A shopkeeper hit my baby

[LoopsInHoops]

Firstly, we're not in the UK, and here people to beat smack their kids. It is socially normal.

DD (17 months) had a bit of a breakdown in the chemists. She was tired and hungry. I was holding her and a few things at the checkout. She grabbed something and threw it on the floor and screamed. I was just about to pay, so couldn't really leave. She grabbed my neck and clawed me, then bit my shoulder. The shop assistant rang up the amout, then insisted on the correct change, which delayed things further, DD still screaming. She put the stuff in a bag, handed it to me, them smacked DD on the arm. Not hard, but deliberately. At this point she was screaming but not hurting or grabbing.

I didn't know what to do. I just glared at her and walked off. DD carried on screaming.

What should I have done? WIBU to walk off, or should I have said something?

[MmeLindor]

oooh, I know a head of HR at an oil company. Maybe I should send him this to see if he recognises Snoopy.

[MmeLindor]

As to the actual thread:

Those who are saying, 'I would have lamped her' or 'I'd have gone ballistic'... until you have lived abroad, you don't know if that is how you would have reacted.

It is a curious thing - even normally confident and outspoken people can become unsure and reluctant to speak out in a foreign culture. It is quite intimidating to be in a country where you cannot argue with the locals - if several of them start shouting at you, then you cannot speak up, or defend your opinion.

OP
I don't blame you for just walking out. Chalk it up to experience and avoid that shop.

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

Snooopy, drugs are frowned upon, you know that don't you.


This is comedy gold

[Whatnowffs]

Mmelindor - you are exactly right - and not just in foreign cultures, i don't think anyone could really say how we would have reacted. I reckon most of us would have done exactly what the OP did. In my minds eye i would go all lioness and lamped her one, but the sensible me would tell me that is really bad behaviour and not the example i'd want to set my child. I think I would have complained though.

[ccarpenton]

There is a piece missing from your story. What was so pressing on your time that you had to ignore your daughter? What overwhelming timetable meant that you did not have 2 minutes to attend to your own daughter instead of ignoring her actions and buying stuff?

That fact you thought your options where a) ignore her or b) leave the shop - indicates that you feel you to not have the skills to address your daughter's behaviour.

"I was just about to pay, so couldn't really leave." - really? And you are surprised that your daughter has to act out so horrendously to get your attention when that is the kind of excuse you have? Every child gets tired and hungry regularly.

The fact you are not in the UK allowed the shopkeeper to express their feelings physically. It is wrong in this country. But in context, the shopkeeper may have been doing something they felt was right. You were not obviously able to cope with your daughter's behaviour and the fact the shopkeeper sharply smacked your daughter's arm (i.e. her "weapons" at this point) shows they may have felt they were acting in your best interests.

Hard to say without a stronger cultural reference. If it happened in the UK, the person that smacked the child would most likely be an ar*ehole.

[PoppyAmex]

Words fail me

[FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda]

I've just looked it up for you OP. The Malaysian law which allows smacking is Article 89 of the Penal Code. It states (bold added by me):

'Nothing, which is done in good faith for the benefit of a person under twelve years of age ... by or by consent, either express or implied, of the guardian or other person having lawful charge of that person, is an offence by reason of any harm which it may cause, or be intended by the doer to cause, or be known by the doer to be likely to cause, to that person...'

If she didn't have your consent, either express or implied, then she broke the law when she smacked your child.

[PoppyAmex]

Carpeton your post is ridiculous.

I was going to type a long answer but I don't think it would make a difference in this case.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Have we been invaded again?

[sillymillyb]

Ha, you did the same googling as me sudka1

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Oooh socks everywhere...

[MmeLindor]

cc
errrrrrrrrrr, did you miss that the OP's DD is 17mths old. 'not able to cope with her behaviour' - haven't we all had moments like that with a toddler kicking off?

And I really don't think it is on to openly speculate on, and to post the possible name, of Snoopy, Sudka - even if she has given more info than is sensible

[Softlysoftly]

This is brilliant!

Mme anyone can get that info now googling and tbh it's one of many on LinkedIn so highly unlikely.

I for 1 believe Snoopy as she has no clue about the law and is clearly batshit, 2 strong HR traits (awaits telling off from HR people).

OP it's wrong but tbh I'd just chalk it up as lesson learnt and let it go.

[MmeLindor]

Softly
of course they can, and Snoopy was ridiculous to give away so much info on an internet forum, but naming is different.

[Moominsarescary]

carpenton what are you on about, it's a 17 month old for goodness sake

[Whatnowffs]

Yeah, christ, on a bike - i know i was close to the mark, but there is no way I would actually out someone on here - maybe this thread needs to disappear now???

[solittletime]

Op fwiw I have lived in Africa in countries were smacking is acceptable and barely given a second thought, as well as touching and picking up a child spontaneously.

But I am pretty sure smacking someone else's child while the child is in mother's arms would not have gone down well. People were equally aware that foreigners had different views on smacking and respected that cultural difference.
If it is still bothering you I would just ask your local friends if that kind of thing is seen as ok and ask their advice.

[DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved]

Baffled! Sorry OP your thread fell down a rabbit hole...

[ripsishere]

OP, I believe you. we live in Selangor, so not a million miles from you. Yesterday at a wedding, a child was being admonished by his father. With the flat of his hand. It wasn't nice.
I think Mme Lindor has the best advice. Ever.

[ripsishere]

BTW, it did go a bit bats hit for a while.
Snoopy, are you Petronas? I can't think of any other oil derivative firm here.
I always use Petronas, it's at the top of my road.

[LoopsInHoops]

S/he is in Dubai, not here. S/he is lying when s/he says s/he has lived here. I don't believe that for a moment. A money obsessed oil employee working in a taxable state thinking it's tax free? Nah.

Bet yes, I'll ask around, see what others think. But I won't be going back there, either to complain or to shop. Was just a bit odd. (Much like this thread)

Rip, how are you getting on anyway? Everything going smoothly?

[LadyMaryChristmas]

Poor little one. I hope she's OK.

(Twas Sybil)

[LoopsInHoops]

I know who you are lovely, I've clocked you already

[LadyMaryChristmas]

There's no need for anyone to do that though, you must have been horrified. Is she OK?