to think that my friend shouldn't just let her 1yr old scream in public

[fexedmamma]

he's always been a loud baby. He screams a lot (although only in public). It's not screams of anger or upset. It's more like screaming for screaming's sake. My friend just sits there whilst everyone around whinces in pain (it's an ear-piercing pitch). This happens is resturaunts and libraries. I find it very stressful and unpleasant. Worse still, my kids (who aren't screamers) start to copy.

[Mintyy]

Distract, say No firmly, distract again, change location, distract some more. I agree with you that parents should do their best to get their dc to stop doing this rather than just smiling indulgently.

[littlemisspoppy]

I tried alsorts to get mine to stop screaming, the most effective way I found was too ignore them! If it was in a library and they kept doing it I would just leave the library though.

[fexedmamma]

"If she just sits there smiling and ignoring"

That's exactly what she does. I think she might even find it funny.

[RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles]

I think she has the right approach, don't give the screaming any attention. Otherwise baby learns screaming means attention. Painful as it is, baby is only testing it's voice and seeing what the reaction is. Eventually if it achieves nothing, they'll most likely stop. If not, it can be tackled when they get older and have a bit more understanding.

[Janeatthebarre]

That's all very well Rabbit, but places like restaurants and libraries are not the ideal place to be training your child to realise this. What about other people trying to enjoy a meal they've paid for, or students trying to read in a library?

[fexedmamma]

Rabbitts - so everyone else gets their meals destroyed. They just have to suck it up?

[FestiveDigestive]

My DD used to make a very loud screech just like a dinosaur. She was between 9-12 months when she repeatedly did this. She wasn't upset - I think she just enjoyed the sound.

We still went out - even to PUBLIC places. I now realise I was very lucky not to be banned from the library or thrown out of playgroups. I can't believe my friends stuck by me. They put their own babies at risk of catching the dinosaur screech.

[WhatsTheBuzz]

fexedmamma so your 1yo is obedient and does as asked and your friend's doesn't? Gosh, what a brat. I thought you were referring to typical 1yo behaviour but if yours don't do it when you ask them not to............

[Janeatthebarre]

The poing Festive is that libraries are meant to be quiet places where people are often trying to study or research. If your baby is a screamer why would you bring him in there?? Surely you could go when your DP is at home to mind the baby or even sacrifice a few trips to the libary until you have got him through this phase. It isn't all about you. There are other people to be considered.

[Janeatthebarre]

Point, not poing.

[MoomieAndFreddie]

yanbu - i get what you mean too OP

there was one in the cafe me and my friend was in today and his mum was just ignoring him, sorry but i think there are ways to distract babies, my dcs were quite screamy babies at times but i would be able to calm them if i tried. sometimes the more they scream the more they wind themselves up so if you can even calm them down slightly it helps chill them out iyswim

sometimes dummies are your friend

[RyleDup]

Well I wouldn't take a one yr old going through a screaming phase to a restaurant or library anyway. Too much stress. Supermarkets however are fair game.

[HoratiaWinwood]

When you say 1yo, is that 12m or 23m?

It can be annoying to hear a child screech when the parent is doing nothing about it. But sometimes "nothing" is actually "ignoring the tantrums as recommended by the HV" or "taking two fucking minutes for herself out of a hellish day" so we can sometimes be kind.

[MoomieAndFreddie]

yes thats true horatia - big difference there

[junowiththegladrags]

My dd went through a phase of this. Only thing that stopped her was ignoring her.
Any attempt at distraction or plamássing just made her scream louder.

[MoomieAndFreddie]

despite my last post, i do think its disgusting when judgemental cunts people tut and stare. and would never do it.

where is the need, it helps no one.

[Beamur]

YANBU - ok, it's probably just a phase and maybe ignoring is a good tactic in the long run, but it is inconsiderate to allow a child to ruin everyone elses time. Sorry to those of you who have screamers, it can't be much fun!

[Lottapianos]

YANBU OP. It would drive me insane. Agree with other posters who say distraction is the way forward. Not sure whether I would be brave enough to offer advice if she was my friend.

[ElkiesBrook]

i tend to ignore attention seeking behaviour too

[Mintyy]

Such a shame that Dead69girl's post will probably be deleted when it really should stand as a record of the type of thing she is prepared to say to a stranger on the internet.

[takataka]

everyone else's meal aren't 'destroyed' are they, actually?

[PatriciaHolm]

OP, did you really just join MN or change your username just to poke us with a stick post this?

[yousankmybattleship]

Ignoring sounds like a pretty good policy to me. I hope she's also able to ignore your judginess. You don't sounds like a very good friend.

[goodiegoodieyumyum]

My ds is very loud, screaming not so much but he makes lots of happy loud noises, we were in church on Saturday night and there was nothing I could do to stop him, how do you stop a baby making very, very loud happy noises as loud or louder than a scream YABU.