PILs smoking around DS and me (pregnant)

[Badgerina]

So. DH has a rather "precious" attitude towards his parents (mum in partic.) in that he won't be assertive about things, in case they get upset about it. Not sure what he's so afraid of, his parents are actually rational, reasonable people.

His parents both smoke. They smoke in the house (which I think is gross anyway, but it is their house). What I don't like is them smoking in the house when we're there with my DS. I also really HATE myself for never simply politely bringing it up 4 years ago when DH and I first met.

In my defense, I did mention it to DH at the time, but was told "it's their house, I'm not about to tell them what they can and can't do in their own home".

Since I've been pregnant, I guess I've become even more unhappy about it. Since DH or I have never said anything about our feelings about smoking around DS (a fact I feel VERY shit about, and feel like a crap mum about), I worry that my PILs will continue to smoke in the house when we visit with our new baby, when he's born.

AIBU to expect them NOT to smoke in their own home, around children, pregnant me, baby?

AIBU to expect DH to say something (he will try everything to avoid that conversation).

WIBU for ME to bring it up with PILs?

[Badgerina]

Noquontrol I guess since I've been standing up to my parents since I was 15 over various issues, I just expected my husband to have been doing the same! I can't imagine how I'd have survived!

You're right though, he hasn't been, so I guess I have to show him. heavy sigh