to be annoyed at the train conductor...

[oaks2012]

My nearly two year old and I were travelling home on the train from my SILs (visiting new baby).. We stayed longer than intended so he missed his nap and was restless on the train. I had him on my lap, looking at a toddler game which makes a twinkling sound when he touches the screen (along with colours and shapes).. The "conductor" (was the London Overground - it said conductor on his jacket, he seemed to be getting off at each stop and blowing a whistle!) told me to turn the sound off as it was disturbing others in the carriage - I hadnt noticed anyone looking disturbed by it, nor disturbed by a woman who kept shouting down her phone whenever it rang..

I did as I was told - turned the sound off - but my tired and grumpy boy had a meltdown and cried on my lap for the next few stops, and only stopped when I let him get down and wandered the carriage with him..

Surely the twinking mobile noise would have been better than a screaming child?!!!

[Nivet]

Honor Oaker, someone who lives in Honor Oak - you must be one of those odd North London types

Anyway, even if you are wrong side of the river I'm on your side.

[formerdiva]

YANBU. And anyone who would prefer to hear a distressed child is ...well...not very nice? (It's late, I haven't eaten and seem to have lost the power to express myself. Time for a Dopiaza)

[captainmummy]

I don't think it was a choice between screaming child or infernal 'twinkling'. Most people would rather have nothing. Unfortunately, most people also believe children come with an off switch, which the parent can/should access.

[5madthings]

Unless you were in a quiet carriage where they say no electronic devicrs then ywnbu the train conductor was.

Seriously its an electronic gadget better than a screaming baby anyday.

Op hope your treatment goes well xxc

[oaks2012]

Nivet... Honor Oaker... Honor Oak.. I should have been able to work that out... Proof its been a long day.. Im in Camden Town - so Im on the right side of the river ;)

[Nivet]

You are on the side of the river that has arse hole conductors

BTW, DH is just coming out the other side of his cancer treatment. He got very tired towards the end so I can empathise. You did well not to just start sobbing with your DS. Good luck with your treatment.

[mrslaughan]

Give me twinkling noises over screaming toddler any day.....

[oaks2012]

MrsTerryPratchett - it was the London Overground - so a cross between the tube and a normal train (its got the new tubes with the carriages which are all joined and you can walk between them without a door)..

Was very busy, very noisy.. There werent any drunks, but lots of noisy mobile phone shouters..

On a slightly different note - I was once on the underground, and a drunk had fallen asleep and peed himself. He was slouched on a seat - and the wee was all over his trousers, down his leg, and all over the floor. I suspected by the amount, he had peed himself more than once. I got on, realised, got off and told a member of staff.. The reply - "what do you want me to do about it?"

[oaks2012]

Thanks Nivet.. To be honest, the uncontrollable cancer crying is NOTHING compared to uncontrollable pregnancy crying... I was particularly bad with pregnancy (example, lost keys in flat, found keys, on finding keys, burst into tears). If I was pregnant, I would have undoubtedly burst into tears, and continued crying till I got home!!

To be fair, I had the cancer during pregnancy, so that may have made it worse.

Im at the end of the treatment, so am rebuilding immune system and strength.. Feel a lot better now than I have for the last couple of years.. Hope all is well with your DH :)

[EllenParsons]

I would prefer the twinkling sound to a crying baby - cant stand crying babies on trains (though I know it can be unavoidable!) so would definitely tolerate a bit of mild noise from a game to avoid it

[EmpressOfTheSevenRomanCandles]

Good luck, oaks.

I wouldn't object to you entertaining your DS. I just wouldn't want to listen, hence moving instead of complaining.

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

Oaks - some people are just bloody miserable. I hate electronic beeping noises, but if it's keeping a toddler happy then twinke away.

Do those trains have quiet carriages? If so, were you in one?

Older kids on games, people on phones, people with headphones which do not contain the noise... all bloody annoying, small child playing happily - no.

Sorry to hear about the cancer, but glad you are starting to feel a bit less awful!

[oaks2012]

Was just a normal carriage, not a quiet one.

Im very laid back with sound, but did notice shouty mobile lady would have been more of an annoyance to me than twinkly toddler. As would screaming toddler.. But more so because I find childrens cries a bit distressing. Esp babies cries..

What bothers me is people who cough and dont cover their mouths. And people that pick their fingernails and flick on floor. shudders

[StanleyLambchop]

Yanbu

[Lifeisontheup]

I would have been more concerned if you had given him a recorder.

[MrsWhoGivesaShit]

I work for the overground. They ask that music etc is not played as to not disturb other passengers. so i imagine that is why he asked you to turn it off. to be honest it would have driven me mad, but then again so would a screaming toddler!

[Mousefunk]

Oh good grief. I've been on trains where drunken idiots have been shouting and singing really loudly, where some guy was blatantly smoking so another guy asked him to stop and it ended up turning into a big row and put up with people bellowing on their phones about really private stuff which I never understood and people blasting chav nation from their phones.. Never.Once.Has.A.Conductor.Done.Anything.. seriously.
Twinkling? I mean what is a bit of twinkling? Probably wouldn't even notice it and would take it over a screaming child any day (even after three kids I haven't got used to that sound).

[Rockchick1984]

Depends entirely on how loud the twinkling was! On the lowest volume in a noisy train carriage, it should only be heard by you and DS, so if it was loud enough for others to hear YABU but could have just turned it right down rather than off completely. My DS is 19 months and not convinced about him wearing headphones without trying to eat them so I personally wouldn't have tried that one :) maybe pop a couple of videos onto your phone, hearing a show would be far less irritating to most people than the awful beeping from games!

Good luck with your treatment, I hope you get your all clear soon

[lljkk]

yanbu.

[OnwardBound]

YANBU. I would also have been annoyed.

I have been on the tube/overground where people are shouting into mobile phones, drunks are swearing and singing, fights are kicking off, people are listening to very loud boom boom boom music via headphones...

Never once have I seen a conductor intervene... in fact I have rarely seen a conductor!

I don't think you were being unreasonable unless you were specifically in the official 'quiet' carriage or the twinking noise was excessively loud.

FGS I would prefer a quiet happy toddler playing a game which has a twinkly noise to a screaming melt down toddler any day.

The conductor was being officious imo. Probably had never looked after a toddler on a train journey before. I personally find it is men 'of a certain age' [ie older than 60] who are the most intolerant of little ones in public, probably because they do believe that children come with an off switch that parents should be able to access and in their households it was always the missus who dealt with the childcare while they had a hard day on the rails, then coming home to their pipe and slippers by the fire whilst the children were bathed and put to bed

[OnwardBound]

Just realised you never said how old the conductor was!

I think I have visualised him as a 60 plus grumpy git. He may be younger than that but he is still a grumpy bugger!

[mamamibbo]

wow, i cant cope with crying babies, it really really gets to me so i think yanbu.

[storminabuttercup]

YANBU, if it was an adult messing with a game I'd be a bit but it's a toddler.

Last time we were on a train I'd have done anything for DS to sit and play a game. He just told the man opposite that we were 'on a train choo choo' repeatedly for 25 minutes

[JurassicFart]

Like many others have said - I have been on the tube and overground with mobile phones blaring music, violent drunks threatening passengers, shouting, screaming, pissing, vomiting - you name it. Never once have I seen a conductor intervene.

I don't think YABU and I have to wonder about the people who have replied saying they would prefer a screaming toddler to a bleepy game!

[Wallison]

I hate all of those bleeping things and think that people who bleep away on public transport are selfish. Get headphones or leave the bastard thing at home, ffs. And yes there are worse sins one can commit but that doesn't make it ok.