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AIBU?

To get rid of puppy?

236 replies

chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 13:12

Posting this on behalf on friend who doesn't know what to do.

She has a 4 yr old DD & 8 year old DS, is also in a relationship with DP who has 8 year old DD who stays at the house regularly.

She bought a Dalmatian puppy at Xmas who up until now has been playful & boisterous. She has been taking him to puppy classes & he seems to be training well. Last night however she was in the kitchen, heard a scream & found the dog had jumped up on DD & bitten her behind the ear whilst trying to retrieve a toy. Resulted in a hospital visit, tetanus jag & stitches.

Her DP (as well as his ex) now understandably don't want the dog round their daughter. My opinion is also that she should get rid of the dog as its too big a risk. However she has spoken to otherswho advise that the dog is merely being playful & she should persevere. Basically she just wants to see what the common consensus is, it's already causing arguments between her & DP. My opinion is she's being unreasonable to keep the puppy but what do others think?

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mrsjay · 23/01/2013 13:29

the puppy is just a bbay you can't leave it alone with children ever they do bite and jump my dog is just coming out of it and he is nearly a year old, sorry but i think your friend has been irresponsible I am sorry the girl was bitten but it really isn't the dogs fault , if she can't supervise the dog then she maybe need to get rid of it, cute little puppies are fab but they are animals, sorry dont mean to sound harsh but it wasn't the dogs fault ,

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akaemmafrost · 23/01/2013 13:29

This was not an aggressive bite it was an accident involving an excited young dog. I know let's all get rid of our toddlers next time they barge or push another kid when they're over excited, because it's the same thing.

Tell your friend NOT to leave her children and the puppy unsupervised together and to sort out some dog training pronto. Quite frankly a Dalmatian NOT the best choice for a family with small kids in the first place. Did she do much research before choosing this breed?

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dreamingofsun · 23/01/2013 13:29

dogs nip when they are puppy's - its their way of asking you to play. young children and puppy's should always be supervised and not left alone - unless your friend can committ to this then yhe puppy should be rehomed quickly whilst its still easy for it to find a new more suitable place and before it gets too quickly attached to you.

does your friend realise how much exercise the dog will require once it gets a bit older? If she doesn't realise you shouldn't leave dogs/children unsupervised, she might not realise this either.

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4boysthatilove · 23/01/2013 13:30

Dog behaviouralist here - can't believe this post - it both saddens me and angers me at the same time, however if your friend OP wants to get in touch you can PM with contact details. I will be happy to advise some positive training tips.

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toboldlygo · 23/01/2013 13:31

Dogs and children should never be unsupervised. Puppies need to learn bite inhibition and go through a horribly mouthy bitey land shark phase - this is natural, and normal, and it is the owner's job to teach them to inhibit this. Children waving toys around in a young puppy's face will get jumped up at, scratched and bitten in play until the puppy is old enough to have been taught differently.

She bought it at Christmas? FFS. Sounds like a household that should never have considered a dog. If they're struggling with a few month old puppy I dread to think about the gobby teenage stage and dealing with a high energy adult dog (they're carriage dogs, designed to be running for miles and miles and miles every single day - is it really going to be compatible with their family lifestyle? For the next 10+ years?)

If they do get rid of it he needs to go to a reputable no-kill rescue with a sizable bloody donation towards his future care and rehoming costs. NOT Preloved, Gumtree etc. - if they do that they need flogging.

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25catsnameSam · 23/01/2013 13:32

YABU but so was your friend when she left her daughter with the puppy. Can't say whether she should have got it or not as don't know her background but presumably she knows just how much work dalmatians are?
Puppies should not be left with children at all. At this age they are learning about their world (remember how toddlers put everything in their mouths?) and their teeth are razor sharp. It is unlikely to have been malicious even - our puppy used to nip when he got overexcited in playing.
She needs to get puppy a proper space away from the children - put a baby gate across the kitchen door if needed.

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SpicyPear · 23/01/2013 13:33

It's not aggression, puppies are bitey with low impulse control and I would go so far as to say almost all puppies would at some point unintentionally hurt a small child if they are regularly left unsupervised. She doesn't need to get rid of the dog. She needs to start being a responsible pet owner and only allowing the dog to be with the children under supervision, at times she is in a position to regulate their interaction (i.e. not in the same room but concentrating on something else).

People like you and your friend make me absolutely sick. That puppy didn't ask to be taken into a home with kids and irresponsible owners. Maybe if you had any idea of the number of dogs languishing in rescue and being PTS every day you would be less flippant and reactionary about this. Your friend is at fault, not the puppy for being a puppy.

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Callisto · 23/01/2013 13:33

Well she is an idiot to get a puppy and not supervise it with her 4yo - that was an accident waiting to happen. Poor puppy, poor DD.

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HotPanda · 23/01/2013 13:34

toboldlygo I agree.

My Dally is walked 2 or 3 times a day, for between 30-90 mins per walk, including running free in fields. This is what exercise this kind of high energy dog needs.

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FredWorms · 23/01/2013 13:36

Continue with the puppy training.

Start training the children about how to treat the puppy.

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Kafri · 23/01/2013 13:37

A dog is for life, not just for Christmas!!

While there are times that warrant re homing an animal I sincerely doubt this is one of them.

A playful puppy, a child and a toy that the playful puppy wanted-sounds very much like an accident to me...

How about - cont with training for puppy and never leave puppy and kids alone. Dalmatians make fantastic family pets

If it were a adult dog my reply might have been different, but a puppy still in training has no idea of appropriate play. Give it chance to learn. If the owners weren't willing to give pup chance to learn they shouldn't have taken it on.

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SpicyPear · 23/01/2013 13:38

Missed HotPanda's post. Absolutely rehome if the breed rescue are able to help this to be done safely. Whatever she does she should not take it to the pound, to be PTS, rehome to a friend or via FB, Gumtree etc. There lies a lifetime of suffering for the pup, at best being neglected and passed around or at worst ending up as bait for dog fighters.

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FredWorms · 23/01/2013 13:38

HotPanda, my neighbours have one and they never walk it. It just poos in their tiny garden. I've offered to walk it but they perpetuate the notion that it is hard to handle.

It breaks my bloody heart.

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chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 13:39

She does have a crate for it however they were left alone unsupervised while she was in next room for only 5 mins (wrongly she knows)

I understand it's only a puppy but this isn't the first time the kids have been knocked over & scratched by it. Concern is that the next time it may 'playfully' bite one of the DC on the face or cause more injury. We're at work just now & she's reading all theses replies so thank you for your input!

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Mosman · 23/01/2013 13:40

Doesn't long walks do more harm than good when they are young though ? I tried to walk the legs off ours to wear him out and was told we'd hurt him as he was still growing.

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spiderlight · 23/01/2013 13:40

This was how we ended up with our springer - inexperienced family, active breed, needle teeth, poor supervision. It's too late now but they should never have got a puppy in that situation, really. An older, steady rescue dog from a foster home with kids would have been vastly more appropriate :(

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PeachActiviaMinge · 23/01/2013 13:40

There just aren't words strong enough for these sort of people. You really should have to take a test before being allowed to own a dog maybe then it would stop these animals ending up in rescue for simply being young.

Tell her to rehome the puppy to a good rescue with a sizeable donation made at the same time, It has more hope of being rehomed now as a puppy then it will when they decide they are bored of it and getting rid anyway as an adult.

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/01/2013 13:40

(Not a dog lover either) but I would defend the dog in that he was 99.99% after the toy not the child.
And though a 4 yo should be fairly sensible , the child+ puppy should have been better supervised.

When you say in a relationship I'm assuming the DP and his 8yo do not live with her?
In which case she bought the puppy for her household.
It may well be that if he doesn;t want his DC near the dog, then don't. (Obviously if they all live together, then not easy)

But why did she choose a Dalmation?
They are headstrong. They were originally carriage dogs.
And after the 1001 films there was a huge problem with rehoming them.

TBH - puppies are bitey little blighters.
People get dogs to protect them and their families.
It doesn't sound like it was malicious on the part of the dog.
She should discuss it with her trainer rather than binning him off.

And work out a strategy that keeps the puppy and child safe

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daisydotandgertie · 23/01/2013 13:41

The dog is a puppy. It has been alive for, I guess, less than 12 weeks.

Puppies bite. They are not vicious. You cannot possibly believe that a puppy deserves rehoming because it was just being a puppy. Google bit inhibition and Ian Dunbar which will give you a basic understanding of what the puppy is up to.

She cannot possibly have done very many training classes - there simply has not been enough time. Equally, the puppy cannot possibly be trained yet; she has only had it for about four weeks. With dogs, you get out what you put in. Every time.

If your friend has taken on more than she can cope with tell her to contact the breeder they got it from and ask them to take it back. If she is leaving a puppy with young children she is must be stupid, inexperienced and incapable of using her common sense.

Do not judge the dog. It has done absolutely nothing wrong. This is a problem entirely caused by the adult involved.

Why was the dog having to jump up to get a toy. Was the child playing with it or teasing it? Whichever it was, it sounds like the child could do with some behaviour guidelines too.

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HotPanda · 23/01/2013 13:41

Missed HotPanda's post. Absolutely rehome if the breed rescue are able to help this to be done safely. Whatever she does she should not take it to the pound, to be PTS, rehome to a friend or via FB, Gumtree etc. There lies a lifetime of suffering for the pup, at best being neglected and passed around or at worst ending up as bait for dog fighters.
Absolutely.

chubbychipmonk incase you missed it earlier - Dalmatian Welfare Rehoming and enquiries: 07905 495084,

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SpicyPear · 23/01/2013 13:41

Yes but chubby, anyone who knows even the first thing about puppies knows that all of those things will happen without very careful management of the dog. What on earth was she thinking bringing one into the home, especially a dalmation? Sadly many people like your friend get rid of one dog only to try another and another and another, never realising that they are the problem, not the dogs.

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/01/2013 13:42

Knocking over and scratching is not a bite though. That's part and parcel of a clumsy little quadroped.
And it doesn't sound like a Spite Bite

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chubbychipmonk · 23/01/2013 13:44

She has had a dog previously for 16 years but that was before she had DC so she does have experience with dogs.

Yes to it being deaf possibly - the dog walker who lets it out when she's at work mentioned that she thought it may be slightly deaf, awaiting on vet to confirm.

The puppy is 3 months old & quite a big size already with more growing to do.

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MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 23/01/2013 13:44

My mum and step-dad are currently looking for a dog, they have been looking at all the rescues local to us but haven't really found anything that clicks totally with both of them.
I do know my mother would leap at the chance of having a damnation, they are experienced dog owners. There last dog, who was a rescue from Wales, came to them at about the age of six or seven and lived until she was fourteen.
So, anyway...
As to 'the puppy, your friend(s) sound totally unprepared for having one, so either they learn quickly, or rehome the poor thing.

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HotPanda · 23/01/2013 13:44

Mosman yes - The recommendations (or were when I got mine) are walks lasting 5 mins per month of age so 4 months = 20 mins. But you can do that 2/3/4 times a day. The aim is not not let them jump off things, or run too much as that it what damages them. I was really just trying to give an indication of what living with an adult one is like.

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