To take 2 infectious-poxy children out in public...

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My DTs have the pox. (spots still appearing so definitely still infectious) Last week my DD1 had it and we spent the whole week indoors as a result. (DS went to and from school by himself) This week I am having to do the school run as DD1 is too young to go with just DS for supervision due to the 2 busy roads to cross. I am taking DTs up to the school in their buggy with the rain cover over them - standing away from other people and leaving as soon as kids are in/out. (we live a 2 min walk from the school)

SO - WIBU to carry on after the school run and take the DTs out for a walk and maybe even go into the small local supermarket to pick up some essentials? WIABU to perhaps take the rain cover off if there were no other people around on the street at that time?

I am so fed up of being stuck in the house and DTs are too - 2 weeks is just too long - and I really think we would all benefit from some fresh air. I can't let them go out into the garden just now as it is under a foot of snow and I don't think getting cold and wet playing in the snow would really help them.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but a few of the mums at school have made pointed remarks about how I had better hope there are no pregnant mums/people with low immune systems in the playground so just wondering if taking them for a walk will be bad too? AIBU to think that in a buggy with a rain cover over them and not actually coming into direct contact with anyone they aren't going to infect anyone?

(perfectly happy to accept if IABU - genuinely curious)

batty in the op it says 'spots still appearing' so yes infectious.

I am amazed by these replies. Oh chickenpox is everywhere blah bkah.

There is a difference in taking the chance of going out and knowing you may be exposed by someone who doesnt know but for people to knowingky go out when they are infectious is just selfish.

Bit like parents that send their kids back to school after a sickness bug without waiting for 48hrs after last symptoms.

Kids get sick, germs and viruses are everywhere that doesnt give ys cart blanche to knowingky increase the risk of infecting others!

The NHS website recommends you keep your children away from public areas, would you be happy to ignore any other advice regarding your children or just that which makes your life a little bit harder?

It's such a shame when people disregard this type of information because it inconveniences them. You do understand that vulnerable people are really counting on you to be sensible? But it's OK because it's not your child who could die.

Oh and people should really stop banging on about it being infectious before the spots come, it bears no meaning in this argument. The question is should you knowingly bring your infectious children to a supermarket and the answer is no.

Oh and DontmindifIdo, please tell the ridiculous woman who wants a play date so her son can catch chicken pox that she needs to get a grip Does she know that there can be some nasty complications with CP and her child could be very unwell as a result of her silly little plan?

Of course YABU.

We got dd vaccinated last week as she somehow got to teen years without having it (that we know of). Was rather ouch for the pocket but very easy to organise. She was a bit poorly the next day, but way less poorly than cpox would have made her. She needs a booster in 4 weeks. Def something I'd recommend others considering if theyve got to adulthood without having had it and are able to.

Also if you have a child with an underlying condition, who would be more vulnerable to complications of cp, then they should be eligible for the vaccine on the nhs.

I think they should probably offer it to all girls (at least) alongside the Cervical one and Rubella.

I am astonished at how posters saying that the OP IBU are being accused of BU themselves. At the end of the day the NHS guidelines say to stay at home so I can only assume these posters know better than the medical professionals and that in fact those guidelines are wrong?

The NHS guidelines are sloppily worded - if they meant stay at home, why would they tell you to avoid pregnant people and phone hospitals, etc? Don't go to work, don't go to school, don't go into confined spaces - yes. The OP was taking a huge number of precautions for a pretty tiny trip out. Sending the kids to school WBU, going to a supermarket and letting them run around too. But a quick trip with kids in a buggy under a plastic cover INBU.

And actually, not taking precautions when you are unusually vulnerable IBU.

If you haven't had CP and you plan a pregnancy, you could be vaccinated - it is a v sensible precaution as you are almost sure to be exposed once you have children - and you might be pregnant again. If you are immune suppressed you take masses of precautions anyway, especially around avoiding hand-to-hand contact and close contact with strangers anyway, as I know from my relative's experience when on chemo for NHL. CP is only one of a huge range of things that could adversely impact you, including the common cold and norovirus. All 3 are endemic at this time of year. A couple of obviously spotty kids are the least of your worries.

But a quick trip with kids in a buggy under a plastic cover INBU.

How can you say that with such certainty?

If we all chose to be extremely stupid and bring all of our infectious children out the only precaution a vulnerable person could take is to confine themselves to the house and never see anyone.

Why should they do that for the sake of parents who cannot deal with being at home with their bored, sick children?

It's very easy to be so blasé with these decisions when it's not your child in danger.

x post with MrsD.

Honestly, it's not much to ask.

CP doesn't last very long, suck it up, be sensible and keep your children at home.

A couple of obviously spotty kids are the least of your worries.

Your right, they're not.

It's the thick parents who choose to ignore perfectly simple instructions that are the real danger.

All the information is there.

YANVVU if you do it. Selfish!

I'm vulnerable to infections, specifically chicken pox because of drugs I take to help with arthritis. Just saying.

Put up with it OP - it's hardly the end of the world.

My mum got chickenpox as an adult and was very very ill from it. She got infected from a child in the playground when picking my brother up.

I got infected with shingles from a child with chickenpox when I was 14. I was hospitilized because it was so bad. I got this from someone bringing a small child with chickenpox to a parents evening at my secondary school.

So yes, YABU taking them out unneccessarily. I understand if you have to take them to school, this is acceptable but you should definatlely stand as far away from others as possible and leave the rain cover on. It's only a couple of weeks of isolation it won't kill you and dcs.

No, Mrs D, I am not woefully uniformed, any more than you are being hysterical. We just see things differently. I am advocating a risk-benefit analysis. Not discounting others' risks, but trying to calculate them, and putting the OP's benefits into the equation.

The OP was proposing taking a quick trip with two small children in a pushchair who have CP, covered with a rain cover, one outdoors to do the school run and one into a supermarket to get bread and milk. The NHS advises very vulnerable people who have been in close proximity for 15 minutes or more to contact their GP. None of that is going to happen. As already mentioned, if CP is doing the rounds, the odds are that vulnerable people will be exposed anyway. The additional risk is tiny, though the consequences are huge.

Against that, the OP's DTs are confined for another week when they have already been confined for 2 - with the risk that they will suffer anxiety, agoraphobia, and desocialisation. I put to one side the further risk that the online shopping driver might run someone over on the way to deliver the shopping, probably (depending on what sort of area the OP lives in) a greater risk to life than the one that you think the OP should avoid. I am sure there are other risks, too.

With all risks, you have to set the benefits against it. Otherwise, none of us should cross the road unless to save a life, or get in our cars to drive somewhere, or go outside our bubbles at all. This is what H&S cultures do - they assess the risks and forget the benefits, and often do not assess the risks of the opposite course of action at all. And consequently, sports days are cancelled, trips do not go ahead, and children sit inside terrified of a hostile world full of risks (and untold benefits).

Clearly some emotions run very high here, and as was said originally, there are very entrenched views. I am certainly never going to change mine on this issue, will maintain that those who have not had CP should be vaccinated if they plan pregnancy, and that a quick trip to a well ventilated supermarket with DTs confined to a buggy with a rain cover over the top is not an unreasonable thing for any mother of four to do.

Sleepy, risk benefit analysis is something for when you go paragliding, not just popping to the shops.

You have no idea who out there in the general public has a suppressed immune system or who is at risk, which is why the advice is to stay at home.

Also, as single parent to two children have managed outbreaks of chicken pox, norovirus and swine flu on my own without being rude and infectious all over the place.

Chemists do delivery, so do shops, and back gardens are great outdoor spaces.

I cope every single day with not being able to go outside as I please, and I think managing for a week to take into consideration other people is not much to ask.