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AIBU?

AIBU to feel really distressed about what I've been told has happened in my house

138 replies

OnlyWantsOne · 04/10/2012 17:19

We completed on our house this week. I went over there today ( had just picked keys up) to have a look round, see how much cleaning I need to do before we move in etc

There was a knock at the door. Old lady who lives down the road wanted to say hello etc and introduce herself.

I invited her in - she was telling me about bin days and reliable milk men, then she starts telling me about the people who lived there before. And then she says

"We'll you know, it was all very sad what happened"

Me, intrigued "really? What was?"

It turns out a baby was murdered in my house 25 years ago. I very small baby - this woman told me how, etc and in which room (my bedroom)

I'm moving in with 3 small children, my 6 week old being the youngest.

I just feel distressed she's told me. I wish she hadn't. I'm not easily spooked or concerned with ghosties etc but I just feel very sad about the whole thing now.

Hmmm

OP posts:

Report

lydiamama · 04/10/2012 19:55

It is, and normal that you are feeling a bit spooked, but in any single house a person has died, in some been murdered, even in the street we pass each day, in the church and so on. The house is nice as you bought it, so enjoy it.

Viperidae · 04/10/2012 20:01

Some people are very thoughtless OP. As someone said upthread though, at least you know rather than your DCs hearing wrong stories.

When we moved into our house I had to ring an ex-owner for info on some work that had been done, she screamed at me that it was an unhappy house, that I should take my children and get away from it before it destroyed our lives! We have now been here 15 years, have been and still are very happy here and both DCs are now grown up and doing well for themselves.

Don't let her scare you OP, you make your own happiness in a home, forget its past.

kiwigirl42 · 04/10/2012 20:04

bet the old bat couldn't get herself round to yours fast enough to tell you. What a cow. Sorry you found out like this. I'd be upset about something like that too.

ilovesprouts · 04/10/2012 20:06

my nxt door neighbours dad died in my house in one of the bedrooms ive lived here 15 years nothing happened.

FizzyLaces · 04/10/2012 20:10

She sounds like a right old bag. I would give her a wide berth!

My amazing friend was murdered in his house a year and a half ago and now a young family have moved in. They are very happy and I am glad there are happy people there as it should be a happy home.

TerraNotSoFirma · 04/10/2012 20:11

What a terrible cunt.
There was probably a race between her and the other nosy parkers as to who would get to you first. :(

I like the idea of planting something for remembrance, poor wee soul.
I am neither a believer nor disbeliever of spirits and such things but maybe you can say a few words to any potential spirits, just in case. ;)

NellyJob · 04/10/2012 20:12

I used that word Terra but a cross mummy told me off..

EdMcDunnough · 04/10/2012 20:13

She was probably making it up. She sounds nuts.

Don't have her in again, she might scare your children.

and ask the Vicar if you feel like it. Might put your mind at rest.

Helpyourself · 04/10/2012 20:16

Horrid, horrid woman.
Get the house blessed when you move in. Not because there's anything to do with what happened still there, but to mark your new beginings in the house.

iloveeverton · 04/10/2012 20:16

Someone hung themselves in my house. About 15 years ago. My friend knew him and told me before we moved in. Been here a year and all is fine.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 04/10/2012 20:16

These tales live on for many years. I was told by a "kind" neighbour that a woman had gone slowly mad and then hung herself in my kitchen back in the 40s as her husband was missing in action!

The neighbour was old...and had memories of it. I don't live there now but it was a sad house all the same...not due to the woman who killed herself...other things.

Take no notice. For all you know, its not true anyway.

EdMcDunnough · 04/10/2012 20:16

Also - I remember that feeling of being about to move into a house and finding out something crap about it.

It happened here - I was going for it, references, deposit, packing everything to move - and then realised that next door is a residential home for people who are mad.

It really worried me for some reason. I just felt like 'Oh NO' but actually - apart from one or two individuals who have been a bit odd to us - it's been fine and barely affects us.
In fact it's nice in a way as there's someone there 24/7, there are always lights on outside, and at the side of our house, so I feel safer - and some of the people who work there are brilliant.

It's been over four years now and I actually like it being there. So you do get used to things. It will be alright xx

Viviennemary · 04/10/2012 20:16

YANBU. A lot of people would be upset by this. I don't see why the lady felt the need to tell you. Who knows what has taken place in an older house. Why not get a local vicar or priest to come in and say a prayer even if you're not that religious. It might help.

QuintessentialShadows · 04/10/2012 20:19

I bet she only told you because somebody in her family had put an offer in.

Make it a happy home.

WithoutCaution · 04/10/2012 20:21

Well, if it makes you feel any better I don't think the people who own my great, great, great grandads old house are aware that both he and his wife hung themselves in the kitchen after leaving their very young child with his grandparents. You tend to find out things like this when your mother is researching her family tree.

I've lived in plenty of old houses and they all creaked and groaned. I did accidentally dig up a dogs skeleton at my old house panicked and thought it was human until I dug up and looked closely at the rest of the skeleton I reburied it and planted a tree on top of it

DowagersHump · 04/10/2012 20:22

If you lived anywhere in London, no one would have any idea who'd even lived there 25 years previously, much less who'd died there.

I would plant rosemary and make your new home a wonderful place full of love and laughter :)

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 04/10/2012 20:24

Not true Dowager! I lived in a top floor flat (old building) in Hackney and there was a lady next door who knew a tonne about who had lived in the building over the years.

bbface · 04/10/2012 20:25

I would be more concerned that this is utterly thoughtless woman is my neighbour.

DowagersHump · 04/10/2012 20:26

I guess I was just lucky then BigFatLegs :)

nikcname · 04/10/2012 20:30

When I moved into my old house, my next door neighbour came round to introduce herself and mentioned she would bring her scrapbook next time.

She delivered on this promise and had a HUGE book of newspaper cuttings, pictures etc of everything terrible that had ever happened in the local area. It included murder, robberies and fires. One of which had happened in my house, whole place was gutted as one of the kids was playing with matches.
Over the road had also had a fire, the kids had to jump out of an upstairs window to escape. One of them was too scared to jump and died of smoke inhalation and burns.

I know this is all true because I saw the book! She even pointed the parents of the child who died out to me when they were walking past (still lived in the area).

Absolutely bizarre. Some people really need to get a life. Avoided her (as much as you can someone right next door!) after that!

oohlaalaa · 04/10/2012 20:31

She should not have told you. How mean.

I would still buy a house knowing a murder had taken place 25 years earlier, but given a choice would prefer not to know.

WeAreSix · 04/10/2012 20:33

My Nan said that the first thing to do when you move into a house is to open all of the windows and doors to let the past and any lingering spirits out.

You can still make a happy home OP.

apostropheuse · 04/10/2012 20:35

I think it's inevitable that you would have found out. It just happened to be the old lady that told you.

I'm another one who lives in a house where a man died. Forty-seven years old, massive heart attack. My house is honestly fine. I did have the house blessed when I moved in, but as I'm religious I would have done that with any house anyway.

TandB · 04/10/2012 20:35

It's terribly sad and obviously a shock to hear about it, but you probably won't think about it in a few weeks. A toddler drowned in a pool that used to be in our back garden many years ago - we were shocked when we found out but it's fairly rare for me to remember about it now.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 04/10/2012 20:39

The thing is, most houses that are twenty plus years old have had some form of death in them..obviously a murder is more distressng but it's part of life.

We walk down streets and through fields regularly where people have fought, been killed, had battles...it's the way it is.

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