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AIBU?

To think that dd1's broken netbook should be replaced or repaired asap at no cost to dd1?

100 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 01/01/2013 20:53

Dd1 rarely uses it. DH is always on it. He always leaves it rested on the sofa, he never puts it away. Dd2 also likes to use it and leaves it rested on the sofa.

On the rare occasions I have seen dd1 with it she puts it back in the netbook bag I bought her or puts it on top of my xbox under the TV. I have never seen dd1 leave it on the sofa. I have known for her to hide it from DH and dd2, but generally only in places I myself would keep it.

It has been dropped, the hinge and power button have broken. It will turn on but frequently switches itself off. No one is taking responsibility for it. Dd1 is a bad liar. I firmly believe her when she tells me she knew nothing about it being broken until this evening and that it was working fine when she used it last week. DH and dd2 are better liars and both insistent that it was working yesterday, when they used it. I saw it working yesterday when dd2 was last on it. I also saw dd2 close it and put it down, still working. Somewhere between that afternoon and the evening it has been broken. I did not see anyone using it after dd2, when it was still working but I went out to work. It must have happened while I was at work. No one is admitting to using it in this time.

I think it should be repaired or replaced asap because it was dd1's birthday gift last year and she should not have to suffer because other people cannot look after things they borrow. DH is denying any responsibility and saying she should not have a new one if this one cannot be repaired cheaply.

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complexnumber · 03/01/2013 12:03

All in all, I can't help but think there are some very strange dynamics going on within this family; members holding back truths, matriarch giving permission, pocket money for adults... it's just not something I am familiar with.

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AmberLeaf · 03/01/2013 11:54

sorry, I posted that on page 3 thinking it was the last page! and I didnt activate my link

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/330827936347?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1439.l2649

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AmberLeaf · 03/01/2013 11:54

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/330827936347?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1439.l2649

The above is very cheap, but good.

You DH should absolutely pay for the replacement.

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seeker · 03/01/2013 11:40

Good idea. And don't tell her the combination- then they can't get it out of her.

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JsOtherHalf · 03/01/2013 11:37

Put a combination padlock on a small suitcase to keep the new one safe?

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D0oinMeCleanin · 02/01/2013 23:06

I went to Platinum PC (that was the second shop) and that new one opposite Entertainment Zone on York Rd.

Why I went to the new one I don't know. Everything is overpriced in there.

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PomBearWithAnOFRS · 02/01/2013 23:01

For God's sake don't take it to Kingfisher in Church St dooin they are lying cheating robbing theiving bastards - pm if you want the gory details but steer WELL clear of them!

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CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 02/01/2013 22:12

Try listing the broken one on Ebay. Provide photos and a proper description of the damage and see what happens. You never know. Maybe put a £20 starting price... I bet it sells.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 02/01/2013 17:37

We took it to two different repair shops, the first one, who I never fully trust quoted £130 plus. He said that the casing where the hinge fits has also cracked and so everything would need replacing. He also that the network adapter probably needed replacing, hence the plus bit of his price and I would better off buying a second hand one and oh look, he has lots all at brilliant prices Hmm

The second shop who I deal more often with agreed the casing had cracked and it would all need replacing, which is expensive. He told me that there is no way of knowing if anything inside it needs replacing without opening it up and that it sounds like we need to reinstall some drivers, that is all. He wrote down the name of the drivers we'd need and quoted £100 to fix it. He also agreed that this was more than the netbook itself is now worth.

The lovely man in the second hand shop agreed that it is not worth fixing and said the price of the second shop we visited sounded fair. He knows someone who would fix it for us, but they'd charge around the same. He wrote down the names of some site where we can buy refurbished netbooks and wrote down some brands to watch out for and some to avoid.

Her replacement netbook is arriving at the end of the week.

I will have to have a think about how to keep it safe for her.

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nickelbabylyinginamanger · 02/01/2013 17:16

i agree complex - i think you should password protect the computer, and hide it away from DD1 every time she uses it. Make it so she has to ask you for it.
so that she really doesn't know where it is and isn't lying.

it's a big responsibility to a child to have to lie to someone.

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Voiceofsomeone · 02/01/2013 17:14

Look at the Internet history to work out who used it last .

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complexnumber · 02/01/2013 16:09

You have already stated that Dd1 is a bad liar and you are now about to ask her to lie to your husband.

Is that wise?

Personally I would worry that things could turn very ugly if it comes out that you have been encouraging your children to lie to their father, however reasonable that might sound at the moment.

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caramelwaffle · 02/01/2013 15:34

Your dd1 sounds lovely and yes, you deserve better in life than this.

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HecatePropolos · 02/01/2013 15:31

I am SO glad. You and the kids deserve so much more than this life.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 02/01/2013 15:23

I decided ages ago I was leaving. I just need the DC back at school so I can start making arrangements.

Dd1 is going to hide her netbook and claim I have put it away and she doesn't know where it is. She is also going to tell them I have put the password on and she can't remember what it is.

TBH I think DH is too lazy to pester her or look for it when there are other computers in the house he could access.

But once it is repaired/replaced I will be telling both DH and dd2 that they are not allowed to use it.

Passwords are already changed. Dd1 will have to ask me to log her in if she wants to use my accounts.

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HecatePropolos · 02/01/2013 15:18

I dont mean to be harsh because i know youre a good person in a shit situation, but You can't give your daughter that responsibility - re passwords. It puts a child in an unacceptable and impossible situation and is quite unfair.
What are you going to do about him? Stay? Leave?

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nickelbabylyinginamanger · 02/01/2013 14:42

and you really need to change your passwords.

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FannyFifer · 02/01/2013 14:26

Wow, so much going on here, how old is your husband for fucks sake, quite obviously he broke it & you can see he has been snooping your Facebook inbox.
This really isn't normal behaviour or a normal way to live to be honest.

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PureQuintessence · 02/01/2013 14:17

When are you going to leave this sorry and pathetic excuse of a shit human being?

You are always complaining about him, how he does not feed the kids, expects you to bring him your staff meal so that you have to come home and cook your own after work, etc. He is vile. I feel so sorry for you and your girls.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 02/01/2013 14:12

Also I don't think he is snooping on here. He used to under a different name, but I don't think he has under this one.

I do use different passwords for FB, Amazon etc. but dd1 has my passwords to FB, Amazon and Hotmail. She is not allowed her own FB, she is too young, so she uses mine occasionally to keep in touch with family members she doesn't see often and to play games on. She is allowed to purchase books, MP4 tracks and kindle things with my Amazon as long as she checks with me first, so has my Amazon password for that, she has has my Hotmail so she can check her confirmation emails from Amazon.

I think he must have asked dd1 for the passwords to FB and Amazon. I've never told her not to give them out to him. I never expected I would need to. The history shows he has been reading my FB inbox and checking my Amazon purchase history.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 02/01/2013 13:50

I agree that it is ridiculous but dd2 has her own laptop, the only reason she uses dd1's is that it is always out and connected so it is easier than getting her own out, plus the netbook is smaller and easier for her to carry.

DH also has a very high spec PC that he has use of but it is not in the living room so he cannot watch TV and play Facebook games at the same time, so he uses the netbook.

Why should dd1 have to accept her things being damaged because other people cannot be bothered to use the same care with them as she does?

She does share, but until dd2 learns to care for dd1's things the way dd1 does then she shouldn't have to share. And as for DH, well ... Angry

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WeAreEternal · 02/01/2013 10:24

Why are they using DD1's laptop when there is already another laptop and a pc in the house?

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TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy · 02/01/2013 10:14

That's ridiculous. Raising you children not to share or trust even there own family members?

Plus dh is now saying he was out when meant to be caring for the children. And dd2 is too scared to admit whether she did or did not break it.

Dd1 clearly does care for her things. But if her father expects to use her netbook how can she refuse? If dd2 sees its ok to use her netbook or the father says its ok to use the netbook, again, how can she refuse?

Parenting is a responsibility not an ownership. Children and their things need care, which is taught through example.

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ZeldaUpNorth · 02/01/2013 09:36

Could you not claim on house insurance? Or would the excess be too much?

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happynewmind · 02/01/2013 09:21

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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