To be unsure about FB pregnancy announcements.

[Mylittlepuds]

The whole scan picture thing just makes me feel uneasy - it just feels too intrusive for me personally. But I can see that it's an 'easy' way of letting friends and family know in one swoop. What do others think? I'm wondering whether to do it (sans pic) in a few weeks time. However if the unthinkable happened, so many people would know. What's the best thing to do?

[ShabbyChit]

Personally I love seeing scan pics, bump pictures, pictures of nurseries, things people have bought for their babies, that kind of thing.

My DH is infertile and we have been TTC for almost 3 years - I would never suggest people don't share things such as this for fear of upsetting those who can't have kids, have MC etc.
That seems ridiculous to me - whatever anyone posts on FB at any time is bound to upset someone in your friends list, surly?
My dad died 5 years ago and to me that's like saying no one should post things relating to their parents as it might upset those who have lost their parents?

TBH for me (in the long term TTC camp) - FB is probably my preferred way to find out things such as this as it gives me a moment in the space of my own home for my heart to sink in jealousy, then I can get my head around it, be happy for the parents and put on a brave face next time I see them in person.

I would hate to see the shocked/upset/jealous look on my own face if someone told me they were expecting to my face!

[SneakyNuts]

Oh good !

[YouOldSlag]

Sneaky- I wouldn't hate you! I'd think it was fabulous news!

[SneakyNuts]

I did and will next time too.

I had a miscarriage at the end of 2009. Not once between then and when I fell pregnant with DD (March 2011), did I feel jealous of other people's pregnancies- nor did I feel they were insensitive for announcing theirs.

Oh, I posted bump pictures too AND mentioned my pregnancy in more than one status. You lot would hate me

[elliejjtiny]

When I was pregnant with DS3 I hardly told anyone until he was born. Just immediate family, close friends, people who I saw regularly who would notice and obviously the gp, midwife etc. DS2 has a genetic disability and I wanted to avoid the negative comments about the possibility of having 2 disabled children and how we would cope. After he was born I kind of wished we'd posted scan photos on facebook etc.

[YouOldSlag]

I wouldn't post pregnancy news until at least the first scan had come back OK. In the case of DS2 I had to wait for amnio results so didn't post until I was about 18 weeks. Once family know, once everything looks as OK as it can ever be, then I'll post.

After three losses, I would never post as soon as I had peed on a stick!

Once I feel in the clear, I would happily shout it from the rooftops and have a ticker tape parade.

[YouOldSlag]

Shitting, when I was able to finally post good pregnancy news after lots of heartache, there wasn't a person on earth who could have stopped me!

[shittingit]

myoldpuds just unsubscribe from most of their updates, I do and feel all the better for it.

you Those are exactly the sort of people I would want to see scan pics or announcements from, baby pics or count downs to due dates. The people I tend to inwardly eye-roll at ( must say I am nornally more patient, but lately my bs threshokd is v low)are the ones that make everything a drama/event, contant updates about their baby making journey, 'dh' or their baby, or their nursery, purchases-like big ass purchases that baby won't need until ay least a toddler those are the sorts of folk I won't defriend but will hide status updates from.

[Katienana]

I told close family and friends in person/phone/text etc then sent them a group fbook msg with the scan photo on. I did a separate status saying I was looking forward to baby coming for other friends to see. It was nice to get the comments and congratulations. I haven't posted loads about it though because lots of it is tmi and I would rather get advice from midwives or my family.

[Mylittlepuds]

Some do take it too far

[BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff]

YouOldSlag very well said.

Facebook is about sharing your life, good and bad. Some take it too far, updating every time they fart. Most people don't though, I have 100 friends on my wall (shittest stealth boast ever haha!) none of them annoy me or make me sneery.

I personally enjoy reading about my friend's lives, whether that be big announcements or the more mundane day to day stuff.

Maybe I just know normal people?

[YouOldSlag]

How about people who have had mcs and struggled with fertility and FINALLY have a pregnancy to celebrate, should they keep it themselves too?

Everyone has an equal right to experience life and feelings, good or bad. If you are having a hard time, you can't expect happy people to shut up about being happy. If you are poor, you can't expect people not to post pictures of expensive holidays. If you are ill, you can't expect people to hide photos of them running marathons etc

Every pregnancy is a miracle. I have lost three pregnancies and had a year of infertility, and yet I get so excited when I see or hear news of other people getting pregnant and having babies. It truly is a miracle, each and every one, and I would hate for people to feel they couldn't enjoy their moment. They are so rare and you may not have that joy again, so grab it now and soak it up.

Life is about light and shadow, not just shadow.

[Mylittlepuds]

Shittingit stealth boasting is pushing me to the edge of coming off FB

[shittingit]

I have not announced either of my pregnancies on fb, the folk I wanted to tell I either told in person or emailed. Im not far off my due date for no' 2 and there are people on my friends list that still don't know. I have never put up my scan pics either, just not me, also don't put up any overly gushy or personal statements about family life or dd or h- just feel uncomfortable. Also I am very very aware that I have some friends that are ltttc and those that have lost babies or had mmc and although I'm sure they are happy for me they don't need to read every minute detaiI about my dc or this pregnancy.

I don't mind the odd scan pic friends may post, but I did have a couple of people on my 'friends' list who I have unsubscribed from because of the whole over-sharing stealth boasting thing.

[filetheflightoffancy]

Oh and as for people who put the scan picture as their profile picture

[filetheflightoffancy]

I put a announcment of sorts on Facebook once I had told those close to me either in person or via email and had showed them a scan pic. I didnt put the scan picture on facebook because, despite putting tons of photos of ds on there being quite an avid user, I do think that it is nice to keep some things private (I didnt put the lovely professional pics we got done either).

I disagree that you shouldnt talk about your pregnancy at all on facebook for fear of upsetting someone. You cant not mention it at al on facebook (or in real life)l just in case someone is having difficulties with fertility because it would be wierd to not acknowledge such a big thing going on in your life. However, I do/did try not to moan too much about things just in case.

[LST]

I posted a picture of my 12 week scan pic and after I had told my employers and put 'surprise'!

[Mylittlepuds]

Thank you Youaresoright

[honeytea]

I don't really see the point of posting 12w scan photos - they all look the same

YABU my baby looked like an actual demon. Luckily by the 20 week scan he had become less demonic looking.

[Youaresoright]

I don't really see the point of posting 12w scan photos - they all look the same (other than DS1's who clearly had DH's un-birthable triangular head, but that was only of interest to us).

Congratulations OP.

[bellabreeze]

I think its great! Being pregnant is something to celebrate

[YouOldSlag]

I wouldn't want to hear this news from a "loved one" via FB though. I'd hope they would want to tell me in person, phone or at least email!

The etiquette in our family is that once you have told immediate family and very best friends, you then put it on FB for your wider circle. Everyone is different, that's just how we do it. My family live all over so it's usually a phone call.

[YouOldSlag]

I disagree You May. My friend put details of her father's funeral on FB to get the message to as many people as possible who would have wanted to attend. She had an outpouring of support.

FB isn't just for happy moments.

People use FB in a million ways and I don't think we can ever police that, which is why they have provided a hide button.