This is a trivial issue in comparison to many of the problems on this board, but I would appreciate some wise MN advice.
My oldest friend and I had our babies 6 days apart. It was lovely to share our experiences during pregnancy and early motherhood. We live far away from each other but keep in regular touch by text and see each other occasionally.
Now the girls are 19 months, I feel she has started to get a bit competitive. She doesn't mean any harm, and is a lovely person so I want to deal with it tactfully.
Example - she wants to set up, in her words, an interesting experiment whereby we both try to teach the girls to play Twinkle,twinkle on the piano every day as part of their daily routine. At the end of a few months, we meet up to see which girl is better at it. (I said no to this.)
Today she texted me to say she had had a proud mummy moment when she explained to the mother of a 3 year-old that her 19 month-old can recognise numbers from 1-10. Apparently the other mum said her 3 year-old can't do that.
I haven't replied yet, but will probably just say "well done, that's great." and am unsure what to say. I want our girls to grow up as friends, and really don't want this element of competitiveness to spoil things. My little girl can recognise letters on her alphabet board, but I don't kid myself that it means she can read - she's just doing it spatially.
My friend is so thrilled to be a mum, and I don't want to be churlish, but I am keen to nip the comparisons and competitiveness in the bud while the girls are still little. Please advise....
AIBU?
to discourage competitive parenting
seoladair · 04/01/2013 19:14
Sorry, I can't stop laughing that she wanted you both to teach your one year old to play twinkle twinkle. 
I am less of a person than you, I would have taken on the challenge, done nothing all day everyday except tutor my DC in playing twinkle twinkle to enusre next time we met up I mu DC won.
I too wasn't competitive at school, but came quite competitive when I had DC1. I think it was because I realised he rolled, crawled, walked, talked and recognised numbers and words quite early. So, speaking from experience, there is only one way to shut up a mother like this...beat them at their own game and make out your DC is way more advanced. Lie if you need to.
Or you could be mature like the other posters on this thread, and don't engage.
BTW, I have calmed down since having 2 more DC, and realised different DC have different talents.
I would go for the 'oh dear no, that might seem a bit like we are comparing them and of course we all know that good parents never compare children against each other, they're all wonderful in their own different ways' approach
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.