To think I wouldn’t have wasted two hours in A&E if DS had told me…

[Kleinzeit]

.. that just before he fainted in school for no apparent reason, another boy had given him a "friendly tap" in the balls?

Dunno whether to be more relieved or cross!

[ruby1234]

It's not just children..... My DH had to go to A&E many years ago; our DD had a 'stick to the highchair rattle' which my DH licked and stuck to his forehead. He left it there for a while, bobbing his head up and down to make it rattle. DD was delighted. Unfortunately DH couldn't get it off, and we had to drive into a busy hospital to get it prized off. Left a lovely red circle on his head. I saw one in a shop the other day which reminded me, but nowadays those rattles have little lips on them to undo the suction (maybe he wasn't the only person to get one stuck).

[PanickedForNoRaisin]

Had to name change for this as everyone who knows me knows this story...

DS who was 2 at the time was messing around with DH and while shrieking had his mouth open really wide. DH yelled to me to come quickly and look in DS's mouth. The whole of the roof of his mouth was covered in a thick brown coating and there was what looked like a black hole.

I went into major panic mode and phoned the OOH doctors who said we were to get down there straight away, it sounded like DS had pierced the roof of his mouth somehow. So off we flew...

...OOH doctor scrapes out the remains of the raisins DS had been eating hours earlier

[CaptainSolo]

EmmaNemms My brother did the exact same thing when he was about 7 but he did end up at the Drs as my parents had no idea what could have caused this awful rash (Dad had even been called to come home early from work!!). Dr was baffled but told parents to see how it developed and come back if there was any other symptoms.

Returned home, laid him on the settee (he was really milking the attention) and got him a drink. Mystery solved when they saw him do exactly what you described with the empty glass

[borednotboring]

I can laugh about this now....

When DD was 21 days old, she was taken in an ambulance to hospital, very seriously ill with an infection, ended up in High Dependency Unit, lots of concerned doctors and nurses. All of a sudden her face goes red, her eyes bulge and she looks like she's straining, doctors become concerned she's fitting and order a brain scan. Scan comes back clear (apparently she has a beautiful brain ), it happens again, doctors still concerned. Then I make the link, each time it happens it's linked to a very full nappy appearing. Turns out her poo face looks like a baby having a fit............

(DD all fine, very healthy almost 4 yr old, and that story is being saved for the first boyfriend)

[cory]

Afraid this one isn't funny. Spent the best part of last week trying to get hold of a psychiatrist as dd was delusional and clearly a suicide risk in her desperation to get away from the absolutely ghastly voices in her head. Turned out to be an otherwise symptom free bladder infection.

I think this might actually class as our worst week ever, marginally above the time we were suspected of abusing her (turned out to be a connective tissue disorder) and perhaps in some ways even worse than the week when she did attempt suicide - at least that one passed quickly; she survived and we knew she wouldn't do it again in a hurry; this time, we were left thinking this might be forever...

So if ever one of your children/partners/grannies start acting very strangely, don't forget to have their urine tested before you think about sectioning.

[QuietNinjaTardis]

Ds was going thru a climb away and kick at mummy phase when trying to change his nappy and one day I noticed on each shin 4 small fingertip sized bruises. I thought shit I've grabbed him so hard I've bruised him, gobsmacked that I could've done it. Took him out on his trike a couple of days later and as he hadn't learnt to peddle he pushed it along with his feet and as he went along the pedals hit his shins every time they turned. phew

[BiteTheTopsOffIcedGems]

My daughter was sent home from school with explosive diarrhoea.
I dreaded the 24 hours of D and V that the whole family would all catch. I desperately decided to clean the house to prevent us catching us. As I was bleaching the kitchen I found a large jar of chocolate spread with a spoon in it hidden behind the cornflakes.
I confronted her with the evidence. She looked green.
She's never eaten it since.

[YankeeAlphaBravoUniform]

A colleague took her hamster to the vet petrified it was dying as its tummy had a weeping,sore wound, which even when she mopped it up with cotton wool balls still wept.

Vet was crying with laughter telling her the hamster had hit puberty and was having the normal teenage boy reaction to someone rubbing on his nether regions.

[larry5]

Ds2 - now 35 - has to be described as accident prone. He broke his wrist the first time when he was 16 months old by coming through our ranch style banisters. I caught him before he fell but he had given himself a stress fracture. It took me 2 days to take him to the doctor and I only took him then because he stopped crawling and was bottom shuffling.

When I took him to dr I thought he must have hurt his leg. They put him in plaster but 3 days later after I had put him in is pram I found the plaster on the floor next to him. Back to hospital for a new plaster. Following morning this plaster was on the floor next to the cot. Another trip to the hospital where they strapped his arm up with sticky bandages so that he couldn't get it off.

[RandallPinkFloyd]

Still chuckling, especially at popeye

Luckily ds is too young for this kind of caper yet but it does remind me of the time dsis took her beloved dog to the vet with a very worrying lump only to have a small but solid pebble of shit pulled from deep within his short hair

[madbengal]

When I was 3 I had a game where I would jump off the stars and my dad would catch me, I decided 1 day to do this when he wasnt there and the coffee table caught me instead! 1 collasped lung later I started using a tonka trunk as a skate board down them instead rofl

DD luckily hasnt got that from me

[Oblomov]

This thread is brilliant.

[lemmein]

When my DD was a baby i was changing her nappy and noticed what looked like a big, yellow boil at the top of her fanjo. I panicked and shouted DH- he got some cotton wool, dabbed it and it fell off

On closer inspection it was actually a bit of sweetcorn!!

[MrsEddChina]

My DH fell of his skateboard when he was younger, hurt his foot. Complained to his parents who thought he was just making it up. They went out for the day to the seaside, my DH trailing along behind them, all day, complaining his foot hurt. They eventually took him to a&e and he had broken it!

[Pourquoimoi]

Yes funny - similar story here. I broke my toe when I was 11, my mum thought it was nothing much until I tried to put my school shoe on and my foot wouldn't go anywhere near it. That was 2 days after the accident. She then took me to the GP who sent me to A&E where X-ray confirmed a nasty break. I think she felt quite guilty as I limped around with a hard splint on my foot for six weeks .

[Funnylittleturkishdelight]

As an adventurous child I loved climbing trees- and would normally do so barefoot like some sort of throwback to the golden age. So when I tried to climb with my wellies still on- I misjudged the footing size, got welly stuck I fell back and landed on my wrist. Loud crack.

Mum says it's fine and would hurt more if I had broken it. I said it hurt. She said she'd done a St. John's ambulance course, it was fine, made me a sling. Two days passed. I had been attempting monkey bars and all sorts- still hurt. I upped my whinging and got taken to a and e.

It's not fractured, she told everyone that would listen.

It was fractured. I got a cast, sympathy and the authority to judge who needs to go to hospital, in every future accident.

[Softlysoftly]

Took DD1 (3) to the DRs last week for a chesty cough, she has a history of needing inhalers, possible asthma. She's marched in proudly for the check telling him all about her terrible cough that needed medicine.

Quick check to declare all clear no infection. DD did turned to me and said "but I want to see another Dr, a good Dr"

[FutureNannyOgg]

DS1 had a tantrum in town and threw himself to the floor when DH was holding his hand. Cried all the way home and when we got in I noticed he was holding his arm funny and this probably wasn't the usual "evil parents won't let me play in the road" shitfit.
Carefully put him back in the car. At A&E he was playing with cars, crawling on the floor after them.
The nurse reckoned he had popped his elbow out, but maneuvering it into his car seat harness had put it back!
Now we always use his reins. ..

[SantasComingFace]

When I was younger I had a nasty fall in the bath, huge bruising and swelling to my face.

My parents were both interviewed, my mum so worried that they thought it was them who hurt me.

The reason for concern was that in her panic she had dressed me but not dried me.

[Puremince]

I found DS, just turned 5, collapsed on our bedroom floor. He complained of a very sore tummy and was all curled up. He couldn't stand up or walk; I had to carry him, whimpering, to the car. He was farting all the way to the emergency doctor's appointment, was able to shuffle bent over into the doctor's waiting room, more farts, and he was completely recovered and dancing around by the time the doctor saw him.

Two days later I found him on the same spot, in the same state. Turned out a classmate had told him that if he stood in front of a mirror and took deep, rapid gulps of air, his biceps would inflate like Popeye's.

[EmmaNemms]

My dd, aged about 15 at the time, had a mysterious rash around her mouth and chin, almost circular. Was about to take her to GP when I saw her having a drink, then absent mindedly sucking the air out of the mug so it was held against her face by suction. Mystery solved....

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I called the out of hours doctor to report that my 9 month old DS's gum was badly infected and tinged green. Well it was either that or a grape skin that was stuck to his gum

[Kveta]

Ds fell awkwardly in the bath earlier this year and was limping and crying afterwards, but we put him to bed and thought he would be fine in the morning.

Next morning he limped into our room crying, wouldn't eat breakfast, so I called my mum (paediatric radiographer) who said to take him to a+e as toddlers often have fractured heels from the type of fall he had.

So we drove through rush hour traffic to the hospital with him whimpering in the back and me feeling increasingly guilty. 45 minutes to drive what is normally a 20minute journey. Got there and he refused to put any weight on his 'ow foot', so despite being heavily pg, I carried my poor Pfb across the car park, him crying all the way, me getting a bit frantic. Triage nurse saw him and said 'could I see him walk please?' Me: 'oh, not sure he can walk on it but I will put him down to try'. Place him on the floor where he is all huge eyed and poorly looking, standing like a flamingo with one leg raised.

All watching him very concerned.

Then an ambulance went past the a+e door, ds went 'oooh! Nee naw!!' And sprinted to the exit.

Triage nurse 'I think he's ok'
Me 'not when I catch up with him!'

Little bugger!

[3bunnies]

Dd2 fell onto a turtle in a toddler pool and split her chin open. At A+E the nurse practitioner questioned me about what type of turtle this was that she fell onto. When I said 'oh I guess either plastic or fibre glass', realisation dawned on his face and and he said 'oh not a real turtle then', eh doh! Sadly all 8 of her trips have been genuine, but evened out by the other two who have never been, so averages 1 trip every 2 years rather than more than twice a year if she is considered in isolation!

[merlottits]

I've had a scare with my DD (4) recently. I was asked to the school as she has been falling over rather a lot and they have become concerned. In fact she had twice fallen off her chair whilst writing for no apparent reason. The teacher looked pure white when telling me - it was obvious she was convinced DD had a serious neurological problem.

I made an appointment with the GP after spending hours agonising with DH about what we would do when DD was diagnosed with a brain tumour/epilepsy etc. I felt awful that I had missed something but I had been so busy - I was a terrible mother etc.

On the way to GP - "mummy - I only fall over because I want to cuddle Mr Teddy in classroom and get a brave girl sticker"

Yes, no neurological problem just attention seeking