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AIBU?

AIBU to feel really distressed about what I've been told has happened in my house

138 replies

OnlyWantsOne · 04/10/2012 17:19

We completed on our house this week. I went over there today ( had just picked keys up) to have a look round, see how much cleaning I need to do before we move in etc

There was a knock at the door. Old lady who lives down the road wanted to say hello etc and introduce herself.

I invited her in - she was telling me about bin days and reliable milk men, then she starts telling me about the people who lived there before. And then she says

"We'll you know, it was all very sad what happened"

Me, intrigued "really? What was?"

It turns out a baby was murdered in my house 25 years ago. I very small baby - this woman told me how, etc and in which room (my bedroom)

I'm moving in with 3 small children, my 6 week old being the youngest.

I just feel distressed she's told me. I wish she hadn't. I'm not easily spooked or concerned with ghosties etc but I just feel very sad about the whole thing now.

Hmmm

OP posts:

Report

BlueSkySinking · 04/10/2012 21:17

Maybe the baby wasn't murdered, maybe it was a cot death? Lots of parents have been accused over the years when in fact it was SID's. Not that that makes it any easier if it was a cot death but at least the baby could have been well loved and treasured. I would do some ceremonial thing. Light a candle, have the place blessed etc. Be at peace with things. Also you must have good feelings about the property generally as you bought the place.

MarthasHarbour · 04/10/2012 21:19

Pins to be fair i think the OP was paraphrasing the old dear to highlight how ignorant and gossipy she was.

wearsix said that when you move into a house you must open all the windows to let all the spirits free

TalkinPeace2 · 04/10/2012 21:25

When we moved into our house we opened the windows to let the stink out while we removed the pooey carpets, the bottle of wee from the cupboards and washed the blood off the windows and main walls. The knife marks will filled with polyfilla at a later date and the kicked in door frames were never quite the same again.
FAB party house when we lived there.

NameChangeGalore · 04/10/2012 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarthasHarbour · 04/10/2012 21:37

I mean you and your father no offence namechange and i can see that some elderly folk can lack in 'social etiquette' for reasons such as your dad's

However neither you nor i know what the woman's intentions were, going by my neighbours i am inclined to think she was a malicious gossip = i can see why you would think otherwise. there are two schools of thought on this

NellyJob · 04/10/2012 21:50

sounds malicious to me

omfgkillmenow · 04/10/2012 21:52

there was a terrible fire in my house before I moved in and tragically death, however I have filled it with love and joy. I feel lucky to have it because its a council house and 3 bedrooms are like gold dust, I know I wasn't the first person to be offered it but people turned it down because of what had happened. I don't even think about it even though when we first came to see it it was only partially fixed and still all black outside, I loved it from the start, Its my house now, in fact its my HOME now, and filled with love and fights and life, I don't have any issues with it at all.

expatinscotland · 04/10/2012 22:14

What a vicious auld besom she is for telling you that! Might not even be true.

TalkinPeace, the place still have blood on the walls when you moved in? That's a total health hazard! Ditto pooey carpets and wee.

TalkinPeace2 · 04/10/2012 22:20

expat
Yeah, it was rather a mess !!! But the house was a bargain and we knew most of the story. The five Mike Tysons in a blacked out BMW five months later demanding to see the baby were a bit of a shock though!

expatinscotland · 04/10/2012 22:28

Holy shit, Talkin. What happened if you don't mind my asking? Was it a rental property, I'd have made them clean it up first (poo makes me puke).

TalkinPeace2 · 04/10/2012 22:34

DSS bedsits. two tenants a couple. baby came out wrong colour. third party also in the house. drunken fights over many months. windows and doors punched in and threats with kitchen knives. nobody actually killed, several ambulances and the police at various times, but the Mike Tysons checked every room of our new home!
neighbours were VERY pleased when we moved in.

OP
Ignore your spiteful neighbour - enjoy your home.

expatinscotland · 04/10/2012 22:37

And I thought the drug dealer who used to live downstairs was bad!

theowlworrier · 05/10/2012 02:06

OP, maybe you moving in with your kids and baby is going to heal the house. Okay, that sounds like a load of old woo bollocks, but I think there is something nice about the house with a sad history getting a bright, happy future :) good luck with the move :)

MammaTJisWearingGold · 05/10/2012 05:29

Am I the only one wondering if the baby was really murdered or if they died of cot death. It was not the recognised thing it is today back then and would be enough to drive any mum insane.

Proudnscary · 05/10/2012 05:40

Just because she's old doesn't mean she's not an insensitive gossip. Some elderly people seem to think they can get away with 'telling you like it is' or in this case divulging some unnecessary and possibly exaggerated or untrue shiz.

I don't believe in 'healing houses' or spirits or hauntings (or God or anything really!). You will be as happy as you allow yourselves/make yourselves. Try and ignore what you've been told, dismiss it as neighbourhood story telling and enjoy your new home.

Proudnscary · 05/10/2012 05:41

(and I certainly wouldn't look into the story or research it. The mother being in a 'mental asylum' sounds terribly urban myth. Let it go)

porcamiseria · 05/10/2012 08:27

maybe the mother had post natal psychosis? so I would relate to it as a manslaughter rather than murder
not that it makes it any better

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 05/10/2012 08:38

Haven't read this all so I'm sorry to repeat.
Make sure that nasty woman doesn't tellyour kids.

fluffyraggies · 05/10/2012 08:45

Old house = likely-hood of a few deaths, yes :(

BUT - likely hood of a few births too, to even things up

(100 year old old cottage and this is how i comfort myself!)

BeatTheClock · 05/10/2012 08:52

That's very sad but blimey what is she like? I'd be more concerned about having her as a neighbour.

Just enjoy your new house and be happy in it that's most life affirming thing you can do (and avoid gossipy neighbour at all costs)

Frontpaw · 05/10/2012 09:00

That long ago - it was probably something completely different that just grew over the years. Village gossip! Ignore. Maybe she wanted to buy the house too!

TheBigJessie · 05/10/2012 09:23

I don't believe it, and I don't think you should, too. There's almost certainly a grain of truth in there-, i.e. there was a death.

She surely couldn't know everything in all that detail, unless she'd been an investigating police officer/juror/turned up every single day as a spectator at the trail. If it's the last one, draw your own conclusions...

But really, the details you've quoted here are doubtful. Mental asylum? 25 years ago was 1987. How would she know the mother had never been released from a "mental asylum"? Write letters to check the mother's still under a section order, does she? If the mother was sectioned (which is possible- she was suicidal after finding her baby had died of cot death, or she was suffering postpueral psychosis) it was probably lifted and she simply chose not to return to the area.

OnlyWantsOne · 05/10/2012 10:20

Part of me is morbidly curious now. That's terrible isn't it!!!

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 05/10/2012 11:20

Not terrible at all. It's your house. Easy enough to find out if she's telling porkies or not.

Either way, she was rather spiteful to tell you, the meanie!

sue52 · 05/10/2012 11:33

Every house has a past but it's not part of your life. Don't dwell on it, give your neighbour a wide berth and enjoy your new home.

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