I informed my longish distance fiance my grandfather died today..i fully expected him to call on his lunch break. We habitually text throughout the day. He said i should have asked him to call. This eve a text to say hope you're ok and his phone is not working well...then when i eventually email and he replies i say i had expected him to call or get in touch somehow as i certainly would have if his grandmother had died..the blame is mine. He says i am being out of order to make him feel guilty and i know he is there if i need him.
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AIBU?
PurplePidjin ·
15/11/2012 23:02
Is his cock made of chocolate coated diamond that you should be so grateful for his attentions? 
HecatePropylaea ·
16/11/2012 07:02
Did you reply to his texts all day? Or did you ignore them?
If you replied, he probably feels you are suitably punished.
If you didn't reply, he probably thinks shit, probably pushed this one too hard, better give her some hope to cling to.
He's an arse.
you didn't say stuff to MAKE him feel bad. You told him that you felt let down - and you had a right to!
Instead of saying "yes, sorry, I should have at least acknowledged your loss" etc - he goes on the attack
He makes the pain of your loss all about him. He makes you feel bad for needing him! He makes him the victim and you apologise
He then treats you to a full day of spiteful texts before throwing you a bone. Which I hope to god you don't do what I think you're going to do and be grateful for it, feel happy he's forgiven you, etc.
Well, you are suitably punished now, aren't you? You've been made to feel like a terrible person for expecting your fiance to care about you. He's turned it round to a failure on your part, had you apologise, had you feeling like it's your fault, treated you to abusive texts all day and then deigned to forgive you
I have the feeling that you're going to marry him regardless. you're going to take this fake apology as evidence that he loves you really. You're going to believe that actually, it was your fault.
And you'll be back here, in a year, in two years, detailing your marriage to a controlling and verbally abusive man. 
I hope I am wrong. I really hope I am wrong. Because your life is going to be shit and you'll look back on today one day and you'll say I wish I'd listened back then.
Please. I am begging you! You have a chance to walk away and spare yourself the life many women on here have suffered. you don't have children with him. You don't have ties to him. You don't even live with him. It's so easy (compared!)
Don't walk into a world that women who are in would give anything to get out of.
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