goes.

[Nagoo]

Actually, I am going to do the grown up version of this

[valiumredhead]

I don't know seeker is anyone saying that they prefer washes?

[valiumredhead]

My ds has been known to run the shower and stand definitely by it to make me think he is in there - cheeky sod

[Nagoo]

My sister used to try to trick my parents with the wet hair thing. It's not just boys.

TBh I need a shower right now, and I simply CBA. I'm not particularly stinky but my hair does need a wash. No one is telling me to go. I will have one before bed. If someone made me shower right now, and I was a petulant child, I might try and get one over on them as well.

[seeker]

But why would you wash at the sink if there's a shower available? I understand that in the days of limited hot water people did this, but why now?

[valiumredhead]

sweet yes, you wash yourself thoroughly using soap/wash cloth and water while standing at a sink.

It really isn't that hard to keep water in a sink while having a wash - my dh manages to have a shave every day at the sink without slopping water everywhere.

[mrsgregorypeck]

All these replies have been very interesting. DS hasn't yet hit puberty so isn't completely honking if he doesn't have a daily shower. He still smells stale and horrible, though.

We have had a lot of rows over the fact that after he is told to have a shower he comes down in pyjamas with wet hair. I then discover that his shower cabinet is completely dry. So infuriating when in other ways he is such a good boy who is keen to please.

[Helltotheno]

It's very difficult to wash nether regions at a sink... a lot of spilled water and a lot of washing of ... eh.. whatever you're using to do the cleaning. With showers available, I find it hard to believe that people would choose slopping about at a sink (unless thru necessity, I accept that) to luxuriating in a lovely hot shower.

I also heart bidets because they're what you're supposed to use to wash nether regions, not sinks (just ask the French, Germans, Spanish etc :) )

Showers are a rule in our house, not a choice!!