I went back to college in September at the grand old age of 32 and it seems to have rubbed some people up the wrong way.
A bit of background - I left school at 16 (with GCSEs) and worked for three years in an industry which no longer exists in the digital age. I then met my first dh, and had ds, now 8, and didn't work again (as it turns out ex h was a knob who didn't want me to work aside from doing all his accounts and admin). We eventually divorced and I am now remarried. Dh works, but we live in an expensive city (can't move because of access arrangement for ds), so his wage pays the rent only - actually, his entire monthly wage is £100 short of the rent and we live in the smallest, cheapest flat we could find - but we get small amount of housing benefit, CTC, WTC and some maintenance from ds father, so we are ok. We don't drink, rarely go out, no holidays, have a very tight food budget (£25 per week) so while we don't have luxuries, day to day life is manageable. Plus, now I am a full time student our council tax has been reduced so that has helped loads.
Prior to this course I looked for work for a year, and found nothing. I went for cleaning jobs, shop jobs, even part time things like lunchtime supervisor positions, everything going really. I was always turned down as I had no experience, no references (the job I had as a teenager was cash in hand and the place closed years ago) and because I'd had such a long time out of work. I also put my name down at countless places for volunteer work but there are so many people wanting to volunteer in my area.
I decided that instead of trying to find a min wage job I would be best off going to college to do a vocational course to better myself and eventually end up with a career. The course I am doing is for three years, but at the end I can get a managerial job in my chosen fields (there are many options with this course) and work my way up, or progress to a degree if I wish. I have to do work experience one/two days per week, which has been fantastic, and I am at college three days. Plus a lot of essay writing which easily take up an entire day if I have a day off.
Almost everyone in my family thinks I am taking the mick and that I should be working, instead of relying on dh and top up benefits (which we would probably still get anyway as I am only likely to find a min wage job at the moment).
I am under a lot of pressure to give up my course, but ex h really dented my confidence, called me stupid for years and this course is helping with that no end. I am doing so, so well, I can't tell you the boost it gives me when the tutors tell me that I am doing fantastically after years of feeling worthless.
I just wanted some opinions on what I am doing. I think it's the best thing for my families future but no one else seems to agree and it's getting me down.
AIBU?
to think I am not taking the piss by studying?
Scarfo · 30/10/2012 09:12
F*ck the lot of em, miserable gits 
you do what you want to do!! I got some stick when i returned to education (albeit i was younger than you) but considering i had no qualifications a job was unlikely to present itself, thankfully my dp was very supportive and still is considering he pays for everything and he earns pittance. I know ill be able to repay him one day by getting a job and allowing him to have a sick day (he's self employed, no work no pay) But Please don't give up!! Good luck with your course and future!!
Scarfo, you're absolutely doing the right thing, good on you!
Years ago I knew a lab technician who had had a similar career trajectory, bastard ex-husband, child, very very low self-esteem - and the university recognised that she was bright, took her on and supported her to get through a vocational course, and subsequently through an OU degree - she went from being the lab bottle washer to being the head of the teaching labs in that large university department.
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