To not understand why Martina Cole books are so popular?

[incompetentandunprofessional]

I just feel (irrationally) irritated by the way she writes! I have tried to like her books, really, because everyone seems to think they are so great. But I have just finished reading one and became increasingly irritated by her style of writing, lack of any description, and rubbish plot.

Why do all of her characters speak exactly the same as each other, with the same mannerisms? Why do they never ever say 'don't, I've etc', always 'do not, I have'. I've noticed that every character does it! And always the same phrases, in particular 'safely assume' pops up on almost every page.

I just find it strange that seemingly everybody else who has read her books thinks they are great, so I must be being U, but...they are crap, aren't they? Anyone?

[BernardsarenotalwaysSaints]

I've never been tempted by her stuff. Don't think I ever will be now! I read a couple of Danielle Steel books in my late teens but got bored with the similarities after the 3rd. I'm not a fan of chic lit really apart from Jane Green I'll usually read 1 of hers once a year or so. I'm rereading my Terry Pratchett's atm

[Blondeshavemorefun]

i love them and have them all and met martina. shes lovely and so down to eart

think of an adele writer iyswim and have a pic of us and she lives near me

'blondes runs for her life'

[vienna288]

I just finished read "The Faithless". It was my 1st and will be my last MC book. I was mad at myself for finishing it. I do a lot of reading (in fact, I feel incomplete unless I have a book on the go). Here are some of my reasons for disliking it:

1. Far too much unecessay swearing. When the F word appears in a sentence like "honey, please pass the F...ing peas...", that is just unnecessary swearing.

1. Chapters are far too short.

1. Plot was totally unrealistic. Apparently, after a law abiding family hears a few snippets of convo in a pub, the head of the family decides to turn to a life of crime and drags his family into it as well.

1. It was v. difficult to follow the timeline. I was never sure wether the next chapter was 5 minutes/days/weeks/years after the previous one.

I dislike it enough to question the critical acclaim it apparently recieved. The people who wrote these columns/critiques need to expand their horizons and/or develop some better standards.

[DolomitesDonkey]

Haha antsy - legion indeed.

Ladykiller was excellent, read it when it first came out.

I like her books and the screen adaptation of "the take" was excellent - take note Tom Hardy fans. Li'l fuckin' Fredday et al.

Yes, they are samey, but so what? It does reflect real life. Musicians too release albums which are samey, it's what artists do. Renoir didn't paint so many geometrical pucci-style stuff. ;)

[qazxc]

In my opinion her books are crap and her writing atrocious, but to each their own.

[MrsHelsBels74]

I've been tempted by Martina Cole books before but I think I'll pass having read this thread.

She did a series on female serial killers a while back...she's quite scary though isn't she?

I must admit I quite like 'belly full of arms & legs' but maybe that's because I'm 7 months pregnant & that's exactly how I feel!

Yes to whoever mentioned Sophie Kinsella, I read the first shopoholic book & wanted to smack the author very hard!

I guess most authors follow a formula though, but you don't notice it at first. I quite liked The Da Vinci Code, but then read Angels & Demons & realised it was pretty much the same book!

[antsypants]

She has faults... and they are legion

Has anyone noticed that all her characters emulate almost exactly the Kemp brothers portrayal of the Kray brothers?

Her books just don't work if there is not a 'nonce' getting beaten to death at least once, because you know... gangsters like to look after their own.

Still, at least she is consistent in her banality and doesn't try to move outside her genre.

Can you imagine a chick lit Martina Cole novel?

[WaterGypsy]

It's the owing someone 50 sobs that makes my teeth itch..it's SOVS for chrissake, as in sovereigns! if you're going to pretend you are a cockney at least do a bit of research and get the words right.

YANBU her books are crap

[Icelollycraving]

The women frequently close their eyes in distress too.
I have read most of her books,I like any old crap that I don't need to think about.

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

Thanks, Giserable. I will not need reminding NOT to read her books. Gross.

[squeakytoy]

I agree with everyone who thinks her books have become so repetetive and boringly predictable and cliched.

The first few were really good. Gritty and well written, and then it went downhill.

I have met quite a few of the real life type of hard men and gangsters that she writes about, and none of them speak in the same way as she writes..

Skullduggery???

[SoleSource]

I'm so glad you said what you did to her Kate. There is more out than in as my Gran used to say!

[GiserableMitt]

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere 'belly full of arms and legs' = pregnant (not someone who's been eating the limbs of small animals).

[Katiekitty]

I know Sole.

I expressed this to her (about the harm she could have done "but they shouldn't help themselves to my paracetamol, should they?" is what she said) and the book loan was withdrawn.

She really couldn't see it.

God, the day I left that office was a glorious day.

Have still never read a Martina Cole book yet. Kind of put me off.

[SoleSource]

Oh Katie sge cpuld have murdered somebidy via her thoughtless actions via a fatal crash. The fucking nutjob. So sorry you had to work with fing.

[Katiekitty]

Sole - SHE did! She swapped the tablets and had NO qualms about telling me.

She worked at the RAC before we happened to work in the same office.

She told me this story (about how she changed the tablets) all bright and breezy and then when I said "you what??" she said she wouldn'[t bring her books in for me.

It was a weird place to work, the stories I could tell.

She was somewhat weird, I have to say. But she loved Martina Cole.

[peeriebear]

I tried to read one once when I was given it for free, but couldn't get past the first few pages. I'll normally read any old murder/thriller/mystery crap too!

[SoleSource]

Katie you exchanged the tablets or she did? She didn't trust you with her uYbooks, why?

[Katiekitty]

I used to work in an office where someone senior kept trying to kend me Martina Cole books saying they were brilliant.

I asked her to bring some in.

She also told me - TRUE STORY - that when she used to work for the RAC she "got pissed off with the driving blokes nicking my paracetamol, so I replaced them with sleeping tablets."

She never trusted me with her Martina Cole books and I left that job soon after.

[Allice]

In every single book someone always "loves the bones" of someone else.

Can't abide "belly full of arms and legs either"

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

The Sky adaptations are good. I will read most things but for some reason I've never been tempted by MC.

[FeakAndWeeble]

Agree with you a million percent OP, and the whole 'I do not' think really really gets on my tits!! 'The Ladykiller ' and 'Two Women' are brilliant IMO but everything else she's ever written - pants, total formulaic crap.

[Lexagon]

Reading one is the equivalent of having a 70 a day smoker bellow "You old slaaaaaaaaaaaaag" down your ear.

[wigglesrock]

I read one a few years ago and quite enjoyed it, so went and borrowed another - was a bit samey, so I gave another one a go - I swear all 3 were variations on the first one. Same character traits, same one-liners, only they got more violent and distasteful.