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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get rid of puppy?

236 replies

chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 13:12

Posting this on behalf on friend who doesn't know what to do.

She has a 4 yr old DD & 8 year old DS, is also in a relationship with DP who has 8 year old DD who stays at the house regularly.

She bought a Dalmatian puppy at Xmas who up until now has been playful & boisterous. She has been taking him to puppy classes & he seems to be training well. Last night however she was in the kitchen, heard a scream & found the dog had jumped up on DD & bitten her behind the ear whilst trying to retrieve a toy. Resulted in a hospital visit, tetanus jag & stitches.

Her DP (as well as his ex) now understandably don't want the dog round their daughter. My opinion is also that she should get rid of the dog as its too big a risk. However she has spoken to otherswho advise that the dog is merely being playful & she should persevere. Basically she just wants to see what the common consensus is, it's already causing arguments between her & DP. My opinion is she's being unreasonable to keep the puppy but what do others think?

OP posts:
Paiviaso · 23/01/2013 13:44

This isn't the end of the world, I think your friend can learn from this:

Dog is young and bound to make mistakes. Children and dog should never be left unsupervised. Dog needs lots of exercise outside the house to burn off energy. Children need to be taught how to play safe games with the dog.

MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 23/01/2013 13:45

Dalmation! Bloody auto correct!

Narked · 23/01/2013 13:45

Your friend sounds like a complete fuckwit.

HotPanda · 23/01/2013 13:45

Yes to it being deaf possibly - the dog walker who lets it out when she's at work mentioned that she thought it may be slightly deaf, awaiting on vet to confirm.
A reputable breeder would have given the dog a BAER hearing test at roughly 6 weeks old. ALL Dallys should be checked for this as deafness is such a common trait. Did this not happen?

mrsjay · 23/01/2013 13:46

the puppy is going to go into that teen stage that somebody else spoke about thats hard work they are still testing boundries etc but bigger, ask you friend to speak to a dog behaviourist to teach an Off command and teach the children not to wave toys at the dogs face its a 2 way thing , the kids need to learn as well, I have a little well medium size dog and he can knock me off my feet sometimes, can you imagine an almost full sized bouncy 'teenage' dalmation

GlitterySkulls · 23/01/2013 13:47

your friend is an idiot op .

puppies bite, it's called excitement, ffs.

mrsjay · 23/01/2013 13:48

chubby post in the dog house too they have really helped me with my excited jaydog I was taking him back to the rescue a few weeks ago,

adeucalione · 23/01/2013 13:48

What a sad post.

It's really incredible that there are still people out there who are daft enough to buy puppies without knowing what they are letting themselves in for - they are hard work, and they do 'play' bite.

FWIW our puppy nipped DC's legs for months - we did all the training techniques but nothing seemed to work, and their legs were black and blue with little puncture marks. At about five months he seemed to get the message and he has been daft as a brush ever since - no biting, no aggression, and he's 8 years old now.

I think that they shouldn't have bought the pup at all but, as they have it, they must take responsibility for keeping it away from their DC and carrying on with the training.

Floralnomad · 23/01/2013 13:50

Yes she should rehome it ,but not because it 'bit' anybody but because she is obviously incapable of supervising it properly . Eventually this dog will end up being rehomed so it would be best to do it now. Also I don't understand your comment about it already being big and still growing , she must have known how big it was going to get its a Dalmation so it will get to Dalmation size , unless its a special new type of miniature Dalmation!

Callisto · 23/01/2013 13:52

I've just rehomed a lovely little 6mo terrier because a similarly idiotic woman got him and didn't bother supervising child-puppy interactions properly. He was mouthy, she says he bit, she hands him in to the rescue on Christmas Eve (Christmas Eve fgs, how heartless?).

OP I really think your friend should rehome this puppy to an appropriate rescue. It is not a suitable breed and needs a serious amount of exercise. A relative of mine had a similar breed, it didn't get enough exercise or supervision, became dog-aggressive and then started biting people. It had to be put down at just 4 years old. It was a gorgeous dog but totally unsuitable and ended up spending most of its adult life in a cage or chained on their yard. I can see the same scenario for this puppy.

JustAHolyFool · 23/01/2013 13:52

She should rehome because she's obviously not capable of looking after a dog. Who the hell leaves a new puppy alone with a 4 year old? And who gets a puppy at Christmas?

And then she should never ever ever get a dog again.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/01/2013 13:52

Maggie
Grin @ autocorrect to damnation.
That's what my DD calls them Blush

JustFabulous · 23/01/2013 13:53

" FWIW I think Dalmations are generally acknowledged to be quite headstrong (untrainable)."

I don't normally post on this topic but I had to disagree with this very strongly. My neighbours currently have two Dalmatians and have had one on his own before. The dogs are totally trained and 100% know the humans are in charge.

toboldlygo · 23/01/2013 13:53

Pup should have been BAER tested before it left the breeder. Someone comes to let it out while she's at work? So pup is home alone for the rest of a working day? No input, no training, just left to its own devices - you're going to struggle to get things like bite inhibition in place.

Sallystyle · 23/01/2013 13:54

I have a 7 month old JRT and she bit me once and it hurt! She was only playing and I just saw it as one of those things. Since then she started to grow out of the biting stage but it took training, time and patience.

Some people don't realise how time consuming training a puppy can be, I still feel like it is one step forward and two steps back some days.

I wouldn't re-home a puppy for a mistake the OWNERS made, however she doesn't seem very serious about wanting to train the puppy so perhaps re-homing is the best option for the pup in the long run.

akaemmafrost · 23/01/2013 13:54

I don't think name calling will is on really. Hopefully she's reading this thread and it's going to help her be educated about her responsibilities towards this dog. She's made a bad call but so do 1000's of people getting dogs and she has posted for help. People think it's all cute, cuddly, furry cuddles and romping in the park with perfect recall and it just isn't. It's a lot of work too but SO worth it.

One golden rule is crate the dog every time you leave the room even for a second. Do some reading. Contact the behaviourist who has kindly offered to help on this thread ASAP. This can totally be sorted.

Original poster
chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 13:56

No, she DOES want to keep him & continue with the training. . . It's her DP ( whose child visits regularly) that wants to rehome it?

OP posts:
worsestershiresauce · 23/01/2013 13:57

Floral makes a valid point. The puppy absolutely wasn't at fault here - it was playing with the DCs in the same way that it would play with its litter mates. It is a baby and needs to be trained to live in a human world by human rules, and in the meantime should never be left alone with small children.

The owner obviously has no idea how to train a puppy, or look after a dog, hence the poor animal needs to go to a home where it will have the hope of a happy future. I can see this dog being shut in a room by itself, written off as a biter, and neglected at its current home. This treatment would turn it into an untrained unsocialised nightmare completely incapable of integrating into a human world.

grovel · 23/01/2013 13:59

Look, it's not going to work if DP wants the dog out. Re-home responsibly. Sooner rather than later.

GreatUncleEddie · 23/01/2013 14:00

It's a puppy. It needs training and love. Is she prepared to put the time in or not? (And if not, wtf did she buy the poor creature?)

SamSmalaidh · 23/01/2013 14:00

Is she leaving the dog alone all day with just someone coming to let it out?

Your friend really didn't think this through did she Hmm

It's a puppy. It needs training, supervision, company. It will nip and scratch and jump on the kids while it is learning appropriate behaviour. Your friend needs to put some time and effort in.

Original poster
chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 14:00

Thanks for the number for Dalmation Welfare, she's phoned them & they ate arranging to send someone out to the house to assess the situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 14:02

She works 3 days a week and in those days, walks it at 6am before work, dog walker comes in at 10am & walks it, she goes home at lunch time and walks it, then is home to walk it at 4pm.

OP posts:
D0oinMeCleanin · 23/01/2013 14:09

Puppies have needle sharp teeth and love to play, play for puppies is jumping, biting, scratching, nipping, chewing things they shouldn't chew etc. This is why people with children need to think very carefully before buying a puppy.

If your friend had bought from a reputable breeder, she would have expert advise on the other end of the phone.

I'm in two minds about this tbh, I don't think anyone should re home easily and vehemently wish people who don't have a clue about dogs would stop buying cute, fluffy puppies but it doesn't sound to me as though your friend is cut out for dog ownership.

A Dalmatian, as already pointed out, will grow to Dalmatian size, that's simple common sense. I don't understand how this dog has gotten too big? Confused What was your friend expecting a large breed dog to grow into? Plus leaving puppies and children unattended is a massive no no. Even a short bit of research would have taught your friend this.

If you're friend can pull her finger out and get her act together, then by all means she should keep the puppy, it doesn't sound like an act of aggression, most puppies are incapable of aggression, they're babies, innocent and new, they learn mistrust and aggression later in life if they're not properly trained and socialised. Otoh, if, as I suspect, this pup is going to end up in rescue anyway, because he's too big/takes too much time/hasn't magically transformed into the perfect trained dog with little to no effort from the owner etc. then she should do the pup a favour and rehome via a reputable breed rescue now, while the puppy is still young and cute and she should never get another dog.

If she decides she is capable of keeping it, then she should contact and APDT registered trainer to come out and speak to her, bite inhibition is very important for a puppy to learn and if, after puppy classes, your friend still thought it was fine to leave a puppy unattended with children, then she is obviously not getting all she should be from the puppy class, also the trainer will be happy to have a word with DP and reassure him that this was just play and with responsible management won't happen again.

If she gets rid, she should not get another dog and definitely no more puppies.

How sad for the poor puppy and the dd.

tedsmam · 23/01/2013 14:16

sad and stupid.

At least if she rehomes it now whilst young, and still developing, it has time to be properly trained and cared for by someone with more than a passing interest in having a dog.

Hope she at least takes finding it a new home seriously and doesn't just pass the pup onto anyone - it's shame for the pup to have to be rehomed but this family don't seem to be in it for the right reasons,